Page 31 of Midnight Queen

No matter how many times she saysshe’s fine, I don’t believe her. She needs more time and I have an endless supply I can give her.

The way the corners of her mouth dip in a frown doesn’t go unnoticed when I pull away from her. I’m saved from having to explain myself to her when my phone buzzes in my pocket for the third time this hour.

Disappointment clear in her eyes, Quincey gestures at me with her chin. “You should get that.” When I don’t reach for the device, she quickly insists. “I’m serious, Silas. Something is clearly going on. I’ve never heard your phone ring as much as it has this week. Doesn’t Duke usually handle things for you?”

Duke.

I kept telling myself I was going to wait for the right time to tell her about Duke, but each time I opened my mouth, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. The thought that the news of Duke’s injuries would only add to the pain I’m trying so desperately to soothe stops me.

A truly selfish act, I know, but as long as each day she continues to heal and grow stronger, I’ll continue to shield her from what I can. For now, her believing both Duke and Della are giving her space to recuperate, will have to do.

Reluctantly, I pull the phone from my pocket and glance at the number. I recognize the last four digits and immediately know what the call is pertaining to. While my molars grind in irritation, I force my face to remain impassive. “I don’t need to answer this. I already know what they’re calling about.” Silencing the device, I pocket it once more before reaching for her face. My thumb brushes gently over the faint bruise on her cheekbone. “But you’re right, I don’t think I can put this off any longer.”

Her head turns so she can press a soft kiss to my palm. “I will be fine here, I promise, Silas.” The way her heartbeat spikes tells me what I already know; Quincey still isn’t fine and she doesn’t feel safe here.

Feeling torn between the two things that need my attention most, I stiffly nod after making the reluctant decision to leave her here for just a short while. “I won’t be gone long—two hours at most. And you won’t be alone. There are still guards stationed all around the property and Lorcan will remain here as well.”

While I’ve been holed away with Quincey, Lorcan has been acting as my eyes and ears. His wire transfer cleared almost five days ago, yet he remains. He’s also been the one overseeing details that are usually handled by Duke. They’re tasks I never asked of him, but the Irish vampire has surprised me by sticking around and assisting me.

He’d offered days ago to stay with Quincey if I needed to leave, a selfless act that caught me off guard. But truthfully, while Duke remains in the hospital, Lor is the only person I would leave Quincey with. I know if a situation arises, his particular skill set will ensure her safety.

“He’sstillhere?”

“Yes, I’m as surprised as you. He usually prefers a nomadic lifestyle.” I’m not sure he’s ever stayed in one place longer than three days. “But don’t worry, he knows he isn’t permitted in this room. He won't bother you.”

“For some reason, I very much doubt that.”

“If he wishes to keep his head connected to his shoulders, he’ll heed my warning.”

My fingers shake as I grip the cold marble of the bathroom countertops. I’ve been standing here, staring at my distorted reflection in the chrome faucet of the sink, trying to find the courage to look at myself in the actual mirror. Correction: I’ve been trying to find the courage all week to look at my reflection.

I’m afraid of what I will see when I do. It’s not just the bruising and cuts I’m afraid of—I’m afraid that I will look as different as I feel. I thought time would give back the piece that Gideon stole from me, but a week later, there’s still an empty place in my soul. When they say ignorance is bliss, they mean it. Once that pastel-pink balloon of innocence pops, there’s no repairing it.

Silas told me from the beginning his world wasn’t safe, but now that I’ve seen and experienced the harshness of it myself, I learned the hard way just how true his words are. My pink balloon has burst, and it’s been replaced by an angry fire that burns in my belly.

And I’m worried that when I look in the mirror, I will find that anger shining in my eyes. That I willseehow I’ve changed.

Keeping my eyes down, I pull the oversized shirt over my head and mindlessly throw it onto the black tile floors. Every aspect of Silas’s bathroom is dark and sleek—sexy, just like him.

My hair is knotted from going to sleep with it wet. Gathering the long strands, I tie them on top of my head so they’re not hindering my view.

My jaw clenches and I force myself to look up.

Barefaced and naked, I stare at the person reflecting at me. She looks like me—maybe a little thinner from a lack of appetite, but I still recognize her. The same freckles line her nose from spending her summers in the sun, and there’s still that scar on her right knee from when she tripped over a broken bottle of her mom’s tequila when she was eight.

And her eyes… her eyes look as they always have.

She’s still me.

I’m… me.

Relief washes over me like a waterfall of warmth. Gideon tried to break me, but in the end, his plan backfired, because that anger he caused is only making me feel stronger. I don’t have any more tears left to cry. Each one I was willing to give him has been shed over the past week, but now I’m ready to move forward.

I’m taking back the life he tried to steal from me.

I’m done being coddled and cared for, and I’m definitely fucking over the way Silas is looking at me. He looks at me like Gideon won and he did, in fact, break me. Silas handles me like I’m a fragile piece of glass that will shatter at any moment.

He barely touches me, and when he does, it’s so gentle and tender, I find myself resenting it. I don’t want him to handle me like I’m damaged goods. I want him to grab hold of me with such passion, the bruises he leaves cover the ones left by Gideon.

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