“I was too.” She stood. “Well, after my brother died.”
The words jarred me. “Oh. I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “A lot of people died in Ciudad Juárez. Carlos? He died too.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again, though it felt ineffectual. “That’s awful.”
“It was awful. And it wasn’t my brother and Carlos’s fault.” Her eyes grew red. “They couldn’t have avoided it. The drugs there… and the drug lords’ greed… it’s unfathomable. But you know what? At least I got to know them before they transitioned. And I’ll see them in the next life.”
“For sure.” Catherine had brought up reincarnation too. But it wasn’t that strange for the New Age set.
“You know.” Moon grabbed my hand. “I lost people I loved, and it was hard. Almost impossible. But for you… there was no one there, was there? Just empty space. A void where love and affection should’ve been.”
The words grabbed my throat.
“It was hard for you too,” she went on.
I managed to swallow. “It was.”
“I know.” She stepped forward and grabbed me in a hug, her breasts pressing against my ribs, her head nestling in my neck. She stroked my back. It felt shocking and strange… but as I realized she wasn’t letting go, I relaxed into it and felt unexpectedly soothed.
Some time passed—how long, I had no idea—until she pulled back with a warm smile. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I can tell that you do want to be here.”
“I do.” My eyes were red now, too, but I was able to keep the tears at bay. The last thing I wanted was for someone to come in and see me crying in the nude.
“Okay.” She squeezed my arm, wrapped herself in a towel, and left. I finished up, feeling bewildered. How had I gone from feeling supremely uncomfortable to embracing a naked Moon in the space of a few minutes?
Maybenoneof this was ethical. But I had to admit: Moon had something, some ability to leap into people’s deepest, tenderest parts with just a few words.
31
I hurried back to my yurt wrapped in the overlarge towel, not wanting to put on my dirty clothes. But on the gravel path, an arm suddenly encircled my upper chest from behind.
“Don’t move.” It was Sol’s breath in my ear, a warm vetiver scent in my nose.
What the fuck?
“Um.” I struggled, but he wouldn’t let go, the hard plane of his chest pressed against my back.
“See that?” He let go and I whirled around. But his eyes were on the path in front of me. I turned back to see an impressively large brown snake coiled on the path. I’d been so deep in thought from my conversation with Moon that I hadn’t even seen it. In the silence, a shivery maraca sound arose.
“Is that…” I was in awe.
“Rattlesnake.” Sol touched my arm. “Why don’t we give him some space? They usually keep moving, but I like to respect their timeline.”
“Yeah, definitely.” We walked off the path onto the dirt, giving the snake a wide berth. It was the biggest I’d seen in real life, its coloring helping it blend into the dirt and gravel, but now I could make out the rings and geometric patterns on its back. I couldn’t believe I’d been about to step right onto it. My heart still thudded.
“Sorry to grab you.” Sol strode next to me. “But they can be spooked by noise, so I didn’t want to yell.”
“No problem.” I tightened my towel.
“You know, I wanted to check in with you.” We slowed at the door to my yurt. He pulled a pair of yard-work gloves from his back pocket. “Join me in the greenhouse?”
“Sure.”
“Great. See you there.” He tucked a lock of blond hair behind his ear and gave me that megawatt grin before loping off.
I dressed quickly and threw on some mascara, trying to calm my still-vibrating nerves. It was from the rattlesnake, right? But something about Sol’s grabbing me had felt… I don’t know, erotic?