Page 6 of Primal

Head snapping up in his direction, I gasp out, “Air. I think I need some air.”

Before he can stop me, I’m rushing through the grand sitting room that’s connected to the foyer and toward the wall of modern glass doors that lead to a deck. Why I didn’t simply turn around and head back through the front door is beyond me. I think the alpha male calls my name again and his footsteps thunder after me, but I don’t slow down until I’m through the door and welcomed by the scent of the snowy mountains and pine trees.

Instantly, I miss that alluring scent inside the house and the way it had enveloped me entirely, but I’m also relieved to have my faculties restored. The haze lifts from my brain and I can think clearly once more.

“I’m sorry,” I gasp to Canaan, who’s watching me with unmasked concern. “It’s just been a long day.”

It’s been a long eight months and today is just the cherry on fucking top of the shit ice cream sundae.

“It’s all right, but are you okay? You’re really pale…” He trails off, hazel eyes searching me for any other signs of distress. “Do you want to go inside and sit down? I’ll take you to the conference room and then grab you a bottle of wateror something. Rhosyn has a stash of chocolate around here somewhere I can sniff out if you need some sugar…”

“No!” I answer far too quickly. “No, thank you,” I repeat, this time with less haste and a politeness my mother would be proud of. “Is there any possible way I can meet with your Alpha out here instead of inside?”

Please say yes, because if you make me go back inside that house, I might end up embarrassing myself further by doing something stupid. Like shoving my face into every soft fabric I can find and inhaling that scent like I’m a cocaine addict in a club bathroom.

“Uh…” The second-in-command looks unsure before hesitantly offering me a shrug. “I mean, sure why not? He might appreciate not having to be cooped up inside for longer than he has to be today.”

I offer him a thankful smile before turning and grabbing hold of the metal deck railing. The view from here is breathtaking and a heavy type of homesickness I haven’t felt until right this second washes over me like a cold wet blanket.

Familiar snow-capped granite mountains peek over the tops of tall trees and despite the cold, the early afternoon sunshine reflects off the lake below. Memories of spending scorching summer days down at that lake fill my head. A specific memory of me kicking water at someone and them retaliating by grabbing hold of my bathing-suit-clad body and tossing me into the cold depths while we both laughed plays like a movie inside my head. For the life of me, I can’t seem to conjure up the face of my playful assailant. It had to be one of my friends from school, I just can’t recall which one.

“It’s a pretty good view, huh?” Canaan asks conversationally, pulling me out of the memory I’m not entirely sure is mine at this point. Why can’t I remember who threw me into the water? “It’s one of the things that made me fall in love with this placewhen I moved here. A single glance at that mountain range and I knew I was home.”

Home.After all the time away from this land and the way we were ousted from it, Canaan’s words shouldn’t cause my soul to ache or my eyes to burn with unwanted emotion.

Swallowing hard, I drop my sunglasses back down onto my face to hide the unexpected tears and force words out of my tight throat. “This used to be my home. For eighteen years, I looked at this view every day. I haven’t seen it in a long time, but trust me, I never once forgot it.”

If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t believe the way the big male winces at my words. “Right. I heard a little bit about your…exit from the pack. Something like that never should have?—”

Before Canaan can finish his odd sentence or I can make a sarcastic quip about his placating use of the word “exit”, a haughty and trill voice resonates from behind us.

“What areyoudoing here?”

Whipping around, I nearly trip over my own damn feet to face the person now standing in the open doorway watching us with unchecked suspicion in her narrowed eyes.

Recognition for the woman hits me instantly as memories of our time shared as pups crawl out of the depths of my subconscious.

Hair, still a distinct shade of copper and styled to perfection, falls in curls around her shoulders, and a pointy chin paired with strong cheekbones define her sharp diamond-shaped face. She was always taller than me, but her frame has now taken on a willowy form that is common in beta females like her.

“Talis…” Her name comes to me as easily as the memories of her did.

Talis McNamara. Only daughter to the Alpha of the McNamara Pack, a pack based out of southern British Columbia who has long been allies with the Fallamhains. Talis’s father,Cathal, would bring his daughter with him when he’d have alliance meetings with Merritt. Since I was a girl and around the same age as Talis, I was forced to become her de facto tour guide and friend for the duration of their stay. Which was once two torturously long weeks during a summer break. She was never an easy or pleasant individual to be around, something I’d blamed on her father for endlessly spoiling and coddling her.

It's good for personal growth to be humbled occasionally by your parents, something that you don’t understand in your youth, but as an adult, you can look back on and see the benefits of.

My own mother had a way of absolutely handing me my ass when she needed to. She was a generous and truly selfless person, but shit, Thalassa took no prisoners. I witnessed many men get put in their place by her and it wasglorious. Now, more than ever, I’m thankful for her correction and guidance, no matter how hard some of it was to swallow at the time. Nobody quite says, “You’re a fucking idiot, kid,” like a parent. They humble and then they correct you so you don’t make the same mistakes twice. I’m not an authority on the matter, but I’m pretty sure that’s what you call good parenting.

“What are you doing here?” she repeats, voice rising an octave.

It’s only when I take a half step forward that I finally notice the way her dark eyes are wide, and her desert sun-kissed skin is ashen.

The look of utter horror. That’s the only way I can describe the expression contorting the beta female’s features.

Or it’s as if she’s seen a ghost when she glares back at me.

We hadn’t been best friends by any means, but we hadn’t ended on some kind of teenage drama-fueled bad note either. The last time I saw her was the summer of her eighteenth birthday when she presented as a beta. I was two years youngerthan her and eager to hear firsthand what it was like to come into your wolf. My excitement for her was met with irritation and open hostility over the whole thing. For the rest of her visit that summer, she’d sulked and bit the head off anyone who dared to ask her about her first shift. I remember leaving my post as her cruise director and taking off to the creek to hang out with another friend instead of dealing with that temperamental bullshit. That night when I’d returned home, Mom had let me know the McNamaras had left the territory. For the next two years while we still lived here, Talis never visited again.

Completely thrown by what could have been a very nostalgic interaction, I shake my head and move back to lean against the railing.

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