Page 81 of Courage, Dear Heart

Elliott

Guilt has been nibblingat my conscience for the last few weeks. Since I finally opened that folder my father had Margaret drop on my desk. I’ve been harboring a terrible secret. It’s time I come clean before we move forward. Before I allow Jillian to go in deeper with me. She needs to know.

I hate the idea of hurting her. But this needs to be done.

I walk into the store at exactly nine, seconds after Jillian unlocks the door, the bell above making my presence known.

She turns and her face breaks into a smile as soon as she sees me. “What are you doing here so early?”

I lean in and give her a chaste kiss. “I thought I’d stop by on my way to the office. Say hello and invite you over for dinner tonight.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

I smile, looking past her. “Yes. Where’s Jamie?”

“Oh, he’s at camp. He’d get terribly bored spending all summer in the store. I set up a few different activities for himuntil school starts again. For the next two weeks, he’s at a Lego camp for a few hours each day.”

I grin. “Sign me up for that, too. I loved Legos growing up. Still do.”

She nibbles her lower lip. “This dinner, is it for the two of us?”

“I’d like that. Do you think you can find a sitter for Jamie on such short notice?”

A touch of pink colors her cheeks. “I think so. I’ll ask Sheila and let you know for sure.”

“That works.”

We stand there for several seconds more and as I’m about to kiss her again, the doorbell jingles. Angela comes in, followed by one of Jillian’s part-time employees. Kim? Karen? K something.

Angela holds a cardboard tray with three coffees. “Oh, sorry. If I had known you were here, I would have gotten some for you too.”

I shake my head. “Thanks. This was a surprise visit, and I have to go.” I fix my gaze on Jillian.

She tilts her head to the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

We walk to the corner, a few yards past the storefront. “Is seven okay for me to pick you up?”

She stuffs her hands in the back pockets of her floral overalls. “I think so. I’ll text to confirm.”

I tug at the shoulder strap. “You were wearing this the first time I saw you.”

Her eyes widen. “I was? And you remember it?”

Heat fills every inch of my body. “Jillian, I remember everything about you.”

Her lips part with a small gasp, and I lean in, swallow thesound. Place a hand on her waist and the other behind her head, tilt her face up to me so I can go in deeper. She melts into me, taking and giving, tasting me as I taste her.

The sounds of the city surround us, sirens hailing, cars beeping, dogs barking. I shut it all out for this moment. But this is not the place and I have a confession to make before I allow either one of us to go further.

I pull back and kiss her forehead, lingering for several seconds. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Then I walk away and don’t look back because if I do, there’s no saying what I’ll do.

FORTY-FOUR

Elliott

I stepup to Jillian’s door, smoothing a hand over my shirt, not because it’s wrinkled but because my nerves have a way of creeping in at the most inconvenient times. I’m not sure why I’m so keyed up—it’s not like this is my first date ever. But with Jillian? It feels different. Bigger.

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