Unable to handle the pain anymore, I snap, “You think I don’t know all that? I know! I blame myself.” I take a calming breath, but my voice shakes with every word. “I blame myself because I couldn’t protect you. I blame myself because I failed you. I blame myself because I lost the life I never thought I would want. I blame myself for all of it. And yes, I was a coward who couldn’t face you. My shame and guilt were eating away at me.” I run my hand through my hair, avoiding looking at her. I stare at her feet. “Last year was the worst year of my life. I hit rock bottom and only my past could bring me back to life. I needed to realize that I’m not my father and I don’t need forgiveness for his doings. I needed to learn how to love myself.” I raise my pleading eyes to her. “I just need one chance to make things right.”
She shakes her head and crosses her arms. “There is nothing you can do to make things right.”
“Can we at least try? We need closure, Isabella. If we want to move on, we need that.”
She narrows her eyes. “I don’t need anything from you, other than for you to leave me alone and fly back to New York.”
I walk toward her until I’m inches from her. As soon as I inhale her smell, I close my eyes to control myself from doing something I will regret.
Like kissing her.
“I need closure. I’m not ready to move on. If you want me to sign the divorce papers, at least give me that.”
A knock on the door interrupts us, and deep voices argue behind it.
“You want closure, meet me at the same club where you last saw me at midnight. If you don’t show up, I will assume that you’ve decided to leave me alone.”
She pushes past me and exits the bathroom, leaving me with my first win.
Maybe I won the battle, but to win the war, I will have to do much more.
ten
Isabella
I shouldn’t have agreed to this. I should have just left.
I guess I’m a masochist because I’m here, waiting for Salvatore. I tried to resist him, but after he cornered me in the bathroom and the shock of seeing him after all that had happened subsided, he awakened my body again. After a year of yearning and being able to relieve myself of the memory of him, I too need closure.
My closure is different from his. I can’t and won’t try again. I have a different agenda, one in which only I will gain.
Him?
Not so much.
The door of my office in the club opens and Pino enters.
“You sure you’re doing the right thing?” His eyes study me.
I lean back in my chair and take a deep breath. “Yes. I need this.”
“I’m going to be down in the main area if you need anything.”
I raise my eyebrows. “I won’t need anything, other than when he comes, for you to bring him to me.”
Pino nods and leaves the room. I stand and start to pace because in less than five minutes, he should be here. I know I said if he doesn’t show up, I will assume he’s left, just as I want. But there is a small piece of me that hopes he will come because I need to let out all the bottled-up anger I’ve kept inside since the day I left him.
Just as I think he isn’t coming; the door opens and there he is. No suit; he’s casually dressed in jeans and a shirt that is filled with his broad chest. Still handsome as always, his blue eyes shining with aspiration. He walks in and he approaches me with slow steps. I let him. He stops in front of me, a smirk on his face.
“I wouldn’t smile if I were you. You’re here because I wanted it, not you.” I trace a finger down his chin. “Now, be a good boy and sit.”
He raises his eyebrow, and without any questioning, he sits. I bite my lip as I watch his quads stretch underneath his jeans as he spreads his legs on the chair.
“Let’s get something clear, Salvatore,” I say.
I walk toward the door and flick the lock. I turn, and I can see it in his eyes. Lust and longing; the same look I would probably see if I looked in the mirror. I take small steps toward him, and with each step, I undo a button on my dress. “You are here because I wanted it. You said your piece, and I will consider everything you said. But for now, I don’t want to talk about the past.” When I reach him, my dress is undone and I drop it on the floor, standing in my lace underwear, stockings, and heels.I walk between his legs and place my hands on his shoulders. I search his confused eyes. “You want closure, so do I. But I want another kind of closure, and that is the only one you will get, so take it or leave it.”
We stare at each other in silence just for a moment. Enough to make me think he will pull away. But his hand lands on my ass, and he pulls me toward him, his lips finding the skin of my belly, and he inhales deeply. He pulls me into his lap, and my legs find their way around each side of him.