Page 53 of Courage, Dear Heart

I lean back into my chair and let my gaze drift away, lost in the memory of our dinner three nights ago. “It was fun. I enjoyed myself, and Jamie was so happy. It was almost like having my little boy back again.” I turn my gaze to her. “I like him.”

Sheila lets out a happy squeal and claps her hands together. “Oh, Jillian. I’m so happy for you. Tell me more, please.”

I give in to her enthusiasm. “He came over right on time, brought wine and cupcakes. And get this, he even brought a little bag of bird biscuits for Daisy.”

Her mouth drops open. “That boy is not holding back on trying to win you over.”

“Is that too nice? I’m not used to people being that nice to me.”

“Hey!”

I wave at her with my cup of coffee. “You know what I mean. My parents were always stingy with gifts and praise. CJ was generous but forgetful. He’d do anything you asked, but he’d be blind to the obvious sometimes.”

Sheila scrunches her nose. “I still remember the dirty dish experiment. How long was it that he left it there?”

I laugh. I can laugh at it now, but then I was furious. “Ten days. For ten days, he left that plate with an apple core on it sitting on his nightstand. Who does that? I figured it would take him a day or two to remember he left it there. I mean, he saw it every day. And the only reason he actually noticed it was because he was reaching for his glasses andknocked everything over. Then he looked at me like the plate manifested itself.”

She shakes her head. “It’s that Y chromosome. Some men are like that. Something can be right in front of their faces, and they still can’t see it.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think Elliott is like that. He seems like the kind of guy who pays attention to every detail. I’m not comparing them. It’s not fair to Elliott or CJ—he can’t defend himself. But death has the strange effect of turning lost loved ones into saints, making us forget they were human and flawed like everyone else.” The ability to acknowledge that CJ was not perfect surprises me. Since we were kids, I held on to him like I was drowning, and he was my lifesaver. And I kept doing it even after he died. I put him on a pedestal. I forgot he was just a man. And I’m a woman who needs to learn how to swim.

Sheila wiggles her eyebrows and follows it with a sly smile.

I put a finger up. “Nope, we’re not going there. Keep those dirty thoughts in your head.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re no fun. Go on, he came in bearing gifts, then what?”

I tell her everything that happened and reliving those moments makes me feel lighter somehow.

Sheila drops back into her chair. “Whoa. That’s . . . I don’t even know what to say. That’s a lot of commitment. Especially when you two just met and are not even officially dating.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Or are you official now?”

“I don’t think so, but I guess we may be heading in thatdirection. He asked me to spend the Fourth of July with him at his family’s house upstate.”

“Whoa. He sprang that on you out of nowhere?

I take a sip of my coffee. “No, it wasn’t like that. Jamie was playing with his toy horses and during dinner we talked about how Jamie loves horses, and he wants to learn to ride, and I’ve been looking at different options for him. Elliott’s family has a ranch upstate, and they have horses. He suggested if I can take a few days off, we could go up there the weekend before the Fourth of July and come back the day after.”

“Are you going to do it?”

I reach for a chocolate croissant. “I don’t know. I told him I had to check into it. Not sure I can leave the store for so long.”

“You should go.” Sheila takes a long drink of her coffee. “I can watch Daisy.”

I take a bite, savoring the flakiness of the pastry and the rich, dark chocolate filling. “He said to bring her.”

“Are you scared of meeting his family?”

“No, he said his family only goes up there for Thanksgiving and Christmas. His grandma lives there and apparently, there’s staff. A housekeeper and cook and someone to take care of the grounds and horses.”

She reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers. “You should go. It’s been ages since you had a break. I can pitch in at the store too.”

“Gosh, I want to. Is it crazy that I want to go? I barely know him. But he’s so good with Jamie. It feels right, and it scaresthe heck out of me.”

She sits back. “No, it’s not crazy. I don’t even know the guy andIwant to go.”

I smile. “We need to rectify that. Plan something so you two can meet.”

She nods, eyes narrowing. “Yes, we need to do that. He’s been wooing you for what? A month now? Longer? It’s time he gets the best-friend check.”

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