Page 92 of Courage, Dear Heart

I rub a hand up and down her arm. “I’m the one who should be thanking you for the best night of my life.”

She chuckles. “I’m sure you’ve had better nights.”

I pull back so she can see my eyes and know that I mean it. “No, Jillian. I have not. I’m not just saying it. And it’s not awesome sex endorphins doing the talking. Most of the time, sex is just sex—it fulfills a physical need, but it’s empty and meaningless. But with you—someone I care deeply about—it’s extraordinary. I mean every word. Youhave no idea how happy I am right now. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world.”

She blinks at me. Can she guess the meaning of my words? What I want to really say but don’t think she’s ready to hear? To acknowledge it? And dare I hope she feels the same way and I’m not the rebound?

No. I know I’m not. Jillian would not have allowed me to get so close to her, close to Jamie, if she didn’t feel the same way I do. It may be too soon to say the words, but they hang between us anyway.

A loud growling sound breaks the spell, and we both have a fit of giggles.

She presses a hand into her stomach. “Is it me or you?”

“I don’t know, but we should fix that right now. Takeout, you said. What do you have in mind?”

“Chinese?”

I grin. “That sounds amazing. We’ll be hungry again in an hour and then we can go for round two and eat the leftovers after.”

She leans in for a kiss. “I like the way you think.”

FIFTY

Jillian

We get dressed in silence,this somehow more intimate than the undressing. I forego the dress I was wearing before and pull on yoga pants and a T-shirt. We walk to the kitchen barefooted, our steps silent on the hardwood floors and rugs. I open a drawer and pull out three different takeout menus. Show them to Elliott. “Do you have a preference?”

He studies the menus and selects one. The fancier of the restaurants near my apartment. One I don’t often order from even though it has the best food because it costs double the other ones.

“What do you feel like? This?” He points to a menu item highlighted in yellow.

I don’t have to look at the menu to know what I want to eat. I always get the same thing when I order from there.

“Yes. That’s my favorite.”

“What about some appetizers?”

I never get appetizers when I order. “We could get some.”

He looks through the menu again and back at me. “Should I surprise you?”

I smile. “Sure. Why not.”

He taps away on his phone. “Done.”

“You didn’t call?”

“I placed the order online. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if you heard me.”

“Humm, a man of mystery.”

He waggles his eyebrows. “Let me ask you a question and be honest. Do I Make You Horny, Baby? Do I? Do I make You Randy?” Elliott says this with a straight face and an English accent.

I burst out laughing. “Austin Powers?”

He tries to hold on to his serious face but loses it. We’re both laughing like teenagers, without a care in the world. Elliott leans against the counter and pulls me into his chest, holds me close. I rest my head on his pec and close my eyes with a deep sigh. He holds me tighter, rubbing one hand up and down my back. The gesture is soothing, comforting, and I relax in his arms, my body melding with his. His breath is warm on my hair. I squeal when he picks me up and carries me to the couch and sits with me on his lap.

We stay like that, holding each other quietly and enjoying being in the moment. I think I doze off in the warmth of his embrace because I startle at the sound of the doorbell ringing downstairs.

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