Page 65 of Courage, Dear Heart

“Yes, since high school. The three of us, my sisters and I are very close. We knew everything about each other. It’s always been us against him.”

She tilts her head. “And your mom, where does she stand in all of this?”

“Mom is compliant to his face and does whatever she wants behind his back. She doesn’t confront him but also never really protected us from him. She’d try to comfort us after, but it did little to reassure us as young kids. It was confusing. We learned to rely on each other instead. And Grace. We loved coming up here and spending summers and holidays.”

“I can see why. It’s beautiful and Grace is wonderful.” Jillian squeezes my hand, her eyes soft and thoughtful. “You’re a good brother.”

Before I can respond, Jamie stops ahead of us, pointing toward a break in the trees. We catch up, climbing the small hill. This view never fails to take my breath away. A clear lake stretches below us, its surface reflecting the sky like a perfect mirror.

“It’s beautiful,” Jillian whispers, pulling out her phone to take pictures.

Jamie stands with Nero, his little figure silhouetted against the backdrop. Jillian snaps a photo, then laughs as Nero licks Jamie’s cheek.

And then it happens.

Jamie squeals, a clear, unmistakable sound of joy that echoes through the trees.

I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. Jillian’s phone slips from her hand as she covers her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks. She goes down to her knees.

Jamie made a sound—the echo of it lingering in the air like it can stop time.

I look down at her, my chest tightening, and in that moment, everything feels raw, overwhelming. And if it feels that way for me, I can’t even imagine what it feels like for her.

I kneel beside her and hold her as we watch Jamie find his voice again.

THIRTY-FIVE

Jillian

I blink back tears,overwhelmed. Disbelief trying to take over. Did I hear him? Did this really happen? Did my son make a sound—the first in two long years of silence since the accident that took his father? It wasn’t words. The sound was an involuntary response, but to me it might as well have been a symphony. Shock and elation course through me in equal measure. A sob gets stuck in my throat.

I go to my knees. “Did he . . .”

Elliott’s hand comes to my shoulder and squeezes it. “He did.”

Jamie turns back to Nero, burying his hands in the dog’s thick fur. Nero pants happily as Jamie scratches behind his ears, his small fingers working through the tangles. Neither of us speaks as we watch him.

I try to suck in a breath, keep a hold of myself, don’t show the emotions churning inside my chest. Remember what the therapist said.“He’ll talk again one day. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Let it happen naturally,on his own terms.”

Elliott bends down and picks up my phone, then pulls me up too. His arm wraps around my waist, holding me up on my feet. “Breathe, Jillian. Slow breaths.”

I massage my chest in an attempt to dislodge the trapped air in my lungs. Try to speak, but it’s my turn to be voiceless. No sounds come out.

Elliott pulls me into his chest and squeezes me into an embrace, and in that safe space of his arms, I’m finally able to breathe. My head pressed to Elliott’s heart, the sound of its beats in my ear, and my gaze fixed on Jamie as he picks up a stick and plays with Nero. Was it just timing? Would Jamie start making sounds and talking again had we been home? Or is it being here? Getting away from the city, the place that held the best of our memories but also the saddest ones too? Or is it simply the magic that happens between a boy and a dog?

I’m not sure, but something inside me tells me if I had refused Elliott’s invitation, Jamie would have still been as silent as ever.

“Oh my God.” The words leave my lips in a whisper.

Elliott’s hand rubs circles on my back. “How do we respond?”

I shake my head. “Don’t call attention to it. I’m not sure he even realizes what happened.”

“Okay, we’ll go with the flow.”

I break away from Elliott’s embrace and wipe my eyes. “I think I need to get that dog faster than I intended.”

Elliott laughs. “Sorry, you can’t have Nero. He’d go crazy in an apartment.”

---