Page 31 of For Pleasure Or Worse

Heat danced across my cheeks, and I admired the lips those words had just come from. My thumbs rested on his cheeks and dipped into his dimples. “How are you both the most foul-mouthed yet deeply romantic man I’ve ever met?”

“You bring everything out of me. What can I say?”

I kissed him softly. His large frame above me blocked out the light of the room. “What are we going to do about your parents? I need them to like me, Matty, it’s my only chance at a normal functioning family. It hasn’t even been a month yet and we’re already in the doghouse.”

Mateo cleared his throat. “I’ll think of something. Play my mom at her own game.”

“You’re seriously going to try to out-petty your own mother?”

“I’m not going to try, baby. I’m going todo.”

I pushed at his chest until he flopped back over on the bed next to me. We both stared up at the yellow glow of the ceiling light together and a thought crossed my mind. A poorly executed but well-intentioned thought. “I’ll cook dinner for them. Nothing says I love you like Italian food.”

Mateo hummed and linked his fingers together on his sternum. “No promises that it will work, but it definitely wouldn’t hurt.”

“We can do this. After your parents are placated, I might need some support to patch things up with my sisters, too. Think of all this as the first real test of the rest of our lives. You and me versus the world.”

“It’s always you and me versus the world,” Mateo echoed. Not only did I need those words from him in that moment of stressful uncertainty, I believed every last syllable. If anyone in this universe would stand beside me through whatever life could andwouldthrow at us—it was Mateo.

chapter ten

Natalia

13 months ago

This wasthe moment I’d been dreading for over a month now. Every single time I got comfortable, or felt happy, the needling understanding that this conversation with Mateo was inevitable would drag me back down and taint it.

There was a wing special at the local sports bar where he met me after work, and the music was so loud I couldn’t even hear myself think. This restaurant felt less intimidating than waiting until he was back at my apartment to talk, and also gave him an out if he needed it. I curled into myself, rubbing the chills off my arms as the beer I ordered sat untouched in front of me, bubbles dancing from the butt of the glass into the foam rimming the top.

We hadn’t left each other’s sides since Mateo took me out on that first date to the roller rink. We were playing musical houses between my bed in Coconut Creek and Mateo’s much larger one in his house in Pompano. During the day he’d leave me under the covers to go off to work with Frankie, and I’d hobble to the bank, counting down the hours until I was back in his arms. Even then, we never stopped texting. I had a toiletry bag sitting on the vanity of his bathroom, his clothes were on my floor, andmy jewelry had taken up residence on his nightstand next to his watches. I had never eaten so much takeout in my entire life.

There was no hope in keeping this relationship casual. The only one who was even trying was me, and try as I might, the way I felt around Mateo was indescribable and addictive. I couldn’t leave his side without crawling back on my hands and knees.

Which was the real issue.

The sex work was suffering. My clients were wondering where the fuck I’d gone, my servers were dwindling in subscriptions by the hour, and content had come to a screeching, ghostly halt with no explanation. Because how could I be naked on a livestream in my apartment if I was reverse cowgirl on a veteran down the road?

Beyond that it felt…morally gray. Unfaithful in a way that didn’t even make sense. It wasn’t as if Mateo and I were exclusive. We hadn’t discussed it; he hadn’t asked me to commit to him, nor would I expect that despite spending every waking hour together for the last month. I knew his favorite color, songs, and foods; he was afraid of heights, played baseball in high school, and broke his arm in fifth grade when he ran his bike through a crosswalk and got sideswiped by a taxi. He had twenty-seven first cousins and five of them were named Anthony.

But I couldn’t quit my business for a man. Not one I’d just met. I couldn’t keep it a secret from him either. I was way too invested in my career and I’d worked my ass off to bring an ethical, empowering, high-quality porn experience to my audience. It was really starting to pay off and bud into something I was deeply proud of.

My eyes darted from a pie chart of indecipherable sports stats on ESPN to Mateo sitting across from me licking hot sauce from the end of a chicken wing. A spot of it was left in the dimple on his cheek and I reached over, wiping it off. He grabbed hisnapkin and patted down the rest of his face. “You’re awfully quiet over there. Everything okay?”

Everything was not okay. My nerves braided around each other, tightening until even my throat stiffened. Rehearsing something to say would have been a helpful idea in hindsight, but winging things was much more my style, no pun intended. “Yup.”

He was fully reading me now, dragging his eyes down my face and raising a brow. “You’ve barely even touched your food.”

“Big lunch.”

“Oh yeah, what did you have?”

I swallowed. “A sandwich.”

“From where?”

“What’s with the twenty questions?”

Mateo smirked. “Fibber.”

---