Page 99 of Cut Me Down

“Alright. Two hours. South Park Drive. Take your personal vehicle.”

“Got it.” Damien hangs up the phone and wraps his arm around my shoulders as he sits back on the couch.

“Are you sure about this, D?” Carter asks.

“No, but we have to work with what we got right now. Who has the bodies?”

“Duke, Aaron, and Graham.”

“Tell them to meet me with them and Cooper’s body at entry point C. Find out what you can on Tony and contact the moles. Get me footage on Dranan’s home.” Damien gives the order, leaving no room for argument.

“On it.” Carter briefly looks at me before he stands up and walks into the garage.

“Carter will stay here with you while I'm out. You'll be safe here.” I snap my head and look at him. He’s thinking about going out in this crazy shit?

“I don’t want you going.” I tell him sternly. The words fly out before I can stop them. His face sinks, and I know that he doesn’t really have a choice, but it doesn’t make this any easier.

“Ashia...”

“No!” I cut him off, standing up and turning to him as I point at the phone angrily. “You heard Tony, it’s crazy out there right now! Why can’t this wait!?”

“They’ll expect us to wait, baby, we have to do it now.” He retorts, trying to say it absolutely. Like there’s no room for an argument.

“No! You don’t! You can just stay here with me! Where I know you're safe!”

“Ash…” Serena cuts in, and I turn to look at her. I love her, but she needs to stay the hell out of my argument and not make me second guess myself when I voice how I feel.

“Don’t!” I yell at her and turn back to Damien. “Stay with me! Go when you've had more time to prepare, when you have more answers! What if something happens to you?” He stands up and pulls me close to him, holding me around the waist. I don’t push away, but I don’t melt into his embrace like I normally would. I’m so scared and worried about what could happen to him that I literally feel like I’m trying to claw out of my own body.

“They came after you, Ashia. I'm not waiting. I'll be okay.” He says reassuringly, but his words do anything but relieve my anxieties.

“You don’t know that!” I push away from him. Firmly planting my hands to his chest and shoving, but it doesn’t do any good. He doesn’t budge. “You were just in not one, but two car chases! One of your men just died! Your friend DIED last night! You're bruised and cut up from head to toe! Damien, please don’t go!” The emotional pain of what I just said explodes behind his eyes, and I grasp his face in my hands. “I don’t care if they came after me!”

“I do!” He yells back at me as he grabs my hands. “You have no idea what you mean to me, do you?” He shouts, and I can hear the slight crack in his voice. Breaking my heart along with it. “Not making it clear that I was the one that killed Cooper got you into this mess! I did that! I put you in harms way!” Does he really think this is his fault? I’d be dead if he didn’t save me. In more ways than one. “Now I'm going to fix it! And God dammit, Ashia, you are not going to do anything stupid! You’re going to stay here! Where I know YOU’RE safe! This is what I do!”

He leans closer to me and gently grabs my chin. Positioning our faces so they’re only an inch apart. Telling me that this is not negotiable. “I told you, I'm not a good man, and I'm not going to be, or stop what I do, just because you bat your pretty little eyes at me. They came for you, pointed a gun at your fucking head, and then threatened worse! You are my life, and they threatened you! You are every breath in my body. I live foryouand they were going to take you from me. Now they’re going to get a taste of this war they started.”

He forcefully lets go of my chin, turns, walks to the garage door, and slams the door on his way out. Causing the walls to rattle with the power. His eyes were filled with rage. Murderous rage, but I’ve never felt so loved and needed before. Because I understand that his anger isn’t towards me, it's over me. A part of me wants to run after him. Shove him back inside and make him hold me, but I can’t. I just stand here, trying to breathe, trying to hold back my tears, but all to no avail.

“Ash? Are you okay?” Serena asks quietly, and I turn to watch Damien speed down the driveway on his bike. My heart is pounding in my chest so loudly I can feel it in my temples, and my body feels shaky. I'm scared, terrified even, but not of him. I'm scared for him.

Chapter thirty-seven

Damien

‘Shepherd of Fire’ – Avenged Sevenfold

I hate leaving her like that. I about fell to my knees when she asked me to stay, but my anger took over when I saw the fear flash in her eyes. She’s terrified something will happen to me, and I never thought that through. What my line of work would do to her, cause for her. I don’t care how many circles of hell I have to pull myself back from, I can’t die on her. I'll have to get better. Be better. She’ll understand more when she’s safe, but for now I'm going to let my rage win.

I’ve made up my mind and waged a war with Dust, and they’ll feel every ounce of it. I'll gut them and line their properties with their intestines for the rest of them to see that they do not fuck with what’s mine. Ashia is mine, and I will burn this city, with their bodies at the stake, to make sure she’s safe. Dranan thinks he has a Sahara problem? He doesn’t know what I'm capable of yet. With the amount of supplies I took from The Basement, he’ll get a taste of what’s coming to him.

I have two pit stops before the others meet me, the first? Cut Me Down. Carter pulled up a live drone feed to show Emmett there looking over the damage. I’ve already called and paid for a professional crew to come clean up the mess, but with Ashia not going to be able to work for a while, he’ll need help. She’ll feel better knowing he and his family are taken care of.

I park a few blocks away in a small alley, and make my way up the fire escape. I feel like fucking Spiderman crawling around like this, but my guess is that both the police and Dust will be watching Cut Me Down to see if either myself or Ashia come back. I only have to cross two buildings before coming to Ashia’s, and then I just sneak in the window to the hallway. Carter knows to wipe the cameras already once I leave, thank God, because I'm not sure I'm thinking straight tonight.

I sneak down the hall and into her apartment to grab her bag that she packed, her wallet, her phone charger, Serena’s purse and phone, and Ashia’s birth control. I thought about leaving it, but I don’t want her to have to worry about anything else. The thought of her stomach swollen with my child brings me a sense of comfort, but she needs to process everything that’s happened, and she’ll worry too much if she doesn’t have it.

She’s known what I do, even seen it first hand, but nothing like today. I never wanted her to experience my life, our life, that way. What does she think of me now? Does she see me differently than she did last night? Is she repulsed by me? She may hate me now, but I won’t lose her. If she thinks she has any chance of escaping me, she’s wrong. I will do anything and everything to keep her by my side. Including tossing this bullshit prescription down the drain if necessary.

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