Her breath catches in her throat, her lip wombling harder, but I don’t give her the opportunity to say anything else.
Not many people have the cruel clarity of knowing, in real time, that they are actively living through the moment that will become their greatest regret. But I do. I am one of the unfortunate few who gets to spend the rest of my life knowing that no failure, no mistake, will ever compare to the pain I am causing right now. Nothing I do from this moment forward will ever measure up to this loss. Nothing could ever hurt more than this.
“I, Rennick Fallamhain, Alpha of the Fallamhain Pack, reject you, Noa Alderwood, as my fated mate. My scent match. My destiny. You will never bear the title of my Luna, you will never wear my mark, and you will never carry my children. From this moment forward, I renounce any claim you have on me.”
The last syllable has barely left my lips when Noa lets out a hoarse, broken cry, a sound that will haunt me until the end of my days. Her weak grip on my arm slips, her body swaying, and before me, the woman who should have been the very reason my heart beatscollapses to the earth.
And I’m too numb to even try to catch her.
Chapter 15
Noa
Complete and utter devastation.
Tthat's the only way my pain riddled brain can describe what has just occurred.
“I, Rennick Fallamhain, Alpha of the Fallamhain Pack, reject you, Noa Alderwood, as my fated mate. My scent match. My destiny. You will never bear the title of my Luna, you will never wear my mark, and you will never carry my children. From this moment forward, I renounce any claim you have on me.”
The pain is unbearable.
I want to mourn the future Rennick just erased in a handful of cold, emotionless words. I want to grieve the love that was supposed to be mine, the life we were meant to build together, the bond he just threw away like it meant nothing. But I can’t. I can’t feel anything except this.
It’s not a single pain I can pinpoint. It’s everything at once.Hot and cold. Sharp and dull. A dull ache and a searing stab.It’s in my bones, in my blood, sinking its claws deep into the fibers of my very soul. If I were forced to describe it, I wouldn’t be able to accurately put it into words. Onlythe unluckily few rejected by their fated mate are the ones to experience it. And the fact that rejecting your Goddess-given match is something that is so rarely done, because who in their right fucking mind would throw away such a precious gift, the knowledge of this pain is not something widely known. I can say with certainty that I had no idea this was the parting gift that followed a rejection.
I am vaguely aware I’ve collapsed, my body crumpling to the clearing’sdead, overgrown floor. The brittle grass beneath me itches against my clammy skin, but it’s a distant sensation, muted beneath the agony gnawing at me. I want to pay attention, to stay present, but it’s impossible when I can barely breathe without wanting toscream.
You will not scream, Noa. You will not give him or his cunt of a chosen mate the satisfaction of hearing you scream.
A familiar touch cuts through the haze, cool hands pressing against my skin, grounding me. The steady pressure is gentle but demanding, a lifeline pulling me from the abyss I’m fighting against. Even in this wrecked state, I silently beg Seren not to use her gift. Not to take this unbearable hurt for herself. Her empathic gift would only touch the emotional pain, but that’s still too much. She doesn’t deserve to feel that. No one does. I can barely endure the achingly empty void in my chest where our bond once hummed. The relentless tugging I’ve grown used to is no more and, in its place, sits nothing but devastating silence.
“Noa!You have to breathe.”The desperation in my best friend’s voice barely registers through the storm thundering in my eardrums.
I’m not breathing? Well, that’s news to me.
I don’t know when I stopped pulling air into my lungs. It’s a fight, and it hurts like hell, but I force a breath in. Then another. The burning in my chest eases slightly, and the black haze around my vision retreats just enough to keep me tethered.
Then his voice cuts through the chaos.
Rennick.
“What the fuck is happening? What's wrong with her?” The sound of his rich, smoky timbre makes everything worse.
He did this.
A violent growl splits through the air, a sound I’ve never heard from Seren before. My chosen sister and fiercest protector who shies away from conflict whenever possible, but she forgets that now. Forgets her innately submissive designation. She willingly steps into something dangerous, challenging an alpha like him without hesitation. She isn’t just ready to fight. By the sound of it, she’s ready to tear him apart.
“You take another step closer, and I will rip your throat out with my fucking teeth, Fallamhain.” There are more voices, they murmur to each other, but I can’t place them or understand what they say. “I don’t give a shit! He did this!”
His voice comes again, edged with something almost like panic. “I don’t understand. What the hell is wrong with her?”
The fact that he has to ask feels like somesick, twisted joke. Which is on par for what this has become. A sick fucking joke.
Seren’s thumbs swipe at my cheeks, faintly making me aware that tears have started to spill from my unseeing eyes.
Her laugh is humorless, the very sound of it slicing through the tense air. “What? You came here with your grand plan to reject her, and you didn’t bother to do a shred of research,Alpha?” She spits his title with such blatant disrespect it’s almost impressive. “You really thought you could throw away your fated mate without consequences?” Her hands continue to cup my face, her touch a desperate attempt to anchor me.
“I didn’t…” His gravelly voice is riddled with dread. “I didn’t know.”