Page 10 of Shattered Choices

“But what about you? That doesn’t sound like something that’s making you happy. On the contrary, it sounds like you’re suffering.”

I laugh. “Well, I guess now you have your answer. I’m not destined to be happy, nor to have a family. I lost that chance and now it’s all over.”

“But don’t you see yourself, Salvatore? He’s winning once again.” I shake my head, not ready to accept that. “He is winning.”

My shoulders slump and I run my hand through my hair. “I will never give him an heir, even if that means I stay unhappy.”

I hear the chair scrape across the floor, and she moves toward me, taking me by my shoulders.

“You deserve to be happy, son.” The moment those words are spoken, I feel a strange sting in my heart and my eyes start to blur. “You are nothing like your father, and it’s up to you to leave that in the past. It is up to you to be happy, and that is the only way you can make him pay. With your happiness, something he never had nor wanted anyone else to have.”

I clench my jaw hard, keeping the sob inside me because I lost everything, and I lost it because I thought I didn’t deserve it.

My mother brushes her finger under my eyes, erasing tears that last fell when I was a child. “You can be happy, son. You just need to forgive yourself first. I never needed your forgiveness. All I need for you to be is happy.”

I don’t know how, but the sob I kept suppressed leaves my body and I fall into my mother’s arms and sob for the first time in my life.

six

Salvatore

Two months later(December) Present

Once again, I receive a reminder to sign the divorce papers, and once again, I refuse.

I thought I would sign them and make things right. However, I couldn’t.

I avoided signing over my life.

And that is exactly what I will be doing if I sign those papers. There was never doubt about how my heart felt, nor how it feels now when she is away and over the ocean.

It took me too long to understand that I’m not my father, that I don’t need to be forgiven for his crimes. It took me getting to know my mother, my siblings, and accepting myself.

I never thought I would have a family other than Cosa Nostra, a family that will accept me and love me no matter what, and they showed that with their actions, but I need to protect them. Because now, they are my weakness. If it gets out that I have a family I care for, anyone can use them against me. Just like that bastard Sabatini has done with Isabella.

I have a deal with my family. I now go to family dinners once a month, where I hear all the trouble my younger siblings get into. Like my sister, Olivia. Her temper keeps her brother and father on their toes, or my brother’s escapades with older women. My mother prays to God that he will come to his senses. And yes, I learned to call her Mother, but not when I’m with her. Just when I’m alone, in my mind. I shield myself from weakness because I cannot be vulnerable.

Not now, not ever.

Even my mother’s husband has accepted me as a part of his family, not that I need a father. I accept Frank as the father of my siblings and a person who I know will protect them.

I have learned the consequences of my actions and what they could cost me.

They cost me the most precious thing I had in my life.

“Again. Salvatore, I need you focused on this meeting.” I raise my eyes, and they clash with Gabriel’s annoyed gaze. “I told you two weeks ago that this is a big deal, and since Ashley has decided she can’t work here anymore, I’m in this alone until we find someone to take her place.”

I shrug. “You’re doing a great job, Gabe. I don’t see the fuss over finding a new finance manager.”

His forehead wrinkles when he raises questioning eyebrows. I never thought I would see him this annoyed over a job he usedto do for me before Ashley came into the picture. But then again, the job wasn’t this demanding, and he could manage it with his boxing schedule. And he didn’t have a wife pushing all his buttons back then. I guess I should thank her for getting him to pull the stick out of his ass. “I don’t even know what to say to that, Salvatore, other than to question your sanity.”

Maybe he’s right, and I should question my sanity. I stay silent as he keeps talking. “Marco found someone for the job, however, I need to run it by you.”

I raise a questioning eyebrow. “Where did he find them?”

“Through applications on our website. But there is a catch. We never put a job advertisement out in the first place. Then we did some research.”

“And?”

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