Page 31 of Courage, Dear Heart

Jamie looks up at her. His face lights up and he throws himself at her. Jillian barely has time to catch him. Her laughcomes out easier now, more natural, and even more beautiful. It’s a sound of letting go.

The drum of a quiet thrill settles in my chest. I helped create this moment for them. I take a step closer to her. “Having fun?”

She looks at me, something softening in her eyes, and gives a small nod. “Thank you for this,” she whispers. “I didn’t realize how much Jamie and I needed this—needed to step outside our routine. He’s so happy.”

I smile, feeling warmth settle in my chest. “I might be enjoying this as much as he is. It’s been a while since I came here last. Maybe a year or two, with my sisters and niece.”

We wander through the exhibits, Jamie leading the way as we follow. I ruffle Jamie’s hair. “What would you like to see next?”

Jamie looks up at his mother, eyes wide, a silent question in his eyes.

She kneels in front of him. “Yes, you can pick whatever you want. The zoo is really big, though, so let’s look at the map and plan our route.”

Jamie points at the Wild Asia Monorail. Of course all little boys love trains.

We make our way around the park, stopping at different exhibits on our way to the monorail, Jamie leading the way. We pass families of all sizes, and I can’t help but think how the three of us blend in with them. Anyone looking at us would think we were together. Her gaze travels from family to family—a pensive expression on her face. Is she thinking the same?

Jillian’s hand brushes against mine and I fight the urge totake it, but she surprises me when she laces her fingers with mine, the touch light.

Jamie makes a beeline for the lions, and we follow a few paces behind. Jillian takes pictures of Jamie and the animals. The lion exhibit is crowded, so we take a few steps back and allow the children to get closer to the fencing.

Jamie comes back to us, his gaze bouncing back and forth between Jillian and me. He makes a sign to take a picture, and Jillian grabs her phone and points at him. Jamie shakes his head and holds out a hand.

Jillian tilts her head. “You want to take the picture yourself?”

He nods, and she gives him the phone. But instead of running back to the lions, he takes a few steps back and points the phone at Jillian and me. Her mouth drops open.

“You want to take a picture of us?”

He holds his right hand up in a fist and bobs it up and down. I know it’s ASL for yes because I looked up a few common words.

Surprise shows on Jillian’s face as she watches Jamie. He tilts his head back and rolls his eyes, and I laugh.

Jamie waves with his free hand in a clear gesture for Jillian and me to get closer together. She stands near me, but Jamie keeps waving at us to get closer and closer until we’re finally touching shoulder to shoulder. But this is still not enough for him. Jamie crosses his arms over his chest, fists touching his shoulders—ASL for a hug—a clear suggestion even for someone like me who doesn’t know American Sign Language well or at all.

Jillian raises an eyebrow.

I smile. “Well, let’s not make the young man wait any longer.” I put an arm around her back, keeping the touch light. I don’t want to invade her space or make her feel like I’m taking advantage of the situation. She tenses for the briefest of moments and then relaxes into me. Her closeness and floral scent fill my head with want. I tamper it down. She needs to know she’s safe with me. That they both are and I’m nothing like that asshole in her store. She looks up at me and smiles.

Jamie runs back to us and hands her the phone. I wasn’t prepared for what the image showed. My arm around her, my hand on her waist. Her hand over mine—us looking at each other and smiling. I don’t even remember my hand going to her waist or hers covering mine. I was completely lost in the moment.

Jillian gives me the phone for a closer look. I stare at it for several seconds. “He has a future in photography. That’s a great picture. Can you send it to me?”

Her gaze searches my face. “You want a picture of us?”

“Is that okay? You don’t have to.”

She takes the phone back. “No, that’s fine.” A smile comes to her lips and a moment later my phone beeps. I want to grab it and stare at the picture some more, but I pat my pocket instead, making sure my phone is there.

As we move through the zoo, Jamie points excitedly toward the Wild Asia Monorail. He signs to Jillian, who nods, and we start making our way over.

After walking for a couple of hours, I can tell Jamie is slowing down. “Who’s hungry?”

His arm shoots up.

“Jillian?”

“I could eat.”

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