Page 59 of Primal

“Yeah, I know,” she agrees, returning my hand squeeze in a silent sign of gratitude. “I’m not ready to move home, but I think…I think I’m ready to visit.”

It’s a huge step. One I’m so fucking proud of her for.

“Okay,” I nod, “Rhosyn and Canaan are probably heading back soon. You could tag along?—”

“No!” The terrified edge of her voice has my heart lurching in my chest and my head zinging, the abrupt change in octave making my headache flare. Wincing, I force my stiff frame to sit up a little so I can get a better look at the now panicked-stricken omega. “I can’t…I can’t do this without you there. I know it’s unfair to even ask you to go back there after what happened with Rennick, but I won’t be able to face being back there without you.”

Of all the omegas I’ve helped, of all the times I’ve thrown myself into someone else’s healing, I’ve never regretted it. Not even when I got clocked in the jaw by an omega mid-night terror.

But right now? As her tear-filled eyes plead with me to walk back into the very territory that shattered me?

Right now, the part of me that’s barely holding on—the selfish, trembling part clawing for any kind of self-preservation—is screaming in regret.

And worse?

It’s screamingyesanyway.

Because, like Rennick, I’m willing to put the well-being of the omegas in my care above everything else. Above my own sanity and, apparently, above the still bleeding mess that used to be my heart.

“All right, Siggy,” I say, the words landing like a nail in my coffin—which is fitting, really, since I’m pretty sure I’m already halfway to death’s door. “Go find Canaan. He’ll need to give your Alpha a heads-up. I don’t think showing up there unannounced is an option for us.”

Hell, for all I know, they’ll slam the gates in my face.

And a large part of me thinks that might be a mercy because I don’t know how I’m going to survive being in Rennick’s territory again, let alone facing him head-on. Not when the last time nearly killed me. But Siggy needs me. So, for her, I’ll show up, even if it destroys what little remains of my…everything.

Chapter 23

Rennick

My knuckles whiten on the steering wheel, my pulse pounding in my ears as the road ahead blurs from more than just speed.

Ever since Canaan's call yesterday, I've been living in the space that exists between relief and dread.

Seven months, seven torturously long months Siggy has been missing, enduring fuck knows what. My second wouldn't offer details when I’d pressed for them, but the rough, clipped way he spoke told me enough. Whatever hell she escaped, it left scars deeper than anyone should bear. Let alone someone her age.

But it’s not just Siggy I’m driving—well above the legal speed limit—toward.

It’s Noa.

The weight of that name alone has my stomach flipping. Guilt coils tighter in my chest, a constant companion these past handful days, but this, the idea of seeing her again, is something else entirely. I tore her apart. Watched her collapse and did nothing to catch her. And now I must stand before Noa again, an executioner before his victim, and pretend I deserve to still breathe the same air as her.

At the thought of her, my wolf snarls, a low, warning rumble deep within. Instantly, he curls tighter around that precious, barely-there thread. The remnant of the bond I thought I'd destroyed in its entirety. He's fiercely protective of it, and of her. Even now, he won't come near me, won't grant me control or let me shift, his anger a constant punishment, but he's dedicated every ounce of his strength to guarding that tiny piece of her left inside me.

I want to tell him I’ll fix it. That I’ll never hurt her again. That I’d rip myself to pieces and gift them to her as a peace offering if it meant undoing what I did. But he doesn't trust me or my promises anymore, and, honestly, I don't blame him.

Outside, the late morning sky darkens further, heavy gray clouds swirling angrily overhead. We've had snow already this year, but the crisp bite in the air and the scent of frost warns me that the worst is yet to come. Winter in Northern Idaho is unforgiving, brutal, and somehow fitting. A harsh winter to match the cold desolation in my soul.

Canaan had requested that we first meet outside of our pack’s territory, emphasizing that it would be better for everyone involved that we meet on neutral land first. It was his not-so-subtle way of reminding me that Noa’s wishes were woven into this decision as much as Siggy’s were. My second had also boldly demanded that I not bring any additional guests along for this rendezvous. His unspoken words were glaring.

In case you didn’t learn your lesson from last time, don’t you fucking dare think about bringing Talis with you.

While I understood and respected him silently for demanding that of me, I still bristled at the implication. But the truth is, I couldn’t fault him for it—not when nothing I’ve done this week has given him any reason to believe otherwise. He doesn’t know yet that I’ve made my decision. That in the wreckage I’ve created, I finally see the path he’s been urging metoward for months. I only pray I haven’t seen it too late…that there’s still time to salvage what I’ve broken.

When I’d tried to learn what Noa’s involvement was in Siggy’s rescue and why she was going to be part of this reunification, Canaan had only said,“It’s Siggy’s call.”No further explanation offered. Just that. Whatever his reasons for withholding that information, it gnaws at me, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue.

My mind tumbles through theory after theory, some more outlandish and painful than others. But the darkest one, the twisted notion that Noa had any involvement in Siggy’s initial abduction, is one I dismiss immediately,vehemently. She may have been raised by Thalassa Alderwood, a woman whose legacy is tainted by her unthinkable choices, but Noa is good. Too good for this world. With one look at her, you know she’s nothing but a pure heart. She would never willingly partake in the abuse of omegas.

Which leaves me pondering her connection to Siggy as I glance down at the dashboard clock. Ten minutes out. My pulse thuds even harder at the realization that I'm about to reunite Yrsa Eklund with her daughter—something I never thought I'd get to do. Especially after Carly was returned to us as she was. Guilt seeps in, remembering I left the pack’s territory half an hour ago without telling anyone, including Yrsa, where I was headed or why. It’s selfish, bordering on cruel, but there’s a bitter, cynical part of me, a part that believes every damn thing I touch lately turns to dust, that couldn't bear to give Yrsa false hope. Not until I have Siggy safe, breathing, and alive in front of me.

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