Page 46 of Primal

She won’t hear it.

“But I’m going to anyway!” Hand on the doorframe, Rhosyn looks over her shoulder at me. “Look, I have an aunt—on my mom’s side. Her fated mate broke his side of their bond. I was little, but I still remember how hard it was. How unbearable itlooked. She tried to go it alone, kept telling everyone she didn’t need help, that she was fine. She wasn’t.” Her voice softens. “But, Noa, wanting to be strong doesn’t mean you have to do this by yourself. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in being here these past three days, it’s that you’ve got people in your corner. More than you probably realize. And letting us help you through this? That’s not weakness, it’s the bravest thing you can do.”

Her kind words, too kind for someone who really is a stranger to me despite my budding inherent connection to her, are what start the ache in my throat, the squeeze around my heart. But it’s the small detail she said so innocently, almost offhandedly, that nearly steals the breath from my lungs.

“It’s been three days?” I rasp.

I spent three days drowning in the agony he left me with when he decided I wasn’t worth it. That the Goddess got it wrong when she chose me for him. That he and his pack were better off with Talis.

“Yeah…” She nods. “It’s been three days since Rennick did what he did—since he severed his side of the bond.”

The steady ache in my chest spikes the moment Rhosyn says it, like she spoke life into the emptiness, and it’s now demanding that I give it my full attention.

It gets its wish.

The whimper, which sounds awfully like an omega whine to my ringing ears, escapes my burning throat and bounces off the walls. And I’m helpless as my body caves in on itself and my legs collapse under me. Rhosyn is at my side before I can fully comprehend the pain radiating in my kneecaps.

It takesthe entire duration of Rhosyn blowing out my waist-length hair for the sharp, excruciating pain to settle back into something duller. Manageable, if only barely. The steady ache I’d first woken up to, the one that allows my lungs to take in air without it burning and I can think without wanting the darkness to consume me, returns like some twisted prize.

She didn’t ask me anything, didn’t try to fill the space with mindless chatter or try to drag words out of me that I wasn’t ready to give. Bless her. Still, I didn’t miss the flickers of curiosity, the thoughts she was clearly keeping back when our eyes met in the vanity mirror. She kept them to herself, something I was thankful for because I wasn’t ready for another emotional collapse.

She had said they—whoevertheyare—have been here since we left the clearing. Three days ago. Between Potion & Petal and the Nightingale program, a lot can happen around here in just a mere twenty-four-hour period. With me down and out, taking my sick days from literal hell, Seren would have been left to manage everything and who knows what she may have told our new guests. Not wanting to divulge the secrecy of our sanctuary if Seren hadn’t already said something, I refrained from asking Rhosyn if any of the animated questions shining just below her lashes had to do with what lies below the manor. Instead, I sank into the silence, letting it wrap around me while I tried to understand this new normal, this broken version of my body that doesn’t feel like mine anymore.

With my hair finally dry and falling down my back in smooth layers, Rhosyn and I make our way downstairs. On top of wearing my heaviest hoodie and a pair of thick leggings, I’ve pulled on a pair of wool socks that nearly reach my knees, and somehow, I’m still freezing. It’s not the kind of cold that comes from the weather, or even a fever. It’s the kind that originates in an unreachable place within you and settles into your bonesand refuses to leave. That dark voice residing within me now whispers that I’ll never be warm without him.

I’m fixating on this thought so much that I don’t mind that Rhosyn leads the way as if I’m the guest who doesn’t know where they’re going. The scent of sautéing garlic and other Italian spices hits me before we reach the kitchen, and I know without asking that Seren is cooking. With Mom gone, she’s the only one left in the house that not only enjoys cooking but is also good at it. I have enough basics down pat to not starve, but I can say with certainty that the kitchen is not where I shine. The idea of Seren’s cooking, the routine act of it, should be comforting. At the very least it should stir up some hunger, but the thought of doing so makes my stomach churn, my body rejecting the very notion of eating.

Walking through the archway cut out of the dark sage green wall, we enter the kitchen, and I come to an abrupt stop.

I don’t expect—can’t hardly compute—who is standing at my kitchen island, with Ivey held at his side, her little bum perched on his forearm in a way that is so effortlessly casual, it’s as if he spends all his evenings with us.

Canaan.

The Alpha’s second. The man whose entire role is built on loyalty, on supporting his Alpha without question. If anyone was supposed to be at Rennick’s side right now, it was Canaan.He should have been on his way back to their Idaho-based territory with his fearless leader the second I’d collapsed to the clearing floor like a puppet with its strings cut.

But he’s here, bouncing my best friend’s five-month-old daughter while he puts the finishing touches on a garden salad with his free hand.

My gaze swings to Rhosyn, who doesn’t even react under my silent questioning. She looks completely at ease with what wejust walked in on, and I realize she’s had the past three days to get used to…this.

“Theweyou mentioned earlier,” I mutter. “You meantwewe.”

She doesn’t bother looking guilty. Just lifts one shoulder like it’s obvious. Which, fine, it kind of is. They’re mated. Of course he wouldn’t allow her to stay here alone. We’re strangers, even if it doesn’t feel like it, and this is a town governed by witches and protected by a pack that isn’t his. He wasn’t going to trust her safety to us.

While beyond admirable of him, I’m also at a loss.

It’s not that I’m upset he’s here. I’m not. If anything, I’m oddly comfortable with his presence in my home. Just as I was the first time I met him, my wolf doesn’t dislike his presence the same way she does other men. There’s not even a hint of agitation coming from her when she just barely manages to lift her head to acknowledge him.

I’m just…confused. Bewildered, really. What have I done to earn this kind of loyalty from them? From him? What could I possibly have offered that outweighs his duty to his Alpha?

He glances up just then, catching my wide-eyed stare. His expression softens, just slightly, and he gives me a small, sympathetic smile and matching nod. It’s a silent message, a quiet acknowledgment that he sees me. That he’s here.

I return the gesture automatically, but inside, I’m reeling. I don’t understand this, any of this. Trying in vain to make sense of a world that keeps shifting under my feet, I collapse into the closest chair and wait for someone to explain what’s happened these past three days.

I sitat the kitchen table, hunched over a mug of lukewarm peppermint and lemon balm tea that I have no intention of drinking because of my roiling stomach. My hands are curled around the ceramic cup, trying to soak up every ounce of warmth from it that I can, though. Seren had placed the steaming cup in front of me while wearing a knowing and slightly apologetic look on her face. She knew I’d recognize the scent of the tea blend anywhere seeing as it’s one of our top sellers at the apothecary. It’s a blend we market as being perfect for smoothing emotional distress and anxiety. Ha!Unless I can mainline the shit right into my bloodstream, I don’t see how it’s going to help, but sure. A-plus for effort, Seren.

The last hour has been a blur of words, a recap, really, of the seventy-two hours I spent swallowed whole by the pain. While I was curled in on myself, screaming into the void, aching for something that was no longer mine, they were doing their best to tend to me while also handling…well, everything else.

Rhosyn told me about how they’d walked over to Potion & Petal to help carry in and put away a delivery of new merchandise when Seren was stuck with a fussy baby. She praised the apothecary, telling me how impressed she was with the whole thing, from the specially developed natural remedies geared toward both humans and shifters, with our handwritten labels, to the silver jewelry that is handmade by a couple of the Ashvale witches. She even talked about how she’d met Edie at the store and here again when she came by to help with Ivey. Rhosyn raved about how kind the timid young she-wolf was.

---