“How are you?”
I nuzzled my face into his shoulder. “I’m tired.”
“How are you feeling though? A lot has happened over the past week.”
“Has it only been a week?” I mumbled.
“Mihrra,” he coaxed as he moved his hand from my hip to comb through my loose hair. I loved that feeling, the way his touch was simultaneously thrilling and relaxing.
Knowing I couldn’t avoid it forever I said, “I’m alright.” It was a lie.
Velian pressed, “I’ll never forget how upset you were after Canderren, and you’ve been through a lot more than that this week.”
Instead of lying again, I stayed silent. My mind was bombarded by the face of every man I killed in turn; the horror warping the expression of the first man as he fell off the cliff, the bewilderment on the other man I stabbed, and the shock and disgust on Bomesson’s face as I sliced across his neck. The thought of it filled me with a glimmer of guilt now, but at the time, I’d really only felt relief, if not satisfaction even.
And Leoro—I felt some remorse, but was that the truth? Could I be honest about how the memory of the blood flowingout of his gaping throat filled me with sick pleasure, like justice had finally been served?
No,I told myself.It’s just relief that it’s all over.
Birds sang their evening songs and insects buzzed through the air as I contemplated my feelings.
“Areyouokay?” I asked.
His hand tightened on my knee. “No, I’m not.” I lifted my head from his chest to look at him, but his eyes were trained on the pink horizon. “Every time I close my eyes, even blink, I see you bleeding, kneeling on the ground with his hands around your throat, and I…” his voice lowered to a whisper, “I can’t do anything to save you. I have never been so afraid, and I don’t think I’ll get over it as long as I live.”
I was so tired of crying, but my throat tightened. I didn’t have any words to comfort him, so I placed my hand over his heart. Somehow his pain was easier to acknowledge than my own.
He cleared his throat and asked, “Do you want to talk about your father?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. It was too soon for that. Definitely too soon.
Velian’s hand moved to my waist, hugging me closer, then slid back down to my hip. We sat that way for a few breaths when Velian broke the silence.
“I still remember the first time I saw you.”
Thinking back to the moment we were introduced, I said around a yawn, “You do?”
“It was in Roben. I was the rider that helped you with your brother.”
I sat up straight. “I didn’t think you recognized me.”
“You knew?”
“Of course, I knew. I couldn’t forget you if I wanted to. Believe me, I tried.”
“What do you mean?” He frowned.
I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “After the ball. I didn’t think I could trust you.”
His frown deepened. “Do you trust me now?”
I mirrored his expression. “Absolutely. I love you, remember?”
His answering smile was radiant, the dimples emerging in full force. “I’ll never tire of hearing that. Not a single day has gone by since the moment I saw you that I haven’t thought about you.”
“Don’t tease me, Velian.”
“I mean it, not one day.”