Page 52 of The Last Session

Moon called us all back together, handing out wooden slats and Sharpies.

“Okay!” Moon held up one of the pieces of wood. “We’re now going to write our intention in one word. Something we want to let go of this weekend. And go deep. No one else will see it but you.”

I paused only a second before writingSHAMEon mine, then held it face down on my lap.

Moon pulled out a round, skin-stretched drum whose sides werecovered in feathers. She started a slow, dramatic tattoo and nodded at me to go first. I walked towards the heat of the bonfire, then heaved in the wood. It crashed down in a shower of embers. Everyone cheered. I felt a small thrill at the applause, and couldn’t help but grin as I went back to my seat.

Jonah was gripping his slat, his fingers covering half the word, but I was still able to make it out as he jumped up and moved towards the fire.

The word was, strangely,DOUBT.

24

I’d thought the night would wind down after the ceremony. I was wrong.

After Ramit threw the last piece of wood into the fire, Moon led us in a processional back towards the castle, still banging her drum. We marched down the path, past the yurts and yoga tent, across the veranda, beyond the pool. Finally, we arrived at the wooden hot tub. Someone had turned on twinkling fairy lights that illuminated the space.

“Time to submerge!” Moon relished the words, beaming. “Get in!” Her drumbeat quickened, taking on an ominous tone.

“What?” Ramit said quietly.

“Submersion time, folks!” Sol pulled off his sweatshirt, revealing a taut, bare chest. He pulled the cover off the top of the tub, releasing billows of steam into the chilly night.

Moon stopped banging with a final thump and for a moment, everyone stood there in shock. We could hear Grace and Steven as they crossed the veranda, chatting softly while hauling Moon and Sol’s bags. The sounds faded as they went inside.

“Well, okay,” Dawne murmured as Sol shucked his pants and skipped up the steps, his white ass shining in the fairy lights. He gave an appreciative sigh as he slipped in the water.

“Guys, it feels fucking amazing.” He rubbed his face.

Moon set down the drum and drew up her white dress, showcasing the downy tufts in her armpits. Yep, there were those nipples, now attached to full breasts. More tattoos dotted her chest and ribs. She wore black hipster-style underwear that she tugged down. I glimpsed a triangle of dark pubic hair before realizing I was staring and looked away.

Dawne gave a small “Whoo!” and bent to unzip her platform boots. As if a button had been pushed, everyone started to tear off jackets and clothes. Even Karen, who was cackling and muttering, “Nothing we haven’t seen before!” Even Ramit, who looked alarmed.

Mikki rolled her eyes at me, suddenly in just her black bra.

Wait. Was this happening? Was I expected to get naked in front of people I’d met hours before? It felt suddenly hard to breathe.

I thought of Jonah’s words:This is a cult.Was this part of it, forcing people to be naked together, to increase their vulnerability or something?

In a flurry of skin, people were slipping into the hot tub, under the cover of the water. I suddenly realized that if I waited too long, everyone would be sitting there staring at me, watching my own personal strip show. Dawne and Jonah were already in the tub, which was larger than it looked from the outside.

Ramit—more muscular than I would’ve guessed—tried to casually cover his penis as he got into the tub. A nude Karen swung her shirt around her head.

“Party time!” she cried, then thundered up the steps and plopped in with a splash.

I still hadn’t made a move, stunned. It struck me that I could refuse, that I could say I wasn’t feeling well and go back to my yurt. But as Moon stood there, waiting patiently, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy.

She came closer, her breasts jiggling with every step. “You okay, Thea?” The diamond necklace gleamed at her collarbone.

There. The symbol tattooed on her chest, in the same position as Catherine’s.

“Um.” I tore my eyes away. Jonah had proof that Catherine had been here, but this was the first evidence I’d seen with my own eyes. It couldn’t be a coincidence, them having the same tattoo in the same place.

“It’s all right.” Moon put a ringed hand on my shoulder. This close, her spiced rose scent entered my nostrils. I glanced around. Mikki, the last to go in, had abandoned me, leaving her clothes in a neat pile.

“These are just our meat suits.” Moon grabbed a handful of flesh at her hip. “They don’t really mean anything.”

Well, I wouldn’t go that far. It wasn’t that I was particularly precious about my body; in college, I’d actually signed up to model nude for other art classes. While I had physical insecurities like many women, that wasn’t necessarily what was holding me back.

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