Page 73 of Courage, Dear Heart

Grace joins us with all the fixings to make s’mores. We get long sticks for the marshmallows and flames flare around the gooey treat. I help Jamie assemble his. He’s in heaven. I can’t remember the last time I saw my son this happy.

Elliott passes us each a bottle of water to wash down the sweetness.

The four of us sit around the fire andtalk. Jumping from subject to subject. Grace tells me more stories about Elliott, and I share some about myself, my life in New York, the flower shop.

Jamie’s small body leans against mine. His eyelids grow heavy, his chest rises and falls in rhythm with his soft snores, and I can’t help but marvel at how happy he looks, even in his sleep.

Elliott stands and kneels in front of me. “Do you want me to take him to bed?”

“I can do it.”

“Stay. I can tuck him in and be right back. Enjoy the night.”

I hesitate, then nod. He scoops Jamie into his arms, the boy barely stirring, and carries him into the house. I watch them go until they disappear inside. When I turn back to the fire, Grace is watching me. “He’s having such a good time. I can’t thank you enough for opening your home for us.”

She shakes her head. “No thanks needed. I’m always happy to have Elliott at home. And he’s happy, too. I haven’t seen him this content and carefree in a long time. I should be thanking you for giving my grandson a reason to visit.”

I smile. “Oh, I don’t know about that. He speaks highly of you. He loves this place. I don’t think he needed me as an excuse to come up.”

Her only response is to raise an eyebrow. Then she gets up and starts collecting the remainder of our snack. I start to get up to help her, but she puts a hand up. “No, stay, enjoy a few minutes of solitude. These old bones need something more comfortable to lie on. I’ll keep an ear out for Jamie.”

Once alone, I look up. Stars scatter across the sky like a blanket of lights. More than I’ve ever seen in the city. I sighand allow my eyes to close. My muscles ache in an unexpected but good way. Horseback riding works muscles in a different way. My belly is full, and the heat from the firepit lulls me into a stupor. The crickets and night creatures continue to serenade me. I could get used to this.

I start to doze off when there’s movement next to me. I open my eyes to find Elliott sitting in the spot Jamie vacated.

He puts an arm around the back of the chair, his fingers brushing my shoulder. “He’s all tucked in. I think he’ll sleep through the night. He got a lot of exercise today.”

The warmth of his body next to mine competes with the heat from the fire. “I joke that I walk miles inside the flower shop, but it’s nothing like this—being out in the mountains, hiking, riding. I had a fantastic day. We both did. You’re good with him.”

“I’m glad. I had fun too.” His gaze flits all over my face and fixes on my mouth. I lick my lips in an involuntary response, the memory of that kiss taking center stage in my mind.

He makes a husky sound in the back of his throat. Half groan, half moan.

My pulse speeds up.

And before I know we’re coming together, his hand goes to my hair. He pulls me closer as his mouth slants over mine. This is not a gentle, tentative kiss. It’s hungry, urgent, needy. A tangle of tongues, lips, and hands grasping at each other. We kiss like starving, wild animals pouncing on prey, taking our fill until we grow dizzy with the need for air. We break apart but stay connected by arms and hands tangled in each other. Our breaths coming in short and shallow inhales. Myheart beating so loud in my ears it drowns out the sounds of the night.

We stay like that for minutes that feel like hours until we’re no longer gasping for air and my heart resumes its steady pace. I pull back a few inches. Our gazes meet. I’m at a loss for words.

Elliott’s thumb caresses my lower lip. “That was . . . fucking phenomenal.”

My cheeks burn, not from the heat of the fire, but from Elliot’s devilish choice of words and the deep, intimate tone he delivers them in.

He settles back beside me, our arms and legs touching. I stare into the flickering fire, a riot of emotions swirling inside me. “Thank you for taking care of Jamie.”

Elliott takes my hand. “He’s a great kid. I like him. And I like his mom a lot.”

I blink. “He likes you, too.”

His thumb grazes over my knuckles. “And his mom?”

I don’t meet his eyes, coward that I am. “His mom likes you, too.”

Elliott laces my fingers with his. Turns in the seat to look at me. “I want this, Jillian. Whatever this is. I want it with you and Jamie.”

I chance a glance at him. The firelight flickers across his face, shadows dancing in his eyes. “I do too. But I’m scared.”

“You’re scared of getting hurt again. Not only you. Jamie too.” It’s not a question.

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