Page 30 of Courage, Dear Heart

Elliott: Show me.

Jillian: Almost toopretty to eat. Almost.

Elliott: Wow

Jillian: Your sister has outdone herself. Jamie loved the unicorn ones. Thank you again.

Elliott: Any time, Jillian.

THIRTEEN

Elliott

I glanceover at Jillian as I pull into the parking lot, barely able to contain my grin. “Surprised?”

A slow smile forms on her face as she figures out where we are. “The zoo? You brought us to the zoo?”

I nod, glancing back at Jamie in the rear seat. His eyes widen. His little mouth drops open and then splits into a huge grin. He stretches up to get a better view out the window. Seeing him like this—so excited—I know I made the right call.

I keep my tone casual, hoping to hide how much I’ve looked forward to this. “I wanted to pick a place Jamie would enjoy. I loved coming here when I was a kid.”

“We did too...” Her voice trails off as if she were speaking to herself. She meets my eyes with a touch of wonder in her gaze. “Thank you.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

I pull into a parking spot, and Jamie unlocks his seat belt.

“Wait for me,Jamie. I’ll get you.”

I open the door for Jamie and he hops out of the car, ready to take off. “Wait, Jamie.” I touch his shoulder to get his attention, bending at the waist so I’m at eye level. “It will be busy, lots of people. Make sure to stay close. It’s very easy to get lost, okay?”

When I look up, Jillian is standing at the car bumper, her head tilted as she watches us—watches me.

I lock the car. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take over. I’m used to watching my niece, and she’s a little escape artist and needs constant reminders not to run.”

She nods once. “No, that’s good. Glad you said it.”

A slow heat climbs up my chest, neck, and into my face as my heart rate picks up like it thinks I’m doing sprints. I’m like a child longing for approval, and her nod and words gave me that.

I clear my throat and press the fob to lock the car. Again.

Jillian takes Jamie’s hand and I take a spot on the other side, with Jamie between us, giving her space and keeping true to my promise. This is not a date, no matter how much I want it to be.

As we make our way to the entrance, Jamie goes on tippy-toes, trying to look around the people in line ahead of us. “Jillian?”

She smiles and for a moment I forget what I was about to say.

I nod at Jamie. “Can I give him a lift? Get him on my shoulders?”

Instead of answering me, she asks her son, “Jamie, do you want to go on Elliott’s shoulders? So you can be up high and see everything?”

Jamie lets go of her hand and without hesitation lifts hisarms for me to pick him up. He looks up at me with so much trust, it touches something inside—something I can’t name. I lift him to my shoulders, and he holds on to my forehead. Jillian is grinning and I watch her, creating a memory, taking everything in. The way her hair blows in the breeze, how her lips widen in a smile. She’s without subterfuge. No affectation. Simple in the way she carries herself and yet so much more appealing than any woman I’ve ever met, with their thousand-dollar haircuts, expensive clothing, and designer bags. She looks better than any of them in jean shorts, a pink T-shirt, and sneakers. And I bet the small backpack she’s carrying is filled with snacks and bottles of water for Jamie.

Her gaze finds mine and her smile falters for a moment and returns. Genuine. And for me this time.

We walk with Jamie pointing and giving us directions to where he wants to go first. He guides us to the Congo gorilla forest. He taps the top of my head and points down. I lower myself to the ground and lift him up and then down. Jamie runs to the glass panes.

A baby gorilla walks up to the window and puts both of its hands flat against it. Jamie does the same. Their hands are surprisingly similar in size. The baby gorilla sticks its tongue out and Jamie mimics it. The gorilla grins and seems to laugh, and Jamie grins with it.

The people around us smile. Laughter bursts out of Jillian—the sound tentative, almost afraid, seems to catch her by surprise. It’s as if she’s startled by her own joy. And it’s beautiful.

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