Page 124 of Cut Me Down

“What effects?” Serena asks as she wipes away a tear. She’s been so calm. Well, after hitting me, anyway. I suppose with her job, composure is a skill she’s learned, but now she’s starting to lose it. I don’t blame her. I know she loves Ashia too, and I'm sure this is tearing her apart inside.

“It started to erode the lining of her stomach, and numbed the muscles in her chest, which is why she had trouble breathing. Her vitals were starting to stabilize.” His eyes soften at us, but more so at Serena. It’s clear he knows her, and doesn’t want to be the one to tell us this…what is he not saying?

“Starting to?” Serena asks, her voice cracking.

“Until she seized again.” My heart drops to my feet…last time her heart stopped…

“W-why would she seize again?...” I ask, my voice shaking as much as my hands.

“Some poison patients have adverse reactions to the antidotes. She did. After the seizure, she stopped breathing, and we lost her pulse again.” Don't fucking say that… “We had to intubate, and we were successful at resuscitating her, but…”

“I-intubate?” I interrupt and Serena puts her hand on my arm. Either trying to comfort me or shut me up.

“They had to put a tube in her throat so she could breathe, Damien. Derek, how long does she have to stay on the vent?” He’s silent for a moment as he looks away from her. “Derek, how fucking long?”

“We’ve already tried to remove the vent, but she can’t breathe on her own. It could still be that her lungs just aren’t ready, or she sustained more damage than we originally thought. The poison affected the lining in her stomach, which then triggered her gag reflex. She did aspirate blood and vomit, so we have her on I.V. antibiotics.”

“W-What does that mean?” I ask.

“Her body’s gag reflex tried to push the poison out once it started to damage the stomach. However, she wasn’t conscious, so she was not able throw it up, and it traveled down her windpipe into her lungs.”

“Is the aspiration the reason she can’t breathe?” I ask quietly, I can’t force much else from the choking feeling in my throat.

“Possibly, but seizures can hurt the brain in ways we don’t understand. We won’t know much until we run some tests. There is brain activity, but so far she hasn’t been very responsive to our physical stimulation. The only clear way to tell at this point is brain scans, and to try physical stimulation again, if she wakes up.”

“What do you mean if?” Serena says. I feel my stomach drop and my chest tighten as I feel my hands begin to shake more than previously. My face runs cold…do not fucking say it…do not fucking say it… “Derek!” She yells at him.

“We are doing everything we can for her, but to be extremely honest, it’s not looking well. We think it’s best if you two prepare yourselves.” Serena’s hands drop and she takes a staggered step backwards. He can’t fucking mean that… Does she actually believe this mother fucker?!

“Oh, God.” Serena puts her hand over her mouth and walks away.

“P-prepare ourselves? What the fuck are you saying?” I step up to him. He’s full of shit. This wouldn’t kill her. Not Ashia. Not my girl…

“There is good chance she may not…”

“No. No you’re fucking lying!” I push past him and through the doors, almost sending them flying off of their hinges. “Ashia? What room are you in, baby?”

“Sir, you need to…” He yells at me and I snap around to face him.

“Fuck you!” I turn back. “Ashia?!” I have to find her…she’s not dying…she’s not dying…I look at all of the rooms and I don’t see her, until I get to the end of the hall and notice her clothes in a bag on the chair. Her dress clearly cut open and torn. She’s going to be so pissed; she really liked that dress. My mom gave that to her to wear to the funeral.

“Baby, would you tell this mother fucker…” I turn into the room, and I see her lying there, but I can barely see her face…there’s so many wires and tubes. I hear the slow beeping from the heart monitor echo in my head right next to the hissing and other noises coming from the machines. This can’t be happening…

I slowly make my way to her, and if it wasn’t for the tube sticking out of her mouth, she’d look peaceful. She’s just sleeping. That’s all…She’ll wake up any moment…I run my shaking hand over her forehead and through her hair, but she doesn’t even flinch…not a twitch of her finger, not a slight squint of her eyes…nothing.

My legs give out, and I fall into the chair next to her. This can't be happening. Where’s her smile? Her gorgeous golden eyes? Her divine laugh? The agony is overwhelming…I feel sick…

“Derek, call my parents.” I hear Serena say as she walks in and sits next to me. Her hand gently laying on my arm. “I'm sorry I hit you, and said those things…” She says softly, her voice barely audible through her tears.

“She’s going to be okay. Right?...She has to be okay…” I want to reach out and shake her. Tell her to stop fucking with me, that this isn’t fucking funny… This is all my fault…

“I've worked with Derek for a long time…” Her voice cracks again. “It’s not often he’s wrong.” She breaks down and sobs, my tears accompany hers. “I don’t understand…how could someone have done this…”

“I’ll find them…they’ll pay for this…” Images of her falling off the counter flood my mind again. How could someone so light hit the ground as hard as she did? She’s not more than one hundred twenty pounds, yet it was as if a grown man smacked concrete from a three story building… “I'm normally so good in a crisis…I-I don’t…”

“It’s different when it’s someone you love, Damien. Take it from me…” Now she acknowledges that I love her? Where the fuck was that two days ago? “I wasn’t that quick the first time I saw her lying on the floor. That night Cooper assaulted her for the last time, I was already on my way there to see her…I got there right as Tony was pulling up.” She clears her throat to stop the cracking of her voice. “I was already nursing, so I should’ve known what to do. How to react. But I didn’t.”

“Well, you did this time. Thank you.” I reach over to Ashia’s hand, and hold on for dear life, even if hers isn’t present… “I was going to ask her to marry me…”

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