Page 7 of A Rose Among Snakes

“What was that?” I snapped.

He cleared his throat. “Port Deering is the last place he went.”

I stayed silent and met his weary gaze.

“Was that intentional?”

I crossed my arms. “A little bit.”

Jem nodded his head and took a second biscuit from the plate. It was an encouraging sign that he had an appetite.

“I think you should go.”

My eyebrows lifted. “Want me gone that badly?”

He held my gaze, expression remaining sincere. “We deserve to know the truth about what happened to our father. And if there’s anyone who could figure it out, it’s you.”

I froze. Perhaps I had been underestimating my brother. “What makes you think I planned on looking into it?”

A spark lit in his eyes. “Because you’re a bossy know-it-all.”

“That’s my role as your older sister,” I retorted, but I rolled my lips together trying not to smile.

Jehiam stared at the biscuit in his hand, nostrils flaring. “And I know you hate not knowing how he died as much as I do.”Then he looked up at me and said, “Something we finally have in common.”

He grinned and the softening of his face eased the tension I was still carrying in my body from the day before. He took a piece of bacon and chewed on the end, the muscles in his jaw working. Observing the sharpness of his jawline and the angle of his heavy brow was jarring. Aside from Jehiam’s shaven face, the resemblance to our father was astounding, but I hadn’t noticed it until then.

Since my father's death, every milestone in my life had been tainted with grief. As it turned out, I’d had a piece of him with me the whole time in Jehiam, but I was too busy seeing him as nothing more than a troublesome little boy to notice; but I saw it then.

Under my scrutiny a flush bloomed high on his cheekbones, and he surprised me by saying, “I’m lonely, Mihrra.”

A pit of unease opened in my stomach, but I kept quiet and let him talk.

“I feel like he was the only one who ever truly saw me, and when he died… I felt abandoned. Mother had to start working and you took her place. I know the twins were only a year old and needed more attention, but I was nine. I still needed someone to look after me, too.”

Pieces of my heart crumbled, the dust drifting upward to catch in my throat. I had been harsh on him these last nine years. I figured since I had to grow up quickly, so did he and Ambrelle. But I had utterly failed him. My dream came back to me, my father’swords eerily fitting, as if my subconscious knew Jem’s behavior yesterday was my fault.

“I’m so sorry, Jem.” I choked back tears. “I’m sorry I let you down.” I couldn’t say more without crying.

“I’m eighteen, by the way,” he said in a low voice.

I sniffled, still internally berating myself and not quite catching his words. “What?”

“Earlier, you said I was seventeen, but I’m eighteen now. Yesterday was my birthday.”

The pit in my stomach yawned wide open.

He continued, his voice going hoarse, “I just wanted to be happy. That’s why I did it. I couldn’t think of any other way.”

We had planned Ambrelle’s wedding on Jehiam’s birthday. We all had forgotten him.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he repeated. “I just wanted to be happy.”

There was no helping it anymore. I got out of my chair and wrapped my arms around my little brother. We cried together, sharing honest emotions with each other for perhaps the first time in our lives.

Jehiam wiped his eyes and pulled back saying, “That’s why you need to go, Mihrra. We both deserve the truth.”

I sat in my chair again. “Jem, I can’t leave you all. Not like this. Not now.”

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