Page 36 of Shattered Choices

“With this job comes certain risks, and you should know that since you have been doing this job as long as you knew who you were. However, this route is riskier because you are going into the unknown. We will handle the coastguard for tonight, but with the Carabinieri, I can’t guarantee anything. It is a risk you will need to take.”

I don’t have to wait before a tall, fit young man says, “I’ll go.”

He’s followed by three more volunteers, and Mauro has a proud grin on his face. He trained those men well.

After the long day of coordinating new routes and changing plans because of that bastard Gio, I was hungry and exhausted, and I wasn’t the only one. The men were in the same position, only they survived on cigarettes and coffee. I survived on coffee, sans the cigarettes.

I barely ate before I showered and washed the exhaustion from my body. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I know when I woke up because the smell of roses was in my nostrils.

And just like yesterday, a single rose and a note waited for me on the pillow beside me.

I don’t want you to forgive me if you can’t.

I don’t want you to forget if you can’t.

But at least let me try to deserve you again.

Let me try to make us whole again.

Love, Salvatore

He was in my room again. I smile and shake my head, trying not to feel the butterflies in my stomach. I get out of bed, and like yesterday, I place the note inside the box and the rose on my nightstand for my journal.

I get ready for the day, knowing that the shipment is about to be delivered in the truck, just as we arranged yesterday. I haven’t received any calls, and that only means one thing. Everything went as planned.

My heart fills with the satisfaction of success, and the words that Salvatore left for me makes me feel like, today, nothing is impossible.

So, when I leave my house, I focus on the business and how to protect myself from another misdemeanor like the one with Gio if I want to live in the real world and not end up behind bars.

Weeks passed by between organizing shipments and the usual jobs at the club, and I kept waking up to the smell of roses, and the words on the notes crushed my walls slowly each day. The latest one has just one sentence.

Being without you is torture.

Love, Salvatore

I smile as I get ready for another day, only because I feed on his torture and pain. Pain that is mine too. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.

“I heard that your plan for the transfer of the goods was successful,” my father proudly mentions at the breakfast. My father has been watching my every move, even if he doesn’t show it. Not because he doesn’t trust me, he is like a mentor watching over his student with a proud look in his eyes.

I smile as I take a sip of my cappuccino. “It needed to be done. You know as well as I do that our business depends on that shipment.”

“Yes, and I’m so proud of how you handled the situation. Now I know you can handle anything. You’ve had a lot of happening lately and you took care of it. I’m still mad I didn’t get rid of that idiot Giovanni sooner.”

I take his hand that lies on the table and squeeze it slightly. “Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known what he would do.”

“I know. Still, I’m your father, and I will worry about you until I take my last breath.”

I smile at him. “I know.”

He clears his throat. “Tell me, is your husband still in the country?”

I bite my inner cheek and think of an appropriate answer to tell my father. “I’m not sure. Pino can’t find him. He swears he tied him up on a chair down in the cellar, but when he came back in the morning, Salvatore was gone.” I, of course, will not tell him that I’ve been receiving roses and notes from him. Maybe I’m being reckless, but I want this one small secret to keep for myself.

“Hmm.” I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. He drinks his espresso in one go and stands. “Have a nice day, Bella, and as always, be careful.”

I watch dumbfounded as he leaves. Is that it? He won’t say anything else? Confused, I finish my breakfast before I text Pino that I’m ready for our meeting today, ignoring the fact that my father nor Pino didn’t ask more about Salvatore’s whereabouts and how he escaped the cellar.

A strange feeling of being watched takes over me, followed by sweat and a heat that spreads along my body, waking me up. I stir from the dream I was having, where I was happy. My breathing quickens, and I raise myself up on my elbows, my eyes roaming the room.

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