Page 84 of Courage, Dear Heart

“You’re not a child, Elliott. At some point, you have to decide who and what you want to align yourself with. There isn’t enough room in this relationship for both me and your father.”

She called me on it. Told me to grow a pair and make a decision.

“You, I choose you.”

She sighs, her shoulders dropping as the air leaves her body, her gaze somewhere on the floor. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. This is not an ultimatum. I can’t make you choose between me and your family. Or between me and your job.” Her gaze finds me. “It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair of me to even ask.”

I step closer until I’m within touching distance. “You have every right to ask me to make a decision about something that affects you and your livelihood. I choose you. Over and over again. But”—I inch closer, fisting my hands in my pockets to keep from touching her—“as much as I want to quit, I can’t. Not until I’m thirty-five and—” I don’t want to bring money and the trust into this conversation. It feels like throwing my wealth into her face when she’s been struggling to support herself and Jamie all on her own. “It’s complicated.”

Her expression softens. “I won’t ask you why. It’s beenclear to me you don’t like working with your father, but you’re not free to walk away. I trust that you’ll tell me when the time is right. But the question remains. What’s next?”

Lightness flutters in my chest, but I’m afraid to hope. Does this mean she forgives me?

“I hate myself for being an unwilling part of the pain my firm caused you. I can’t undo what my father’s done. I can’t change what they put you through. But I can promise you this—I’m not on their side. I’m on yours.”

She faces me. Her arms drop to her sides. Her eyes are sad now, but she’s not shedding any tears over my betrayal. “How do I know that? How can I trust you after this?”

“Because I lo—care about you.” The words tumble out before I can think to stop them. Her eyes widen, and I step closer, desperate now. “I care about you, Jillian. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone before. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I’m on your side. If that means walking away from my father, my job, everything, then I’ll do it. Just—just don’t shut me out.”

She stares at me, her lips trembling, her eyes searching mine for something. For what, I don’t know. But then, slowly, she gets closer and places a hand on my chest.

“I care about you, Elliott.” Her voice is like a balm for my aching heart. “And I believe you. I believe that you’re not like your father. But this”—she gestures between us—“if this is to work, there can be no more secrets. No more lies.”

“Never again. I want a chance to make it right. To earn back your trust.” For a moment, we stand there, the tension between us still heavy but no longer suffocating.

Her hand drops from my chest. “I’m not doing this foryou.” Her gaze is locked on mine. “I’m doing it for me. For Jamie. Because I want to move forward. With you.”

The rush of relief nearly knocks me off my feet. “I won’t let you down. I’ll stand with you.”

She looks up at me, her eyes searching mine, and though the hurt is still there, there’s something else too—hope. And for now, that’s enough.

“Even if standing with me means going against your father and your family?”

“Not against my family, just my father.”

“It could cost you your job.”

“There are other jobs. But only one of you.”

FORTY-FIVE

Jillian

Only one of me.The only other person to choose me over everything else was CJ. And now Elliott. And I believe him. I don’t think he’s lying or trying to get on my good side so I’ll convince Leonora to sell and give in, eventually. I won’t do it. And I have to hope that Leonora will hold strong too. The store and the apartment hold the best moments of my life. It’s so filled with memories, if it were to be taken away from me, I fear there would be nothing left but millions of holes where my soul should be.

“Do you want to stay? I’ll call for dinner. Or I can walk you home. If you need some space, I understand.”

I walk back to the bar stool and sit down. “I’ll stay. And I want Mexican food. From Frijoles.” I name one of the top Mexican restaurants in the city. A very expensive restaurant. “I want one of everything and you’re buying.” My voice is petulant.

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he moves closer to me, the gap closing with each step. He turns the chairaround so I’m facing him fully and braces himself on the counter behind me. He deposits a chaste kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes and inhale his scent. Soap and shampoo and something uniquely him. I tilt my head up and offer my lips. Elliott steps in closer and his mouth is on mine. Gentle, probing, asking for permission. I open for him. The tenderness only lasts a moment before it becomes more. More urgent, more needy, more intense. Our lips tangle, and our tongues dance with each other, taking, giving, tasting. My pulse accelerates. We kiss and kiss and kiss. But our hands never stray to touch each other. Mine firmly planted in my lap, and him bracing on the counter still caging me.

His restraint feels like self-punishment for keeping this secret from me. I should be angry. But I’m not. I understand all too well wanting to hide. Wanting to keep secrets you believe will hurt others. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing for the last two years? Hiding and lying to myself and everyone I know? Telling them I was okay when I wasn’t? Except that it’s no longer a lie. I am okay. I’ve been okay for the last few weeks. Since Elliott entered my life. And I promised myself I wouldn’t cower and run. This is me not hiding anymore. Not running.

When we finally break away, our chests are heaving, chasing air we forgot to breathe. He touches his forehead to mine and then steps back. Reaches for his phone. “I’ll call. One of everything. But we’re splitting the leftovers.”

I laugh and cover his hand with mine before he has a chance to dial. “Let me look at the menu first. Maybe not one of everything. But definitely tres leches cake for dessert.”

“We’ll get the food. And then we’ll talk strategies to stopmy father and make sure there’s nothing he can do to force the owner to sell the building.”

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