Page 83 of Wretched Choices

I empty my stomach one more time. Were the eggs I ate this morning bad? I flush the toilet, wash my hands, and rinse my mouth.

My face is pale, and I’m sure that If I eat something else, I will get sicker. And I can’t get sick, not tonight.

Tonight is Gabriel’s wedding; it will be held in the Lotus Hotel. One I haven’t entered since we moved out two months ago. I didn’t have a reason to since Salvatore has moved most of his work to our new home.

Because of the security system Marco set in our house, we don’t need his men guarding every inch of this mansion. The side of the house is filled with screens, and that shows how Marco’s genius system is working.

Anything Cosa Nostra related is done here. Sometimes this house is full of men in suits, and sometimes there are just a few of them.

I have also reduced my work hours and sometimes work from home. We each take a part of his office. I was shocked when he moved my stuff from the dining table into his office, that he equipped with one more desk for me.

Our work hours consisted of working, flirting, and fucking. Having a virtual meeting while sucking him off was one thing I didn’t think would be one of my superpowers. Seeing him lose control and keeping a neutral face was the highlight of the day. Paying for it was even better.

But what made it even better is that our relationship is in a better place.

I’m scared of how my heart skips a beat every time he’s around.

I’m scared of the butterflies in my belly.

I’m scared of how I lose myself whenever he touches me.

I’m scared of what-ifs.

And the thing I’m most scared of is that I love him and that he does not feel the same. Because deep down, I know I love him.

I’m scared I’ll end up like my mother.

Dead.

Because that’s where love led her.

Loving men like them is living on borrowed time. Either you get killed by the enemy or by your own husband.

Every day I break his walls inch by inch. Every day I see a glimpse of him and his true colors. His restraint when he sleeps with me, and always looking for approval in my eyes or my words. It makes him vulnerable, but in a good way.

I’m afraid that time will only show where this is going.

I exit the bathroom and sit on my bed; I need a minute to gather myself before the stylist comes. She should be here in less than thirty minutes to get me ready for the wedding.

“Did you gain any weight since the last time we had dress fitting? I swear it was a perfect fit last time,” she mumbles the last part to herself.

“I was under a lot of stress the last few days. I didn’t eat much. I’m not sure I gained any weight.”

“Well, it’s mostly around your breasts. The other parts are the same.” She plays with the straps of my dress. “Unless you’re pregnant.”

“What?” I ask, shocked.

“Never mind. I’m sure you would know if you were.”

She doesn’t say anything else, and I take off the dress so she can adjust it. All I can think about is what she said to me. I try to calculate the dates when I last had my period, but nothing comes. I take the pill regularly, and nothing has changed.

I can’t think about this now. First, the wedding. Tomorrow, I will think of possible pregnancy. Tonight, I need to survive not being killed since I put the father of the bride and some ofhis men behind bars. I just hope Salvatore is the only one who knows that.

Dress and makeup on, hair perfect, and I’m ready for my first grand event as Salvatore’s wife. As the wife of the don of La Cosa Nostra.

The wedding was perfect. Gabriel and his bride looked incredible together. And for an arranged marriage in a mafia world, it’s weird to see a willing bride. It wasn’t my imagination; it was the looks she was giving Gabriel when he wasn’t looking. Like she was admiring him.

The better part was that no one tried to kill me. Even with glances I got from the men of Camorra, no one dared to do anything. Weapons were forbidden at the event, but that didn’t mean there was no other way for violence.

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