Page 21 of For Pleasure Or Worse

I blinked up into his soft stare. "Howl at the moon?"

"Yeah, like tonight. It's a full moon. It kind of makes me feel like a kid again, hearing all those myths about wolves and the moon. I would pretend I was a wolf sometimes with my brother, because that was a very cool, manly thing to be." He was pacingin a small line. "What I'm trying to get at here is that the moon reminded me of being a kid just now, and how things were really simple and fun, and how there wasn't so much stress back then. Or even if there was, we could still pretend we were wolves and howl at the moon and that stuff disappeared for a little while. That's how the last few hours have felt for me, at least. Like being a kid again."

That seed that was planted in my heart earlier was growing a stem, I could feel it stretching itself out in my chest. He thought nothing he said was making sense but it did perfectly. He was describing healing. I didn’t know everything about the man in front of me—in fact, I knew next to nothing—but I wanted to. I wanted to know what he needed healing from, too.

I didn't think about it. I just took a long balancing breath, and howled.

There was no one else outside, but a light switched on a few buildings down, and I swore I saw a rogue curtain rustle in a window. Mateo's eyes widened, and a shocked, almost saccharine grin spread across his face.

My breath tapered out and I sighed. "You're right, that felt good."

He brushed his palm down his face. "Yeah? Fuck it."

Mateo howled louder than I had, his neck stretching toward the full bright moon. It tinged him in blue and he looked even more dazzling than ever. Everything about this date was entirely unexpected. It was an unsolvable puzzle. It was new and fun and made me wish it would never end. I wanted to keep opening doors with Mateo. I wanted to keep guessing what was next.

"Look at where my honesty has gotten us now," he finished, laughing. He took a step toward me, leaving little more than a finger of space between us. His body heat radiated through my thin top, and I wondered without looking down if my even thinner bralette was exposing something different.

"Can it be my turn to be honest?" I asked.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. Another inch closer now, pressing our hips together. "Of course."

"I wasn't going to sleep with you tonight."

"I wasn't expecting anything."

"But if I kiss you, and send you on your way, it's just going to be me and my vibrator upstairs for the rest of the night."

"Fuck’s sake," he sighed out, pressing his palms against the front door on either side of my head.

"Wishing it was you being very, very disrespectful instead."

He tucked a fallen strand of hair behind my ear. "Well, what are we going to do about that, Tally?"

I turned and unlocked the entryway, falling into my small foyer that led up a flight of stairs. I didn’t look back but I left the door open as I climbed slowly to the second floor with my lungs and my heart in my throat. There was a very strong possibility that I’d just blown it. Coming on too hard, too strong, overconfident. I’d have to live with it whether I liked it or not.

I’d almost reached the top step when the door slammed shut behind me, stopping me in my tracks. Followed by Mateo’s footsteps trailing me upstairs.

chapter six

Natalia

“It was a fucking disaster, Phee.”I pinched my phone between my shoulder and my ear. “J.T. and Janet Jackson level catastrophic. I might as well have ripped my top off and saved myself the embarrassment.”

“I doubt it was as bad as you’re making it seem.” Ophelia’s soft voice crackled on the other end. “It’s always worse after the fight, because you keep thinking about all the things you could have said and done in the moment. When you take a shower, especially. I have full disagreements with my shampoo bottles.”

“I called Camilla a cunt in front of my future mother-in-law.”

A beat of silence passed. “Well, that word is so much less taboo now.”

“That’s what I said! Like, I’m sorry you haven’t caught up yet, no need to make me feel like a Victorian woman with her ankles out.”

“It’s a small hiccup,” she said. “You got your dress, and it’s perfect. Camilla will get over it.”

“This is why I need you here. You’re the only one who gets me. I’m not ready for the next six months of doing damage control. And after the other day, good luck trying to get my sisters to be complicit in anything that has to do with thiswedding. They’re actively campaigning against me now that none of them get to wave the maid of honor flag around.”

“You know I love you,” Ophelia reminded me. “I am very okay with being the secret unofficial maid of honor if it’s going to ruffle feathers. I don’t need the label.”

“No, youdeservethe label.”

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