Page 59 of Midnight Queen

My teeth are grinding to the point of jaw pain by the time Silas closes the doors to his office behind us.

I’m not sure how many offices this man has, and part of me doubts he knows either.

This office looks plain compared to the one at home. There aren’t any bookshelves lining the walls, full of mementos from throughout the years, like at home. Hell, there’s barely anything on the walls. Just a few paintings that have probably been around longer than Silas himself. Which means they’reold.

After my slow perusal through the bare-bone space, I finally turn and face him. He stands there, that same blank expression on his face as he wore in the basement.

“You can take off your mask now,” I snap at him. “No one can see you in here, so you can drop the act. Plus, I don’t want to talk to King Silas. I want to talk tomySilas.”

It’s a change I don’t think most people would notice, but the slight softening of the harsh lines of his face is a glaring difference to me. His dark eyes even shift from cold nothingness to the midnight eyes that haunt my dreams.

Just like that, he’s back.Good.

My fingers wrap around the pendant hanging from my neck. “When you gave me this necklace, I promised you that if you ever ventured too far into the darkness, I would be your guiding light. I would bring you back and center you.” My voice is eerily calm, given the turbulent emotions inside of me. “Whether you want to or not, I need you to hear me when I say you’ve ventured too far with this one, Silas.”

He went from expressing no emotion just seconds ago to his face filling with anger. “You more than anyone should be thrilled that Gideon is being dealt with accordingly.”

“Idowant him dealt with, but not like this.” My head shakes at him. “I thought this is what I wanted. I thought I wanted him to suffer a slow, painful death for what he did, but when I look at him in that box. I know it’s wrong.” I take a step toward Silas, but he mirrors it by taking a step back. “And more importantly, I know it’s pointless.”

“How can you say that to me? After what he did to you, how can you stand here and tell me that this is pointless. That manbutcheredyou.”

Butchered?I must bite back a wince at his cruel word choice.

“You are arguably the smartest person I know. You can analyze a person or situation and know all the answers in seconds, but you are so blinded by your anger that you can’t even see it. The man that’s behind that glass isn’t the same man who hurt me. Hell, he’s so far gone, I would bet he doesn’t remember everything that happened in that warehouse.” I wish I could forget it too, but I can’t. My goal now is to find ways to cope with it. “You think you’re punishing him by keeping him in that box? Silas, he doesn’t even realize he’s trapped in there. If he did, he would have been using his freedom as a bargaining chip—not Margret.”

His face twists into a cold smile that most would fear, but honestly, it makes me want to punch him in the nose. “Very well. I will turn on all the lights again.”

No longer able to keep my composure, my voice raises as I throw my hands up in frustration. “If you do that, you will just be repeating history.” Taking Margret away all those years ago is what got us all into this mess to begin with. “You’re punishing someone who doesn’t have the cognitive wherewithal to comprehend what’s happening to him, and by doing so, you’re wasting your fucking time.”

“He has to pay for what he did to you, Quincey. I can’t allow this kind of behavior to stand. His punishment has to send a message to everyone that you’re untouchable—that you’re fuckingmine.” When he speaks the last word, his voice is a deadly growl, causing shivers to run down my spine. “And they will all learn what the consequences are when you’re harmed.”

“You want to punish someone or send a message, Silas? Fine, but send it to someone who can grasp just how truly fucked they are. Gideon is no longer that someone. At this point you’re just prolonging a life that’s already over.”

Silas’s black eyes flare with fury. “You think I should kill him and let all of this be over with? That’s what you want?” His lips pull back in a sneer, exposing the tips of his fangs. They’re a glaring sign that he’s losing his control, but I’m still not ready to drop this.

“I know what Ira would want,” I tell him as calm as possible, no longer wanting to match his turbulent energy. “He would want justice for what happened to him, and you’re choosing vengeance.” An eye for an eye; Ira was simple like that. “What you’re doing to Gideon isn’t going to bring peace to Ira. Let him rest easy knowing his killer is dead.” All my life, I’ve been focused on saving lives, and now I’m pleading with Silas to take one. It should probably feel more immoral than it does, but I’m completely at peace with it. “I agree that Gideon’s actions can’t go unpunished, whether he remembers he did it or not, he killed Ira, and for that he has to die.”

“Death isn’t punishment enough for what he did toyou.” Silas seems even taller than he is when he’s in this state. Anger makes him into a bigger, threatening presence. “He hasn’t suffered enough yet.”

“Yes, he has!” My voice raises again, despite my best efforts to remain the calm one. “For a hundred years, he’s done nothing but suffer because you took the love of his life away from him, Silas!”

“And then he took mine!” Silas’s admission comes in a deadly roar. It bounces off the mostly empty walls and has me freezing in place, stunned, completely silent.

Standing there, I try to find the right words, but all I can manage to utter is a breathy, “Silas…” My head shaking in disbelief. My heart pounds against my ribs like it’s trying to free itself from its cage.

Silas’s past with Cecily isn’t a mystery to me. From the very beginning, I was aware that no matter how many years passed, she would always remain. She was a presence that would always behere, whether we acknowledged it or not. Cecily was Silas’s first love—his wife—and I never wanted to diminish her importance to him. I accepted that pieces of Silas were always going to belong to her. It was never my wish to replace her.

And I thought Silas felt the same way.

The all-consuming anger that had been taking Silas over just seconds ago, evaporates, taking his sharp fangs with it. “I thought I knew what love was when I met Cecily. I thought I would never break the vows I said to her.Till death do us part…it meant nothing to me because I thought even in death, my love for her would never waver. I thought I could never love another person the way I thought I loved her.” His midnight eyes lock with mine, the emotion filling them makes the air catch in my throat. “And then I met you, Quincey, and I learned that I was wrong. The man who made those vows didn’t have the slightest comprehension of the word love.” I have lost the ability to breathe altogether at this point. “When my time comes and I cross paths with Cecily in the afterlife, I will her owe her an apology because I know now, I never loved her the way that she deserved. It’s a gut-wrenching thing to have to admit, but it’s true.”

His face contorts as if he’s in physical pain. Unable to stop myself, I reach for him, taking his balled fist between my hands. Like it’s not enough physical contact for him, his free hand cups the side of my face.

“Cecily was who I needed then, and I am infinitely grateful for those few short years I got with her, but she was never the one I was destined for.” His thumb swipes across my cheekbone as his black eyes lock with mine. “Lifetimes I have lived without you, but I would wait a dozen more lifetimes to call you mine. You are my sun, and you are the love of my life, Quincey Page.”

Tears I didn’t know were forming in my eyes, fall down my face, but neither one of us does anything to stop them. Sometimes allowing emotion to freely fall is necessary, and this is one of those times. There are no walls up between us. Silas’s mask is nowhere to be seen, and he’s exposing every inch of himself to me.

“These words still don’t seem like they’re enough to fully encapsulate what I feel for you, but I will say them anyway. I love you, Mon Soleil.”

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