Page 66 of Primal

“But none of it matters, does it?” I say quietly. “At the end of the day, you’re still betrothed to someone else. You still chose someone else as your mate.” I pause, letting the silence hang. “Right?”

He looks like he’s going to be the one who’s sick this time. “Right.”

I don’t know what I expected. Maybe that hearing him admit it would help. That it would make the ache easier to live with. But it doesn’t. It just makes the hole inside me wider, darker. Like his words gave the rot permission to take another piece of me.

I offer him a sad, trembling smile. “Your sense of duty to your pack is admirable, Ren.”

The nickname slips out before I can stop it. I don’t wait to see how it lands. Don’t want to see the expression on his face when he hears it, so I dip my head, and walk past him. Leaving him outside with the gray clouds and his regret for company.

When I shut the sliding door behind me, the ache of our interaction doesn’t lift, but I notice something else. I don’t feel so alone. I’m still tired, still in pain, still wrecked. But not alone. My wolf is here, closer than she’s ever been. The walls around her don’t seem to be as thick. I can almost feel her pressing back. My mother’s words echo in my mind, “The threads have already started to unravel. The binds are starting to break. He will help with the rest.”

While my mom isn’t here to ask, I know there’s another annoying cryptic charmer close by who might be able to help.

Chapter 25

Noa

Istuck my head into the den to check on Siggy, half expecting the room to be blanketed in sorrow. Instead, I found three women huddled close together, flipping through photos of Siggy and Carly on their phones. On the coffee table sat a tray with mugs of hot chocolate and a bowl of sliced apples, one of which Siggy was munching on while recounting a story about Carly. The tray of sustenance had Rhosyn written all over it even if I hadn’t seen the beta female since we arrived. She and Canaan had taken off to regroup at their own cabin, after being away for an extended period of time unexpectedly.

The laughter shared between the three women was watery, but real. They're grieving, yeah, but they're doing it together. And in that shared heartbreak, there's healing too.

Siggy might not be ready to move back permanently. As of now, I don’t know if she will ever want to live here full-time again, but coming home was the right call for the young omega’s soul. She needed her mother’s arms and love wrapped around her to help her mend some of those broken pieces, and she needed to talk to Carly’s mom so she could find the strength to forgive herself.

Lingering by the doorway, I asked her if she’d be okay with me stepping out for twenty minutes, that there was someone I needed to talk to. She looked uneasy at the thought of me leaving, but Yrsa jumped in before she could spiral. Promised they wouldn’t leave the den. That’s the only reason I felt comfortable enough to go.

Now, parked in front of the healer’s cabin, the one I was raised in, my palms sweat against the steering wheel. The moss is still thick on the shingled roof. The log exterior hasn’t changed much, though the front door’s been painted some sunny, blinding shade of yellow.Weird choice, but whatever. I don’t live here anymore.

Steadying myself, I climb out of my Jeep and walk up.

Before I can knock, the door swings open like it’s been waiting for me to arrive all day.

“I was wondering when you’d show up, dear girl,” Zora says, her wild patterned flowy pants clashing with an oversized red sweater that looks like it used to belong to someone twice her size. Her outfit choice I’m starting to learn is typical Zora, even if she looks like she went thrifting blindfolded and bought the first items her hand landed on.

She gives me a once-over that feels like more than just a glance. Like Seren, she’s a healer, so Goddess knows what her gifts are allowing her to sense. Her thin, dark brows knit together. “Would you rather sit out here on the porch?”

She gestures to two old chairs flanking a chipped mosaic-topped table with an ashtray perched on it. I nod without really thinking. Yeah. I’m not ready to face the inside yet. Too many ghosts. Too many memories waiting to ambush me. And if the front door is any indication, too many changes.

Mom’s rolling in her urn at that paint color.

We shuffle across the worn decking to plop down into the chairs. I hadn’t really taken into consideration the shitty weatherwhen I agreed to this location, and as the wind picks up around us, I instinctually pull the green sweatshirt over my shoulders tighter around me, snuggling down into the thick fabric.

Yeah, so I forgot to give it back. Sue me.

Looking up, I find Zora’s black eyes on me. “Lovely, sweatshirt, Noa, Where’d you get it?” She takes a deep, drawn-out breath. “Smells an awful lot like our Alpha.”

“He’s not my Alpha,” I reply, like a reflex, before frowning deeply at her. “Shut up.”

The charmer cackles before holding her hands up in surrender. “All right, fine. Still on the denial train, I see.”

“It’s not denial—not anymore, anyway.” I turn my head and watch the trees sway in the crisp wind across the way. The big tree her beat-up station wagon is parked under used to have wind chimes decorating the lower branches. They’d drive me up the damn wall on slow mornings when I was trying to sleep in, but Mom loved them. Said the noise cleared the energy around the house. Whether that was true or not, I couldn’t tell you, but arguing with her about it was a lost cause. “Didn’t you hear? Your Alpha rejected me.”

The last time I was with the charmer, she was trying to convince me that, even if I couldn’t access my own wolf like I should, that the pull I felt toward Rennick was a fated mate bond. I was so caught off guard, unsure, of what she was saying, it was easier to just flat-out deny everything. Claim it was a trick of the mind. She saw through me the last time and she sees through me now because we both now know without a shadow of a doubt that Rennick is mine—wasmine.

That became painfully clear to me as my thread connecting me to him was ripped away.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Zora says, her tone dry. “That little redheaded demon child made sure the news of your rejection was spread far and wide.”

Despite the various emotions rolling beneath my skin, all I can offer is an eye roll. I’m just…tired. My tense interaction with Rennick took all the energy I had to spare, and I don’t really have any to spare right now.

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