Page 80 of Courage, Dear Heart

All too fast, we’re standing in front of my flower shop. A customer leaves the store and the sweet fragrance of flowers follows her carried on a wave of cool air before the door closes and we’re surrounded once again by the July heat and the smell of car exhaust and hot concrete.

“I’ll help you carry everything upstairs. Do you want to go through the store?”

I shake my head. “No, let’s go through the side door. I don’t want to disturb any customers.” Or get the curious looks of my employees.

After we’re all settled, Jamie signs that he wants a snack and walks into the kitchen. The moment he leaves, the air shifts,heavy and charged. Elliott and I stand there, the space between us crackling with unspoken desire. My living room feels impossibly small, his presence overwhelming, his gaze locked on mine. Neither of us moves, neither speaks, but the heat between us is palpable, the kind that makes it impossible to ignore what we both know—if Jamie weren’t here, nothing would be holding us back.

Elliott tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “Walk me downstairs?”

“Sure.”

“Bye, Jamie,” Elliott calls in the direction of the kitchen.

Jamie walks back with a bag of chips under one arm and a bag of Oreos under the other. An Oreo stuffed in his mouth. Jamie runs to Elliott, and he kneels down, arms open to embrace Jamie, snacks and all. Elliott gives him a hug and ruffles his hair.

“See you soon, buddy.”

I laugh. “Oh, Jamie. Not too many. Save some room for dinner, okay?”

Jamie nods and goes to the couch.

Elliott stands, holding out a hand for me. I lace my fingers with his and we walk downstairs, our shoulders bumping even though the stairs are wide enough to easily accommodate three people side by side.

We stop at the landing. Sunlight paints shapes on the tiled floors through the glass and iron bars on the door. I look up at him. “Thank you again. For everything.”

Elliott traces the curve of my cheek with the back of two fingers. The touch, light and yet intimate, sends shivers down my spine.

“Thank you for coming with me and trusting me. I knowthis is hard for you. I know you have more than yourself to worry about. And I know Jamie will always come first. That’s the way it should be. I don’t mind playing second in your life if I can be a part of it.”

“I want you to be a part of my life, too. But I’m not exactly sure how to do this. I’ve never really dated anyone before. With my husband, we were always together.”

He smiles. “We’ll figure it out.” Then he leans into me and my body melts into his without hesitation. Our lips meet. Wordless messages pass between us. Promises of more to come. We kiss until my body is vibrating and I’m out of breath. Elliott pulls back, his forehead touching mine. One more gentle kiss on my forehead and he leaves.

The Food Debate

Elliott: If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Jillian: Tacos. Easy. You?

Elliott: I was going to say pizza, but now I want tacos too.

Jillian: Pancakes or waffles?

Elliott: Waffles. No contest.

Jillian: Wrong answer.

Elliott: Excuse me??

Jillian: Pancakes are the superior breakfast food. Fluffy, warm, perfect.

Elliott: Waffles are pancakes with abs. They have the wellsto hold the syrup.

Jillian: You say that because you haven’t tried my pancakes yet.

Elliott: If you make them, I’ll eat them.

FORTY-THREE

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