Page 61 of The Last Session

Mikki shrugged and adjusted her oversized button-down. “Not really.”

“But you do go to therapy, right?” Moon sat down on her cushion, motioning that Mikki should sit across from her. Sol jumped up and sat next to me, in her place.

“Yep.”

“What’s your therapist’s name?” Moon’s voice was soft today, nonthreatening.

“Zaila.”

“How do you feel about her?”

“She’s all right. My last therapist went on maternity leave and didn’t come back, so at least she hasn’t done that. Yet.”

“That’s frustrating.” Moon shifted, placing her feet on the floor, her arms crossed over her knees. She was mirroring Mikki’s posture.

“Yeah, well. That’s business, I guess.” Mikki stared back, challenging her.

“So did Zaila suggest this retreat?”

“Yes.”

“How so?”

“Well, I was talking about all my issues, as usual, and she brought it up.”

Moon nodded. “Does she suggest things often?”

“No.” Mikki smiled slightly. “She actually doesn’t say a lot, just lets me ramble. So I thought maybe I should listen to her.”

“You said the first night that you’re a love and sex addict. Tell me about that.”

Mikki blew out a long exhale. “Can I smoke?” She pulled out her vape pen.

“No.” Moon said it sharply. “No substances. Sorry.”

Mikki slipped it back in her pocket. “Well, it’s something I’ve dealt with for a long time.”

“Itmeans…”

“I guess the best way to say it is seducing people.”

“Who was the first?”

“It started in high school.” Mikki pulled her knees in closer. “Sophomore year, I made out with my friend’s boyfriend. I don’t know, it felt like this challenge. It was all I could think about. And the second we hooked up, it all went away. But I think it got worse in college. I went after one of my professors. She rejected me, which made me depressed. But then I switched to another professor—the father of a friend, actually. But when we started sleeping together, I got turned off.”

“So when it happens, the urge goes away.”

“Exactly. Before, it’s like needing to scratch an itch.”

“It’s compulsive.”

“Right.” Mikki bit her lower lip. “And I don’t even have to be attracted to them.”

“But they have power. And/or they’re out of bounds. Is that the pattern?”

“I guess so.”

“How does it feel?”

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