Page 9 of There is No Try

“So?” She gestures vaguely in his direction. “It wasn’t as if you were thinking about him while you touched yourself… Oh. You totally were, weren’t you?”

I wince. “Yes.”

“Bloody hell, Bridge. Don’t tell me he heard you moan his name.”

“He did,” I groan. “He thought I needed something and came into the bathroom to check on me.”

“He hears you mid-orgasm, then asks you to marry him? I’m missing something here. According to Ronan, Lucas had severalgirlfriends and boyfriends, and a few…theyfriends, I guess you could call them? I’m not sure how he referred to them—you’d have to ask Lucas—but he was always in a relationship or dating someone. He came here and hasn’t been on a single date. You don’t find that strange? Then, all of a sudden, he’s proposing? It doesn’t add up, especially with how that beautiful man looks at you.”

“Yes, okay, fine, I’m in love with Lucas. I have been for a long fucking time, and apparently he feels the same. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Her smile grows wider at my admission. “It’s complicated. While the marriage will be for his citizenship, it’s more than that. I don’t want him to leave. Getting caught mid-orgasm and the marriage aren’t in any way related, except he said some things I’m definitely saving for later when the boys aren’t home.”

Nora laughs and asks, “If you get married, shouldn’t one of the perks be that you get to climb him like a tree? No vibrator required.”

Before I can answer, Gav calls to me, “Mum, come be my goalie!”

“What about Nor?” I yell back.

Ronan answers, “She’ll be mine!”

Nora groans, playfully rolling her eyes. “Come on. They’re not going to stop asking until we join in.”

Nora and I only have to play for a few minutes before a few of the boys’ football friends arrive and we’re able to sneak away. I’ve hardly been focused, unable to stop thinking about Nora’s suggestion. I couldn’t have meaningless sex, my heart couldn’t take it. Lucas is undoubtedly one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known, and I trust him when he says he loves me, but we’venever been on a real date. If this is going to work, I need to insist we truly take things slow.

With the boys preoccupied with the birthday celebration, we don’t have a chance to talk to Gavin. Still, Lucas finds subtle ways to touch me in ways an outsider wouldn’t be suspicious. Except Nora, who can’t wipe the stupid smile off her face. I’m able to convince her to wait until tomorrow to tell Ronan and breathe a sigh of relief we won’t be there for him to become a protective big brother.

Once we’re home and dressed for bed, Lucas and I sit with Gavin on the couch for the conversation I’m now dreading to have. I finally ask Gav, “What would you think if Lucas had to leave?”

“Why does this sound like my friends’ divorced parents?” Gavin crosses his arms and sits further into the sofa.

I hate how he’s being defensive, but he could see this as someone abandoning him. A deflection. I try again. “Something has come up, but what if we had a way Lucas wouldn’t have to leave?” He perks up and I continue, “Luc had an issue with renewing his visa, meaning he can’t stay in Ireland unless he’s a citizen. I don’t want him to go back to Australia, unless he wants to.”

“And I don’t,” Lucas chimes in. “You and your mum are family to me.” Glancing to me, he tells Gav, “Which is why I’ve asked your mum to marry me.” He quickly dips his gaze back to Gavin and insists, “But you are our priority. If you’re not comfortable with it, we’ll table the idea.”

Gavin’s eyes have been wide since Lucas uttered the M word. “But you have to be in love to get married,” he utters almost as a question as his eyes dart between me and Lucas.

Before I can answer, Lucas admits, “I love you and your mum so much. Even if I don’t marry her, I’ll still love you. I’ve lived here with you both for so long because I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I told her tonight now I felt, and I also told her about me having to leave. In the end, I’ll only stay if you want me to.”

As excited as Lucas is about this, I’m worried about Gavin and him possibly feeling as if all of this is on him. “While all of that is beautiful,” I say cautiously, “there is no pressure, Gav. It was merely something we were discussing today and wanted your opinion.”

“Do you love him?” Gavin asks me. I nod and smile. “And if you get married, he’ll stay?”

I glance over to Lucas and his eyes are so full of love and light. My heart beats a little faster as I reply, “Yes, he’ll stay.”

Gavin’s voice pulls me from Lucas as he asks, “If you don’t get married, what happens?”

“I’ll have to go back to Australia,” Luc explains. My stomach drops at the thought. “I love your mum, and even if I didn’t have to leave, I would ask her to marry me.” He lets out a light chuckle. “Maybe not so soon, but I can’t imagine my life without the two of you in it. What do you say, mate? Are you up for it?”

Gavin wraps his arms around Luc’s middle and tells him quietly, “I don’t want you to go.” I hold back tears watching them. While they share no blood, the love between them is just as real, and maybe even stronger.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lucas assures him, wrapping his arms tighter around my son. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here.”

CHAPTER 5

LUCAS

Telling Gavin went better than I thought it would. I fully expected him to push back on the idea, but my heart has never felt so full knowing not only Bridget loves me, but so does her amazing son. They’ve become my family since I moved here, and I meant what I said, I’d absolutely ask her to marry me one day regardless of my visa situation.

Waking up in my bed instead of hers is a special kind of torture. Gav is comfortable with me marrying his mum, and he likely wouldn’t mind if I stayed with her, but I don’t want to press my luck. So much happened yesterday, I need to bide my time.

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