Page 53 of Cut Me Down

“I’m not, Ser. You know I love you, and I know you love me. This is hard enough for me to wrap my brain around, okay? I know I should call the police, I know I should stay far away from my apartment, and I know that I should run as fast and far as I possibly can, but…” I feel the knot in my throat come back, and the words get stuck behind it.

“You don’t want to.” She softens the look in her eyes and on her face.

“I don’t know.” I run my hands over my face and grip the back of my neck. “I haven’t even known him for a week, and I barely know who he is, but he saved my life. Apart from the murdering and the stalking, he’s been very sweet to me.”

“Stalkers normally are at first.” The attitude returns to her face and it’s like she’s scolding me. I immediately feel myself cowering inside. Wishing I could duck down under the table and hide from her stare.

“I know. He’s so ahead of me, you know? He already knows so much about me, and I don’t know much about him.”

“Have you tried asking him?”

“Do you want me to get to know him or not, girl? Don’t give me whiplash.” She braces her hands on the table, her palms flat, but not straining.

“Listen. Either you want him out of your life, or you don’t. If you want to go right now and go to the cops, I’ll go with you. If you don’t, then I’ll keep checking up on you. But you need to figure out what you want to do. What does he want from you? Has he said?”

“He says he doesn’t believe in love, but when I asked him why he picked me, he talked about seeing me through the window at work and ‘just knowing’ that he had to have me. I don’t know if he wants a relationship, or if he just wants sex. He fucks like a God, but then he’s soft and gentle. I literally feel like I'm on a roller coaster with him.”

“Well, I’m not sure either, but from what you’ve told me, it doesn’t sound like he just wants sex. He can get that anywhere, and no offense, but if the chase was a thrill for him, he wouldn’t get much enjoyment out of you.” I dip down in my seat to the insult. She’s right. I haven’t really fought back. I know I shouldn’t like the mystery that he is, and I shouldn’t like the thrill and the arousal from him commanding me, but I do. Regardless, she has a point. “I’m sorry, Ash. That was shitty to say.” She sinks back as well.

“I mean, you’re right though. I haven’t tried to run from him. It just feels really nice to be wanted you know? I’ve never had anyone want me before. I've either been alone, or someone’s punching bag.” I take a deep breath, shoving the surfacing memories back down. “He does things to me that makes me question my sanity, but God it feels so good, and he treats me so well after. It’s like I’m the axis his world spins on. It’s the strangest thing. I’ve never had someone treat me good before. He asks me about my day, and he listens to me bitch. Even when I yell at him for being a creepy stalker, he just takes it, and says he gets it. It’s like he really cares about me, it doesn’t feel fake to me.”

I look down at the table, somewhat afraid of her reaction. I know how ridiculous I sound, but I'm being honest. If Damien had hurt me, I'd be feeling way differently about this insane circumstance, but he hasn’t. If anything, he goes out of his way to make sure I know I'm not in danger. I've never experienced that before, and I don't know how to handle it.

“Hey.” Serena says gently, trying to get my attention. “I’ve always treated you the same way.” I look back up to grab her hand on top of the table and squeeze it lightly.

“I know Ser, but you don’t have a penis, or want to fuck me. So it’s just a little different.”

“This is true. I don’t have a penis. However, if I did have one, I bet it would be huge.” I can’t help but huff out a chuckle.

“Oh, porn star large.” We laugh as I release her hand. “I do need to try and not be so compliant though. I've tried to add a little animosity to our interactions, but I always end up stalling out.”

“Hey, I say you keep trying. As long as it doesn’t piss him off. Wait, he’s not going to be mad that you’re out with me, is he?” Her face falls, and I know exactly what she’s thinking. Cooper hated Ser, and always tried to keep me away from her.

“No, he didn’t seem to be.” She squints her eyes at me in confusion. “I texted him, before we left, and told him where we were going. He said have fun, and that I’d see him tonight.” She grimaces.

“You compliant bitch.” We laugh. “That’s all he said?”

“Well, not all.” I show her the texts and she furrows her brows as she reads the message.

“I mean, creepy, but he doesn’t sound mad.”

“Exactly. I’m not even sure I could make him mad at this point. I was such a bitch last night. With Cooper, if I would’ve talked to him the way I did last night, I would’ve gotten a smack to the face. Damien? He massaged me, ate me out, and then asked if I was ‘done with my tantrum’.” I say as I count with my fingers, and her eyes widen again. Only sultrier this time.

“Oh shit, does he have any friends?” We laugh again, and it’s nice that she loosens up, no matter how slightly, to the thought of him.

“Just Carter that I know of, but if he has any single friends, I’ll let you know.”

The waitress comes over and takes our order. Of course, Ser ordered the damn onion rings anyway and our drinks. We started talking about some clients at work, her dad’s promotion, and she asked about lunch this week. I start giving her shit about the looks the bartender is giving her when I feel my phone buzz. So, I pull it out and look to see that Damien texted.

Damien:

You two look like you’re having fun.

I look around to see if he’s actually here watching. My heart is pounding so quickly now that I'm not sure if it’s out of fear or excitement. Which only scares me more.

“What is it?” She asks me and joins in my search around the room. I look up to a few booths in front of us, by the wall, to see a camera high up in the corner. It’s tilted in a direction that I wouldn’t expect, and of course, is pointed right at us. A sigh of relief slips through my lips as I lift my right hand up, stick my middle finger high, and flip it off. My mouth grinning as I do it. Ser furrows her brows at me, like I've lost my marbles. “What are you doing?”

“He can hack into security cameras. He is also apparently some kind of tech guru.” I whisper. “He can see us.” She starts looking around again and I look down to my phone. Seeing a new notification.

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