Page 90 of Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I need fucking honesty, Adriana.” I released another aggravated breath.

Her hand looped with mine in the grass. “We know.”

“Too much change is happening right now. I’m trying to catch up but it feels like…” I paused. “You know what running feels like in your dreams?”

“Yeah.” She giggled.

“That’s it. I’m trying to keep up with everyone going in a hundred different directions, but my legs won’t move. They want to, I’m kicking, but some weird outside force I can’t fight is keeping me in the same place.”

“It’s the protector instinct.” She squeezed my hand. “You’ve been the man of the house for longer than Dad was at this point. That’s not an easy torch to pass, especially to someone you don’t know.” A beat passed. “Look at me.”

We both turned our heads in unison.

“Would I ever let someone I didn’t think was worthy of Mom into our lives?”

I sighed. “No.”

“Exactly. I don’t know if you know this, but you are one scary motherfucker when you want to be.”

I cracked a reluctant smile. “Shut up.”

“Literally no one could fill your shoes, Frankie, you are too good. You’re the best person I’ve ever met. Selfless, loyal, humble, hardworking—funny.” That last word came out under her breath. “But you need to be all of those things foryou, not for us anymore.”

“What does that mean?” I snorted.

“Go to Colorado.”

I swallowed the challenge bubbling in my throat. “What if it’s the wrong choice?”

“You would have never even gone out there for an interview in the first place if you thought that.”

We both sat up again, staring down the hill at the silhouettes of Mom and Charlie moving about in the kitchen through the windows. Malia stood close by laughing at something animated he was describing with his hands as Mom smiled into the sudsy sink.

“They have to know.” I gestured to Malia before turning back toward my sister.

“I think Mom is just waiting for me to say it first,” Addy admitted. “She hasn’t given a random guy at the deli counter my number since Malia started coming around.”

“Quite the matchmaker.”

“Apparently not.” She grinned, her teeth bright against the darkening curtain of night. “I have friends with teenage children, Frankie.” Her eyes widened and she shook me playfully. “Teenagers!”

“Well, I’m happy for you anyway.” I threw an arm around her shoulder. “Everyone’s paired up, huh? Just in time for Christmas.”

My sister leaned her head on my shoulder. I knew her curiosity still ran rampant, the questions ping-ponging through her head so loud I could hear them. I wanted her to pry a little more. Which was bewildering, given that until that moment I’d wanted exactly the opposite.

Maybe it was knowing that everyone I cared about had it all figured out and I was still stuck in a limbo, waiting for something to happen. Mateo and Tally, Adriana and Malia, Mom and Charlie. Even if they didn’t have it figured out, they still had each other.

I was far from settled, and I definitely didn’t have my shit together. But I did have one thing that was quickly becoming the best part of my tangled, inexplicable chaos.

“Are you gonna tell me her name now?” Addy asked expectantly.

The corner of my mouth twitched upward. “Ophelia.”

26

ThedoortoFrankie’sbedroom clicked shut, just in time for me to casually throw myself on the bed and answer the video call coming in before it turned to voicemail.

I made myself at home amongst the pillows, answering it with my brightest smile as a pixelated image of my mother filled the screen. She was sitting in the sun room, dusk not quite reaching that side of the country yet, whereas I was shrouded in night and lamplight.

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