Page 48 of Courage, Dear Heart

He smiles and his little chest puffs out.

“Can I play too?”

He gives me a brown horse and several fence pieces.

I sit on the floor and build a corral. “You know, I think I had this same set when I was around your age.”

Within minutes, we have built a farm on the table. A pen holding cows and another with chickens. A little log house too. Jamie surveys my work as his horse trots around mycorral. He nods and gives me a thumbs-up. And then brings his right hand to his chin and forward.

“I don’t know that one yet. Can you spell it?”

He grins and spells G O O D with his hand.

I smile. “Thank you. I’m glad you think it’s good.” I follow the wordgoodwith the sign I learned from him.

The floor creaks and I look up. Jillian’s standing a few feet away, a hand covering her mouth. I glance at Jamie, and he hasn’t noticed his mother. I stand up and pat his shoulder. “Be right back, buddy.”

I walk to Jillian and whisper, “What is it?”

She shakes her head, hand still covering her mouth, looks up, and blinks a few times. Then nods toward the hall. I follow her.

She stops at an open door. I peek inside. My gaze lands on the king-sized bed. Her bedroom. This is the bed she sleeps on. I’m an intruder in her space, but knowing this doesn’t stop the need growing inside me. I force myself to look back at her and stomp down the stray thoughts, trying to take over my brain after seeing her bed.

She touches me, her hand on my chest. My heart bucks like the wild horses I was playing with. But my heart is not a toy. And neither is hers. This is not a game. I don’t want to be the rebound guy.

She looks up at me. “You’re talking to him in sign language.”

I shrug. Like it’s not a big deal. Like I haven’t spent hours watching videos and practicing.

Her slender fingers splay across my chest, and a jolt of heat floods through me, igniting a primal response that catches me off guard. It’s more than a simple touch. Thepress of her fingertips holds a tenderness that sets my heart racing.

“Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it. Jamie doesn’t have many people to talk to.”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, don’t diminish what you did—what you’re doing—it’s not nothing. ASL is not easy to learn. It takes a lot of time and commitment, and you took the time to do it for him. For me. So thank you.” Her hand presses harder into my chest and I can’t help but wonder if she feels the same way, if her heart beats as fast as mine, if she feels this spark that threatens to consume me.

Somewhere in the kitchen, an alarm goes off. Jillian goes on tiptoes, kisses me on the cheek, and then walks away. I stay there, reeling at the feel of her lips on my skin. I’m so far gone.

My head is spinning. Jillian’s words and her touch have turned my brain to mush. I’m feeling things for this woman I didn’t know I was capable of. I look at her and I see a future together. I see her belly growing with our child. And Jamie as a big brother, talking again. I’ve never wanted marriage and a family before. It’s a strange sensation, one that leaves me both excited and terrified.

I take a deep breath and follow the heavenly scent toward the kitchen. Jillian is at the counter, cutting up thick slices of what looks like home-baked bread. She’s so beautiful and peaceful in this moment, unaware of my presence. I stand here for a few seconds, watching her until she finally notices me leaning on the wall.

Her cheeks flush with color. “Thanks again for playing with Jamie. He’s obsessed with those little horses.”

“I loved playing with those toys as a kid, too. Brought back memories.”

She steals a glance at me through her long lashes and grabs a tub of Irish butter.

“Can I help with anything?”

She glances around the kitchen. “Can you set the table? Everything is over there.” She points to a corner of the counter.

“Sure.” I grab the placemats, dishes, and silverware.

Jamie has moved to the dining table and is standing at the corner. Five toy horses form a half-circle in front of him.

I set everything in the center of the table and then grab the placemats. “Hey, are they eating dinner with us too? I’ll need to get more plates then.”

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