Page 31 of Primal

I had clung to my waning denial, arguing that I was only giving up thepossibilityof something, that whatever connection Noa and I shared hadn’t been confirmed as anything more. The scoff and eye roll I got from my second’s mate weredownrightaward-winning and would have put a weaker man on his ass.

Rhosyn has theluxuryof seeing this whole mess from the outside, unburdened by the weight of an alpha’s responsibility. She has thefreedomto be a little selfish, to argue from a place of emotion rather than duty. I don’t have that privilege. I know what’s at stake and a solution has been offered to me. The cost is steeper than most could bear to part with, but if it means keeping more of my omegas from ending up like Carly, then I’ll pay it.

Even though the longer I stand in this clearing, waiting, the harder it is to keep my resolve intact. My stomach churns with something close to nausea, my body screaming at me to walk away before she arrives. Before I have tosee herand shatter whatever fragile, unspokenthingexists between us.

I clench my fists to the point of pain and focus on the ache in my knuckles, anything to keep my mind from drifting back to that damn dream.

Her voice, soft but desperate.

Her eyes, full of something raw, something I didn’t deserve.

Her plea.

“Pick me.”

For about five seconds, caught between the living and the dreaming, I had made my choice. I had decided to shove aside my doubt and follow the ache in my chest, to reach for the thread that, without question, would have led me toher.

But then Canaan’s arrival and harrowing news had shattered it.

For those five fleeting seconds, I had felt a kind of peace I never knew was possible. And then it was gone, and I was bitch-slapped by reality.

My eyes squeeze shut for a brief second, forcing the memory of the haunting dream—and the subsequent emotions—out of my mind and heart.It wasn’t real.It. Wasn’t. Real.But the guilt doesn’t agree. It slithers around my ribs, tightening like a noose, strangling what little composure I have left. I can’t afford this right now.

A slow, steady breath does little to elevate the crushing weight. With a heaving shove, I push it all down,burying it beneath ice.There’s no room for emotion, not here, not today. Piece by piece, I lock it all away and let myself turn cold.Emotionless. Untouchable.

That is how I will get through this.

Just as I settle into the numbness, the sound of approaching vehicles cuts through the stillness of the clearing. An army green Jeep Wrangler is the first to drive through the narrow passageway between the aspen and pine trees. It’s closely followed by a dark red midsized SUV.

I sense her before I see her behind the wheel of the Jeep.

It’s like a punch to the gut.

Sweet Noa.

For a second, everything within me stalls, the new precarious grip I have on my emotions, my control, slipping. My wolf shoves forward, claws scraping at the edges of my mind, his instincts roaring. She’s here and nothing else should matter. To him and his primal desires, there is no reason to fight the pull between us, no reason I shouldn’t go to her and bathe her in my scent, marking her so everyone knows who she belongs to.

I can’t afford to allow myself to think like that—my packcan’t afford it.

Smothering my reaction before it has a chance to truly take hold, I lock it away beneath the new reinforced layers of ice. My pulse slows. My face remains unreadable.I don’t blink. I don’t move.

But every inch of restraint feels like it'stearing me apart.

Not daring to look away from her approaching car, I don’t give my full attention to Canaan as he leans close and speaks under his breath. “I’m going to ask you this one last time—are you sure? The second those words leave your mouth, there will be no taking them back. You will have to live with this choice for the rest of your days, brother.”

Jeep crawling to a stop fifteen yards away, Noa turns off the engine and turns to say something to the blonde in the passenger seat. Who the woman is I don’t care, because once I walk away from this clearing,Noa Alderwood will no longer be my concern. By going through with this, I’m severing the last tie, giving up any right to care. Whatever claim I had—real or not—it ends here.

“You say that like there’s a choice to be made here, Canaan.”

My friend exhales sharply, and for the first time in all our years at each other’s sides, Ifeelhis disappointment—blatant, cutting, unforgiving.It lands like a kick to the teeth.

“I have stood by you, supported you without question, for years, Nick. Not once have I ever doubted you as an Alpha. But right now? Right now, you are so fucking consumed by your sense of duty you can’t fully comprehend the gravity of the mistake you’re making.” His words hit harder than expected and he’s not done. “You keep saying this is the only way. That you don’t have a choice. But you’re wrong. One day soon you’re going to wake up and realize it. I just hope for your sake that you can survive it. What you’re about to do, strong men have witheredaway from less.” The weight of his pause hangs heavy between us. “And I hope for that girl—thatinnocentfucking girl—to be able to survive it too, because you’re about to wreck her.”

Canaan doesn’t wait for a response, which is probably for the best, considering I don’t have one.At least not one worth saying aloud.Without another word, he turns, heading toward his mate—where he belongs—and leaves me to face the decimation of my future.

Alone.

Chapter 13

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