Page 57 of For Pleasure Or Worse

"Yours works just fine."

"I’m trying to do it all," I said. “But I’m shit at balancing everything at once, between the wedding, Mateo’s parents, mine, the cam business… Mateo is trying his hardest to be in two places at once, but it’s not working anymore. It’s almost like my thing isn’t as important as his thing, as stupid as that sounds. I know he had TechOps before me and I had the cam page before him, but we’re supposed to be partners in it.”

“I know you might feel like you're losing control, but on the surface it doesn't look like that. You're so impressive, Nat. Mateo has a lot on his plate, too. You guys are just hitting traffic, but you’ll still get there.”

After the prenup debacle Bella hadn’t pressed it again. Her dropping it was as close to an apology as I’d likely get. My sisters had been staying intentionally neutral on the entire thing, assumingly to not piss off our parents by choosing sides. “I know what my family thinks, but be honest with me, do you think Mateo and I are jumping into things? Are we doing this too fast?"

Phee shook her head. "When you know, you know."

"That's the thing. Wedoknow. Before we decided to get married everything was perfect. Our life was so easy. There weren't families involved with all their opinions and planning. Inviting Anna and David to live here for six months was stupid, and Mateo warned me it was a bad idea for our relationship. I love the Durans, don't get me wrong, but…” I took a deep breath. "It’s been a lot harder on both of us than I expected. Working with them in the house is impossible, and even when they do leave and I get some time to make content, Mateo isn’t here.”

"How's the camming otherwise?"

I rolled out of bed and padded over to the desktop, waking it up with a tap of the keys. "I'm a foley artist now. I've pretty much perfected silently filming sex. Do you know that I dubbed the sound of Mateo's hips slapping against my ass the other day? I added it after the fact with a raw piece of top round beef.”

"Shut the fuck up." Ophelia clapped a hand over her mouth. "People buy that?"

I clicked a folder on the screen and pressed play, and the sharp slap of skin on skin filled the room.

"Wow, that is very natural, surprisingly. You're incredible at what you do, I give you that."

"I spanked the shit out of that thing."

Ophelia blew out a breath and pulled a block of sticky notes and a pen in front of her. “Let's focus on the now," she said. “What can I do to help you from Colorado? Want me to handwrite place cards? I’ll do it. Call the florist? Finalize the setlist? Coordinate with the day-of planner? What do you need so that you and Mateo can go wild and get your work done without a piece of raw beef involved?”

I swallowed and dug my toes into the corner of the throw rug. "That's another thing. We haven't had sex."

Phee tapped the pen on her chin. "You meansex?"

"I mean the difference between work and play." I sighed and covered my eyes, embarrassed. "I feel like a caged animal that hasn't been fed, Phee. I'm ovulating, which doesn't help. Because that man walks past me in a T-shirt with the sleeves a little too tight and his hair a little bit sweaty and my kitty is already purring."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"She's not purring, she's mewing."

"Growling."

"Ever since that dinner with my parents he's been gentle Mateo, sweet Mateo. Like he's trying not to set me off. But I want to be manhandled. Okay? I want to turn my dumb little brain off, and spread my legs, and have my hot fucking fiancé rag doll me around the bedroom like a plaything."

"I want that for you, too," Ophelia said. “Hell yeah.”

"I don't want to hold onto the headboard, I want to be chained to it!" I cried.

She shrugged. “Some daddy issues are more extreme than others.”

"I want to be spanked and choked within an inch of my life!"

Her eyes went wide, but supportive. “What kind of books have you been reading?”

My cheeks pinched with a smile and a tickled laugh burst out of me. "This is therapeutic. I can’t wait to hug you tomorrow."

"Speaking of, you have a morning flight and I requested early check-in. A limo service is set to pick you up from the airport in Vegas. It's about a twenty-minute drive to the rental, and if everything is timed correctly, Frankie and I and the Swan boys will be there already. Your sisters fly in mid-afternoon, and I have dinner planned at six, followed by some light ice breaker games to get everyone a bit more acquainted, a poolside toast, and clay face masks before bed. Then a full schedule for Saturday."

"You and your lists." I chuckled. "I'm sure everything will go perfectly with you in charge, Phee. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You still have to pack," she stressed, tapping around on the screen of her phone. "I'm sure the same can be said for Mateo. Go and take your time getting all your stuff together. I just texted you a checklist."

I scanned the perfectly curated and columned list of items of necessary items to be packed in my suitcase, along with suggested but not imperative belongings—everything from toiletries to electronics and unmentionables. “You know, I'm actually quite good at organization and task handling when it comes to my business."

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