Page 91 of Courage, Dear Heart

I giggle and try to slap his shoulder, but my hand flops back to the bed. I’m happy. “You may be right. I may have slipped into another dimension for a while there.”

His laugh makes him rub against my center and I moan a little. His gaze goes hot. I manage to cup his face with one hand.

“I bought condoms. On the side table.”

He looks over his shoulder and then reaches over. Pulls out the twelve-pack box. Lifts an eyebrow. “Someone is ambitious.”

My turn to laugh. “I didn’t expect them all to be used tonight. And the bigger box is cheaper by comparison if you do the math.”

“I’m glad you thought of it because I didn’t think of bringing any with me.” His gaze goes tender then. “I didn’t expect any of this to happen today. I was willing to wait.”

And that, that right there, is why I wanted to be with him. No pressure. No expectations. Infinite patience.

“I know.” I tilt my hips. Waggle my eyebrows. A sliver of my old self comes out to play. I’ve missed her.

He sits back, and I get a good view of his erection. Thick and long. The tip glistening. Elliott opens the box andremoves a square foil. He rips it open with his teeth and rolls it on himself. His gaze on mine the entire time. Watching him sheath himself makes my mouth go dry.

“You’re okay?”

I nod. Anticipation builds inside me.

He positions himself between my thighs and I gasp at the initial pressure.

“I’ll go slow. Tell me if you need me to stop. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Breath catches in my lungs. “Okay.”

He pushes in and I shudder at that first contact. Little by little, my body gives in to him, welcoming him inside me. He braces himself, his elbows on either side of me. His gaze fixes on my face, and I close my eyes. It’s been so long, my inner muscles resist the invasion at first but give in under his gentle persistence, and it’s all we can do to stay still.

Elliott drops tender kisses all over my face; the curve of my jaw, my cheekbones, the tip of my nose, my eyes, my forehead, and finally, my lips. I kiss him back. I grab his shoulders, pull him closer, wrap my legs around his, then tilt my hips up as he inches inside me, bit by bit until I’m completely full. I moan into his mouth. The sensation is both familiar and new.

“You okay?” His voice is low, husky.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I keep my eyes closed, but I can’t help the smile on my face. A part of me wants to revert to being a shy teenager, but another bigger part of me wants to scratch at his back and bite his shoulders, wants—needs this to be ravenous and intense and shattering. I open my eyes and hide nothing. Allow Elliott to see the raw, savage need in me. I want to be wild and wanton.

He grunts and pulses inside me. My eyes nearly roll back with pleasure. I gasp. “Don’t stop. Don’t be gentle. I need you.”I need you to fuck me into oblivion.I need you to destroy the grief and guilt and sadness.Fuck me until I can’t think anymore.I don’t say any of that. He understands me anyway.

He moves with slow and long strokes at first, allowing me to adjust to his size and my body to get used to being pleasured this way again. My nails dig into his shoulder blades and I push my hips up into him. He picks up speed and I match him. We move together like synchronized dancers, push and pull, our bodies in perfect harmony. The sounds of our rapid breaths and moans fill the room. That long-forgotten pressure starts to build in my lower belly, heat expanding and building, and the need for more, just a little more, please more, takes over me, making my movements erratic, breaking the tempo Elliott set, searching, looking, reaching for release. I moan in frustration. I’m so close, on the edge. Elliott shifts and it does the trick. I explode into a million pieces. The oblivion I so eagerly wished for comes for me and wipes me out. I’ve fallen into a black hole. My body contorts and convulses, my back arches, my thighs press against his, and he keeps moving, extracting and giving at the same time. One wave rolls into another and another, and I’m on the verge of passing out for lack of oxygen. Elliott grunts with his own release, and it’s nearly as long as mine. After a millennium, my body relaxes, settling back onto the bed. Elliott drops to my side. Neither of us speaks. We’re working hard at breathing. His hand finds mine, and he laces his fingers with mine. Brings it to his lips and kisses it. Then nests both of our hands on his chest. And we stay like that as our breaths slow and our bodies cool.

FORTY-NINE

Elliott

This isthe most exquisite and mind-blowing experience of my life. I didn’t see it coming. Never in a million years did I expect Jillian to take the reins like she did tonight. To arrange for us to be together like this. To even think of buying protection and choosing her home, her bed, for our first time.

I was afraid she’d never completely let go of her past and grief. But what I encountered was the opposite. A woman taking charge of her life and her body. Unashamed to ask for what she needs, and there’s nothing hotter than that. It’s such a turn-on that even exhausted after what I can honestly say was the best sex of my life, and knowing she’s lying next to me naked still trying to catch her breath, as am I, my dick is stirring to life again. But as much as I want back in again, first I need to get rid of this condom, and then I want to do some serious cuddling.

I kiss the back of her hand again. “Be right back.” And walk to the bathroom to get rid of therubber. I come back with a glass of water and two Tylenol I found in the medicine cabinet. “Take this. It will help.” I know she must be aching.

A tint of pink colors her cheeks and I don’t know if the blush is because she’s still heated from our lovemaking or if she’s embarrassed.

Jillian sits up, takes the pills, and drinks the water eagerly. “Thank you.”

She’s not trying to hide from me. The pink flush stretches to her chest and the tops of her breasts. I take her in now, appreciating what I didn’t have a chance to before, in my eagerness to be close to her. She’s perfect. My intense scrutiny gets the better of her, and Jillian pulls the sheets up to her chest and covers herself, her gaze drifting down and away from my own nakedness.

I grab the pillows we tossed to the floor and prop them against the headboard before I sit on the bed. Then open my arms for her. Jillian hesitates for the smallest of moments before coming to me and laying her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head. “You okay? Did I hurt you?”

She tilts her head up to me and smiles. “I’m great. I’m a little sore, but you didn’t hurt me. The Tylenol will help. Thank you.”

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