Page 7 of Shattered Choices

“What can I say? As you can see, I don’t have any aces up my sleeves.” I raise my bare arms so he can see them. “And I didn’t win. Yet.” I raise an eyebrow.

“She is right, Gio. You can’t keep blaming others for your losses.” Mauro smirks.

I look at him. “Don’t worry, Giovanni. Soon enough, you will forget you lost.”

They lose, but they also get compensation for their losses. Just one of the tactics to get them on my side. I have a couple of girls who are always ready to entertain them. And they are well paid. By me, of course.

Never in my life did I think I would be a madam. As I gradually took over the business from my father, this part of the job camewith it. I made changes; I made sure they were well paid and treated with respect. I have girls who do this job because they want to, and if they don’t like the client, they are not forced to do the job.

I’m never alone. Pino is always by my side, making me feel safe. Since I came back, I’ve learned how to fight properly, how to use all kinds of weapons.

I also became a chemist, learning the main business, drugs. My father says one way or another it will find its way onto the streets; we’re just grabbing our opportunity.

What he didn’t say is that it’s a billion-dollar business.

“The shipment is arriving tomorrow. We have everything set,” Mauro mentions as he throws his card on the pile. “I’m out. I need to make sure everything goes as planned tomorrow.”

“Do you need anything?” I ask and study my cards. I don’t have winning cards, but I will never give up first. It’s good that I know how to keep a poker face.

Mauro stands. “We have everything under control.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. I’ve organized where to bring the money after the merchandise is sold. We’re doing something different this time. We need to take the pressure from the small businesses.”

I slowly raise my eyes and see that all six pairs are now pinning me with questions. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s time for modernization. Security and stability for each one of us. Less carabineros on your backs and probably fewer of yourselves and your sons or cousins ending up in prison. Think about it, legal business means clean money. Money you can move however you want.” I look each one of them in the eye one by one. “What do you say?”

five

Salvatore

Ten months later October

I don’t know how many times I’ve come back here. I always end up staring at the perfect house, waiting for I don’t know what.

Waiting for answers to the questions I don’t have.

I look at the woman while she tends to her flowers in the garden; I look through her window as she prepares food; I look at her while she talks with a young girl who is her spitting image and they laugh together; I look at the perfect family eating dinner, and each time, my heart breaks for the future I can’t have.

My heart breaks for all the things I lost because of who I am.

It has been months, almost a year since everything I could have had slipped from my fingers.

Months of coming here, sulking like a lost child. Months of being an asshole to everyone. Months of Gabriel beating me in the ring because I need to feel pain from the outside to match the pain I feel inside.

I watch the light go out, and just as I want to drive away, the knock on the window alarms me. My hand reaches for my gun inside my jacket, but I stop when I see those blue eyes that are the same as mine, only warmer.

I exhale in relief and open the window, letting cold air inside my car.

She looks at me with soft eyes filled with pity. “You know, you could just knock and come inside.”

I stare at her, knowing I can’t. How could I taint her perfect family? I shake my head. “I can’t do that. I already told you.”

She narrows her eyes. “So, it’s better for you to watch us? My heart breaks each time I catch you. And lately, you’ve done it a lot, Salvatore.”

I grin sadly. “You noticed?”

“Of course. From that first time I saw you at my door, I knew each time you skulked in the shadows.”

I chuckle darkly. “How could you know? I don’t remember all the times I was here.”

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