Page 54 of Courage, Dear Heart

“Oh, no. I know that look on your face. There will be no interrogation. You’re not going to put him on the spot.”

She tilts her head back. “Sheesh. You’re acting like I’m gonna do a full-body cavity search. A few innocent questions won’t hurt.”

“Ha! I know how your innocent questions go. No, Sheila. Promise me. Be normal, please.”

Her hands go up. “This is my normal.”

“Okay, then. Be abnormal. Be someone else. Be me. No intrusive questions. I don’t need to know his body count or how big his you-know-what is.”

Her face breaks into a huge smile. “I have a feeling you’ll find out how big his you-know-what is soon enough.”

I throw a balled-up napkin at her. A long-neglected part of me coils inside, ready to explode. I can’t ignore the thrill and tingle of anticipation at her words.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Jillian

The North Woodsare quieter than I expected for Father’s Day. The tall trees sway gently in the summer breeze, their leaves filtering the sunlight into scattered patterns across the forest floor. It’s peaceful here—an oasis in the chaos of the city.

I walk the path alone, thankful Sheila is watching Jamie for me. One day when he’s older, I’ll bring him with me. But for now, this would be too much for him, I think.

I stop near the stream, find the flat rock, and climb on it. The same rock where I sat that day—the day I scattered his ashes. The day I said goodbye to CJ. It feels both like a lifetime ago and like yesterday. My breath catches, a lump forming in my throat.

I lower myself and sit down, my gaze fixed on the stream, the water trickling softly over the stones. The rock feels warm under my palm as I trace its rough surface. CJ loved this place. He used to tell me it felt like a little slice of magic in themiddle of the city.

I close my eyes and surrender to the lullaby of the stream and the wind in the trees. The world is rushing all around me—it waits for no one. But here, in this little slice of magic, time stands still.

I open my eyes, stand up, and walk to the water’s edge. “I met someone. He makes me laugh.” A sob escapes. “He’s kind and gentle.”

Tears stream down my face. “And he’s so good with Jamie. I think you would have liked him, too.”

I wipe at my face. “I miss you so much, CJ.” I bend down and pick up a rock, hold it in my hand for a moment and then throw it into the stream with more force than necessary. “A part of me hates that you made me promise you I’d find someone else if something happened to you. But I understand it. I wouldn’t want you to be alone either.”

I pick up another rock, my vision blurred by tears, and hold it in my closed hand. “I’m trying. I’m trying to move forward and give him—give me a chance.”

I open my palm, ready to toss this rock into the river and stop. A choked laugh bursts out of me. The rock is perfectly shaped into a heart.

The bittersweet ache of love, loss, and gratitude hits me all at once, and I smile through the tears.

“Happy Father’s Day, CJ,” I whisper into the breeze and put the rock into my pocket.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Elliott

When I getto the office, all hell is breaking loose. Loud voices can be heard down the hall. My father, my uncles, and Joshua, all talking over each other. I’m glad I don’t have to walk past my father’s office to get to mine. I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever my father is so angry about. It’s then that I catch my cousin Nikki smirking. She winks at me.

Oh shit!

I point down the hall and mouth, “Did you do that?”

She nods. They confronted my father and uncle.

I bite back a laugh so I don’t give myself away and close my office door, then get on the phone. I’ll fill up my morning with as many calls as I can and paperwork. Look busy and hope they leave me out of it.

Not ten minutes later, my father’s barging through the door. No knocking for him, ever. He shuts it with a loud bang.

I raise my hand in awhat the fuckgesture and point at the phone I’m holding against my ear and continue to talk like I don’t have a care in the world.

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