Sadness fills me. I almost expected Salvatore, but it wasn’t him. If Gabriel was here, that means he was checking on me because Salvatore didn’t want to.
On wobbly legs, I walk to the moonlight at the window in my room. I lift my face to the black sky and the tears just keep going.
I need Salvatore, and he isn’t here.
Just like he wasn’t here when I told him I was pregnant.
With my hands on my belly, I curl myself in a ball near the window. I can’t stop crying. The pain is too much to handle,
All my wishes and hopes have been taken away from me. All my dreams and wants.
The door opens, and my heart skips with the hope that this is Salvatore, that he came to me to share my pain. Our pain.
The sound of plates and the click of shoes say that this is a woman, not him.
“Isa.” Cecilia’s voice makes my head turn, and I sink into her arms when she sits next to me. I let go even more. This time, I have someone to hold me.
“Oh, sweetheart, just cry. I’m here.”
“He didn’t come, C. I haven’t seen him since the day I told him I was pregnant.”
“Crying is good. Let it all out. I’ll stay with you tonight. I’ll stay as long as you need, but you also need to eat.”
I look at the tray she brought in, and my stomach turns over.
“I can’t.” I shake my head and wipe my face with the back of my hand.
“You need to eat to regain your strength. Earlier today, Valentina found you naked on the floor. You were unconscious. The doctor said you need to eat.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to. You lost a lot of blood, Isa.” I wince, and my stomach contracts at the thought of it. At the thought of my empty belly.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Look at me.” She takes my face in her hand and looks me in the eyes. “You will eat, and you will recover. You are a strong woman; you can have another baby. But the time for crying is over. You can grieve as long as you want, but you can’t do that when you are starving yourself to death.”
I wrap my hands around her wrists that are holding my face. “I can’t. The tears don’t want to stop. My heart is broken. There will be no more babies. He doesn’t want that. He didn’t even want this one, and he hates me. He thinks I got pregnant to trap him. I’m sure he’s happy now, probably celebrating somewhere.”
Her brows knit. “Why would you say something like that?”
“He sent Gabriel here. He only comes when Salvatore is out of town or can’t be reached.”
“I don’t think it’s that, honey. But you don’t need a man. You are Isabella Ruggeri before you are his wife. You can have whatever you want. Your father is just waiting for you to go home. Don’t forget that.”
“How can I be something I hate so much?”
“Do you really hate it or is it just something you’re biased about because of what your mother told you?”
I sniffle. “What do you mean?”
“You are your father’s daughter. He will stand with you.”
“All he wanted was an heir, not me.”
“I don’t think that’s true. He said if you come back, you can decide what you want. And I think you should do that. Take the power he is giving you.”
Hours have passed since Cece was here and I thought about what she said. After hours of staring in the dark and the moon illuminating the darkness, I realize she is right. If Salvatore isn’t here and we don’t share the same wants and needs, then what is left for me here?