Page 9 of One of Our Own

CHLOE:Promise you won’t tell anyone?

FELICIA:Your secret is safe with me.

CHLOE:Okay… [deep exhale]… There’s this guy I have a huge crush on, but he’s a senior, and I’m a freshman, so my parents would never let me hang out with him. They’d totally freak if they knew we were even talking.He’s one of those guys that got held back for sports, so he’s about to turn nineteen, you know? My best friend’s talking to one of his friends, too. Anyway, there was this huge party after the Worthington football game, and we were, like, two of the only freshman girls invited. Everyone else was basically juniors and seniors. [another pause] I told my parents I was sleeping over at her house, and she told her parents she was sleeping over at mine, so we could go to the party. I never should’ve gone…

FELICIA:Whose party? The boy you had a crush on?

CHLOE:No, it wasn’t at his house. It was at this kid Jett’s. He has all the parties after the football games. Everybody goes. [sniffles] Anyway, everything was fine in the beginning, you know? It was just like a regular party. People were having fun. But then my friend got superdrunk, like, sloppy, you know what I mean? So, I pretty much just had to take care of her. And before you get all judgy—I didn’t drink anything.

FELICIA:I would never judge you. I’m just here to listen, and help.

CHLOE:Well, just so you know, I never drink alcohol—it’s gross, and it makes me feel disgusting. I drank Sprite the entire night. Anyway, one minute we were in the living room dancing and acting like idiots. I remember that clearly. And then the next thing I remember is… what I remember is… being on my stomach on a bed. Someone was, you know… behind me, they were… they were… [sobbing]

FELICIA:It’s okay, honey. It’s okay. You don’t have to say it.

CHLOE:I wish I was as drunk as my friend. She doesn’t remember any of it. Not a single thing. They drugged her, too, but she was already blacked out by the time we got upstairs, so the whole night is gone. She doesn’t have any pieces. The only reason she knows it happened is because I told her. [pauses] Well, and the stupid video. She’s seen that, too. She was in the room with me, but she’s not on the video. For some reason, they decided to just film me. Guess I was special. [snort]

FELICIA:Do you know how many people there were? In the room?

CHLOE:Four? Maybe five? Might’ve been more.… I was terrified when I came to, and started trying to fight them off me. I kept kicking. Biting. Scratching. All that. But it was like my legs and my arms didn’t work right. Everything was floppy and uncoordinated. I guess it was because of the drugs they gave me or whatever. But I tried to fight them off me. Then I was stumbling around the room naked. I remember screaming for my clothes, bumping into things. I was so confused and disoriented. I thought—I thought my friend was dead. She wasn’t moving, just lying there face down on the bed with her arm flopped to the side. At first, I thought the guy behind her was trying to help her, and it took me a second to figure out what was really happening. What he was doing to her. I tried to get him off her, but he just threw me down, and I cracked my head on the floor. It was so hard to work my body. They all just stood around, laughing. That’s what they filmed. Someone filmed me freaking out… [starts crying softly]

FELICIA:Oh my god. I’m so sorry you were hurt like that. [long pause] Was this the guy you had a crush on? The one that pushed you?

CHLOE:[still crying] No, it wasn’t him. He left the party early because he was going on a college visit in the morning; he needed to get up at six or something crazy like that. But still, I’m sure he saw the video, and he’s never going to want anything to do with me now. Nobody is. So, that’s why I have to make them pay. [pause] You know what I was thinking today? I’m not sure I want to shoot them. If I shoot them, then they’re just dead in a second. That’s too easy. I want them to suffer. Really suffer.

FELICIA:[sudden change in her tone of voice, wavering] That’s understandable…

CHLOE:What’s wrong? You sound funny. Are you going to tell someone? You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!

FELICIA:No, no, it’s not that. I’m sorry. I told you—I’m not going to tell anyone what we’ve talked about, okay?

CHLOE:Promise?

FELICIA:Yes. If—if I sound a little distracted, it’s just because my boss keeps blowing up my phone.

CHLOE:Oh. Do you have to go?

FELICIA:I hate to do this to you, sweetie, I really do, but I think I have to take his call. He says it’s an emergency. I feel awful cutting this short. Are you going to be okay? Can we talk later?

CHLOE:I’m not sure if I’ll be able to talk later.

FELICIA:Okay, well, if you can’t talk later, promise me that you’ll call or text me tomorrow? We can figure this out together. I promised to keep your secret, so you’ve got to give me your word that we’ll talk again soon.

CHLOE:Okay… I promise.

FELICIA:All right. Just remember that I care about you. And we’ll talk soon. I have to go now.

I hated lying to her, but I didn’t know what else to do. I had to get off the line. My hands shook. I dropped the phone on my lap and rubbed my face. My brain scrambled to make sense of things. It had been so difficult to feign ignorance for the second half of the call. Ever since she confessed to being at Jett’s party.

I knew Jett Frasier. He was on the cross-country team. And Hunter had been at the same party.

CHAPTER SIX

I sat frozen in the car and staring at my phone. I was still in the driveway since I’d hung up with the girl ten minutes ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to go in the house. Not yet.

If what she said was true—that she and her friend were the only two freshmen there—then all I had to do was go inside and ask Hunter about it. On the one hand, I was grateful to have a way forward. If I knew who she was, I could easily find her parents by using the Buckley family directory and tell them what was happening. As relieved as that made me, I was equally troubled that Hunter was there. Could he or one of his friends be involved in any way?

Except I’d asked him about the video, and he said he hadn’t seen anything. Could he have been there and not been involved? Those parties were pretty big. Was it possible he had no idea it happened? Actually had not seen the video? I wanted that to be the case, but it seemed highly unlikely. My thoughts spun. I was so torn.

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