Page 69 of Do You Ship It

It boils my blood. It really, really does.

I sneer right back at him. ‘Please. You don’t know me, you don’t –’

‘I know you better than you’re giving me credit for. Andanyonecould see that you were looking for any excuse not to join in that game. But let me guess – you’re worried what they’ll be saying about you, that you didn’tfit inwell enough.’

‘It’s not a bad thing to want to fit in! Just because you don’t give two shits what people are saying behind your back –’

‘You’re right. I don’t. If it’s that important, they’ll say it to my face.’

‘Well, consider this me saying it to your face, Max – nobody likes a self-centred prick who spends their whole time looking down on everybody else,especiallythose of us who actuallywantto fit in, who want people to like us, whocare. Being lonely doesn’t make you better than the rest of us – it just makes you an arsehole.’

With nowhere else to go because he’s blocking my path to the living room and the rest of the hallway, I tramp up the stairs. The three girls are still there, though they’ve acquired some fresh drinks and nobody’s crying anymore.

‘Yes, bish!’ one of them yells to me as I lunge over them. Another says, ‘You tell him!’

At the top of the landing, I almost collide with Daphne. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks still flushed, but she doesn’t look like she’s having such a fun time anymore. If anything she looks annoyed, her glossy lips in a pout. Her curls are limp, and there’s a sheen of sweat around her forehead, some of her eye make-up smudged.

But when her eyes light on me, she lunges for me, grabbing my wrist with a smile. ‘Thereyou are! Ohmigod, Cerys, so Daniel totally snogged me – and then he said he was going to get a drink, and he’s justvanished. I thought maybe it was code for “meet him upstairs”, but obviously not. Haha! God, how embarrassing … I was actually thinking I might justleave. Anyway, I’msoglad I found you. Shall we go back down to the party? How’s things going with Jake? You can tell me everything –’

And it’s all too much. Anissa and Jake, Max with his chivalry and Raf with his drinking games and Daphne wanting to ask about it all like I could eventell her. It’s too much, and I want to scream.

I wrench away from her, breathing hard, and snap, ‘Ohmigod,Daphne, I don’twantto talk about Jake. Or Daniel, or …’Or Max. Especially not Max. ‘Do you even hear yourself? I don’t want to talk about your shitty boy drama!’

‘But … I wasn’t …’ She blinks at me, her face blank, and for once she doesn’t look like the polished icon of put-togetherness that I’ve envied for the last couple of months. She looks young. She lookshurt.

And then her face contorts into a scowl that probably matches my own. ‘Well, screw you, Cerys! As ifyou’renot the one who’sconstantlywhinging about this boy who doesn’t fancy you back, as if it’s theonlyinteresting thing going on in your life! Forgivemefor the fact that a guy actuallyisinterested in me, and you can’t handle that!’

I don’t stop her as she storms off. I know – a tiny part of me knows – I should go after her. That I’ve beencallous and cruel and she’s upset, and I didn’t mean any of that, but she’sright, I do only talk about Jake, and I should fix this …

But it’s such a small voice in the back of my mind, crushed quickly by the raging thought of:good riddance.At least now, all my horrible secrets can stay buried.

By some miracle the bathroom is empty, and I shut myself in, being sure to slam the door to give myself that satisfaction of finality. Fight with Daphne aside, I’ve finally put Max in his place afterweeksof putting up with his attitude. I should feel on top of the world.

But instead, I’m standing in the middle of a bathroom clutching a drink I don’t even want, feeling more wretched than ever.

CHAPTER 24

Nobody comes to knock and tell me to hurry up because they need to use the loo, so I don’t feel too guilty for hunkering down with my back against the bathroom door. Jake and Anissa are probably still downstairs realizing they’re soulmates, Daphne’s probably gone home early like she said, and Max is …

Well, who cares about him, anyway?

Me, I do. Just a bit.

Not because of the arm around me and the breath on my neck or any of that, but – because I know I shouldn’t have said that stuff. That I was out of line. That, even if there is a bit of truth in it, I had no right to say any of it.

My first proper house party is turning into a right royal shitshow. My new friend has abandoned me, my best friend has replaced me, Daphne’s definitely going to kick me out of the group, I’ve yelled at theoneotherperson I know, the host and his friends will think I’m boring for not joining in their game –

– and now I’m shut up in a toilet in the dark because I couldn’t find the light switch.

Brilliant.

Stellar work, Cerys, this is exactly how it always goes in the movies. Gold star, kid. You’re nailing it.

I unlock my phone. There are some notifications waiting for me – a few things in the group chat, the other girls telling me to have a good night and tell them how it goes with Jake, demanding outfit pics I forgot to send earlier. There are some from Instagram I ignore, and a few Discord ones I’m about to click on when I see an email. It’s from the website I posted my fanfic on. Someone’s left a comment.

UGH, THE SCENE WE NEEDED! THE SCENE WE DESERVED! LOVE ITTTT.Are you writing any more fics???

My heart gives a funny somersault, and I cradle my phone for a moment, smiling at the screen, this random internet stranger making me feel a little better. I grab a screenshot to send to @silversmithhh, aka Heather, who I know will freak out with excitement on my behalf. Someone liked that silly little thing I made! Someone else feels like we were robbed of a ballroom dance between Lady di Silver and Devon! They get me!

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