Page 6 of Shattered Choices

Two months later (February)

If someone had asked me if I could ever live the life I despised so much, I would have told them they were delusional.

Now, it seems I’m the delusional one. My hatred for this life was based on what I thought I knew. My interpretation of things I never saw. I tried to find the reason, but there is none.

Our brains are powerful organs. I created the story in my head and believed it. I wanted to believe that my father killed my mother. Maybe I believed in the fairytales my mother wanted me to live in. I didn’t marry the man my father chose for me so hecould carry on with his empire. I wanted to find the man who would love me and give me the fairytale.

And isn’t it funny how the man I fell in love with broke my heart into millions of pieces and left me to pick them up by myself?

That dream is dead now.

Now, I rise and become the person I ran away from. I will be the mafia princess, my father’s daughter, then the mafia queen, with the only men I know will never hurt me.

Giuseppe Fortuna, aka Pino, is my friend, son of my father’s right-hand, Carmine. He is just three years older than me, but it was just us growing up.

He is my brother, my friend, my other half. We made a pact. If I ever needed him to marry me to escape an arranged marriage, he would.

He wasn’t able to do that when my father arranged my marriage to Sabatini; he fought it.

This time, it was my call. The only thing that could bring me back to this life was if he was on my side. The only thing that could heal my heart.

It’s time for my journey, accepting who I am and where I belong.

I look at Pino; he is gazing at the sunset in the distance. I know I’m asking too much from him, but even if our arrangement is unorthodox, we will make it work. At least for a while.

“I’m sorry I’m dragging you with me into this mess.”

He shakes his head. “I told you I will always be here for you, no matter what.” He turns his head toward me. “As I told you before, I never wanted to get married. I promised that to myself after I lost the only woman I ever loved.” He looks back into the distance, shrugging. “This is perfect, both of us with broken hearts joining together.”

I lean my head on his shoulder. “Well, if we can’t heal each other, at least we can be here for each other.”

“That we can.”

“What happened to Maria?”

Maria was the daughter of our housekeeper. She was five years younger than me, eight years younger than Pino.

After I left, she was married to one of my father’s soldiers. She was barely eighteen when they married her. She always had heart eyes aimed toward Pino, though.

“This life happened.” He takes a deep breath and exhales. “After you left, I was sent to work on the other side of Calabria and didn’t come home for three years. After I did, I saw her after all that time. The skinny, silly girl I left had grown into a woman. When she saw me that day, she was carrying lemonade, and like she saw a ghost, she spilled it all over me.” He chuckles. “I will never forget her red cheeks and glossy eyes, or the way she chewed on her lip. I helped her clean the mess and watched her while she made new lemonade. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.” He shakes his head slowly. “In the next few months, we talked a lot. I spent a lot of time with her. I used to follow her to the town and piazza. I fell hard in love with her.” He looks toward the small house on the side of ours where Maria’s family lives. “I was preparing myself to ask my father and let him arrange the marriage for me, but I was too late.”

He takes a deep breath, and I don’t ask the questions running through my head. I wait for him to speak.

“I begged my father to talk to your father so I could marry her. He said the deal was done and they couldn’t break it. Not even when he hit her the first time, or the second. Or when she came to me with bruises. Once, I did beat him. I just wanted to let him feel the same as she did, but he hit her harder next time. She begged me not to get involved again. She was expecting his child. My father sent me away again, and I decided to forget her. Untilthree years ago, when they found him dead on the edge of the mountain. Someone killed him and threw him away.

“She has a girl, Lucia. No matter how hard I tried to connect with her again, she doesn’t want to.” He exhales. “She will never be mine, no matter how much I’m pining for her.”

“I guess we both need a new beginning.”

“That we do.”

Another eight months later (October)

The smell of cigarettes and alcohol fills the space, and I look around the poker room situated at the back of my nightclub. It’s Friday night and time for the poker game I organized. After my father introduced me to the business, I needed a way to get these men to trust me and consider me one of them. It took time, but what’s better than a poker night to get to know them? Robbing them of their money is the second best thing.

There are six of them. They are all my father’s capos. I need their loyalty so I can be the queen my father wants me to be. One I need to be to live this life.

“This is useless. You always win.” Giovanni looks at me with suspicion in his eyes.

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