Page 1 of One of Our Own

CHAPTER ONE

FELICIA:National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, this is Felicia.

CHLOE:[sobbing]

FELICIA:It’s okay. I’m here. You’re not alone. You’re okay… can you tell me your name and where you’re calling from?

CHLOE:[more crying, the sounds of a car driving past]

FELICIA:Hello? I’m hearing some traffic around you.… Are you safe? Can you tell me where you are? Are you in danger?

CHLOE:Please… help me…

FELICIA:Are you in danger?

CHLOE:I can’t do this. I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t go to school tomorrow.

FELICIA:How come you can’t go to school? What’s going on there?

CHLOE:Oh my god.… There’s a video. I can’t believe there’s a video. They recorded it.… I didn’t know… I’m totally naked. [gulping breath] They’re sending it around and now everyone’s seen it. [breaks into sobs]

FELICIA:It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain, and I want to help you. You don’t have to go through this alone, okay? You’re not alone. I’vegot you. But first, I just have to ask you some questions to make sure you’re safe. Is that okay?

CHLOE:[deep breath] Yes.

FELICIA:Are you currently having thoughts about harming yourself, or not wanting to be alive?

CHLOE:[long pause] Yes.

FELICIA:Do you have a plan?

CHLOE:[softly] Yes…

FELICIA:Can you tell me about it?

CHLOE:My dad has a gun, and I know the combination to the safe. So that’s how I got it, but I’ve never used a gun before. I don’t know if I’ll do it right. What if I do it wrong? What if I screw it up like I screw everything else up?… That’s all I keep thinking about. Like, what if I do this, and it doesn’t work? [talking speeds up] What if I blow half my face off and have to live that way? Or I paralyze myself somehow so I’m stuck, like, trapped inside my body and I can’t try again? What if I don’t die? I don’t know how to shoot a gun. I—

FELICIA:Do you have the gun with you?

CHLOE:Yes.

FELICIA:And where are you right now?

CHLOE:I’m at the park.

FELICIA:A park? It’s very late… are other people there with you?

CHLOE:I’m alone. It’s just me, I think.

FELICIA:Can I ask why you’re at the park?

CHLOE:Because I didn’t want my parents to be the ones to find me. I couldn’t do that to them.… It would destroy my mom.

FELICIA:That was thoughtful of you. It sounds like you really care about your parents. Have you tried to talk to them about how you’re feeling?

CHLOE:Are you kidding me?! They’ll want to know what happened and I can’t tell them that. It’s so humiliating. No way. I can’t.

FELICIA:It’s okay. It’s okay.… Do you want to tell me what happened? Sometimes our callers find it helpful to talk about what’s on their minds, especially if they can’t talk about it with the people that are closest to them. I’m just here to listen, not to judge you. [pause] It sounds like the pain feels so intense that you’re thinking of—

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