Page 58 of For Pleasure Or Worse

"But when it comes to your personal life, you're a hot mess." She blew me a kiss. "I'm here to help you destress, remember? I don't want you to have to lift a manicured finger for the rest of the weekend unless it's to bring a margarita to your mouth."

I chewed on my bottom lip as it sprouted into a smile. "Fine." I gave in. The light at the end of the tunnel was dotting into view. Weight was not just lifted from my shoulders, it felt like years had been returned to my life. Vibrance dancing back into the dull, forgotten halls inside me. I was hopeful again, that everyhiccup was part of the plan and the only one holding me back from enjoying the wedding was me.

"You know what else could really help you?"

"What?"

Ophelia leaned closer to the screen. "Maybe a littleyoutime," she said quietly. “Without Mateo.”

"Phee," I gasped. The last time I masturbated for the fun of it was so long ago I’d forgotten it. It was usually something I did after solo filming if I worked myself up enough and Matty wasn’t home to finish me off.

"Play a little DJ on the downstairs turntables," she added.

I threw my hand over my eyes. "You’re using my words against me.”

"Take the edge off."

"Okay, I'm leaving this conversation."

"Like I don't know you've done worse in that bedroom!" she added in a hurry.

“Love you!” I doled back, ending the video chat with an amused shake of my head.

Packing was exceedingly more manageable and faster with Ophelia’s list. I even gathered Mateo's things into his suitcase for him to look over when he got home from work. Maybe I was more like his mother than he thought I was. In a good way. In the nurturing, caretaking ways that weren't learned, but natural.

After scanning the bedroom a final time before zipping my suitcase, my gaze caught on the bedside drawer. The drawer I kept several of my and Matty’s favorite toys and lubricants for easy access. The rest of our collection was carefully tucked out of sight in boxes, under the bed, in the closet. I ran my tongue along the backside of my teeth and tapped my fingers on my chin.

It'd been an embarrassingly long while since I had some provocative time to myself. There was nothing left to do beforeour flight tomorrow, and Mateo was still at work for God knew how long. With his track record lately it could be hours before he finished the installation. Taking a nice, long shower to relax wasn’t the worst idea…

I'd already plucked my favorite thick pink toy out of the nightstand before I was done convincing myself.

The lock on the bathroom door clicked and steaming water spattered into the tub as I stripped in front of the mirror. For someone who spent a lot of time naked, I didn't spend much of it looking at myself. I ran my gentle fingers down my curves, over my breasts, drawing whispers of circles over my nipples. They puckered and darkened, and a lazy smile graced my mouth.

I kept going, sliding my fingers down to the apex of my thighs, dipping between them, tracing and circling until my breaths came faster. The toy was nothing fancy, a very standard dildo. Not like the rest of the things in our long-winded collection. There were no bells and whistles; it didn't even vibrate. But it was the pressure I needed. The familiarity, the size, the perfect escape.

All my muscles relaxed in my shoulders and down my back as I stepped into the balmy stream of water with it. Washing my hair, shaving and exfoliating with the promise of that penetrative orgasm to keep me on task. Then I started from the top again. I ran the toy over my lips, popping it into my mouth briefly, then slicked it over each of my nipples and down between my legs. A small tingle livened me as I slid the head over my clit. I widened my legs, propping my foot in the corner of the bathtub. The stream of water hit me perfectly, warm and forceful, and my head tilted back, a sigh leaving my mouth like a button popping off a pair of tight jeans.

My mind slipped to Mateo, his hands all over me, his cock teasing my core. That phenomenal thing he did with the curl of his tongue that somehow reached all the way inside of me whenhe went down on me. The skin on my shoulders bristled like static, the cool air kissing the parts of my body that the hot water couldn’t reach as I slid the toy inside of me, meeting resistance before relaxing and welcoming it deep and full.

My eyes drooped closed and my chest hummed with satisfaction as I pulled it out and thrust it back all the way, twice, three times. A coil tightened in my lower belly and my knees weakened. The tiles on the wall were sweating as I reached out to steady myself, working the toy in short frantic motions to reach the peak building.

Concentrate.Concentrate.

My mind had snapped into nothing. I willed it back to muscles, and that V-cut of Mateo's tight waist, tangled hands in my hair, one around my neck. I held my breath.

That's it.

Veiny, sinewed forearms, peaks of pectoral muscle, a long canvas of a neck begging to be bit. Fingers unworking a belt buckle, that masculine way he pulled off his T-shirt over the back of his head. When that T-shirt made it all the way into the hamper and didn't die on the floor on its way.

Oh…oh god. My insides clenched around the toy.

The thought of him putting down a towel over the sink before he shaved and changing the roll of toilet paper instead of balancing a new one on top of the old had me groaning out loud. My chest heaved in short bursts and a wave of pleasure ignited at my core.

"Yes, more," I squeaked out.

More? I was on the precipice. I canted my hips to meet the shower stream and picked up the pace of my hand, drilling the toy inside of me harder.

What if he—my eyes rolled back at the glimmer of the thought—what if he listened to the videos on his phone at a lower volume?

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