I’d laugh, but it’snot funny, because the sketchbookcontains worse things than a collection of portraits of the boy I have a crush on, like …The Plan.
I drop my bag – sending schoolbooks flying again – so I can snatch it off him.
Jake laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. ‘Alright, Cer, calm down. Show me when they’re finished, yeah?’
He says that last bit more sincerely – genuinely wanting to see what I’ve been working on, knowing they’re not actually pictures of him. I breathe easier for the out, and nod. ‘Course. I always do, don’t I?’
After shoving everything back into my bag – the sketchbook secure so it can’t make another accidental appearance – I tell Max, ‘See you,’ even though I really hope Idon’t. He waves goodbye, and Jake comes downstairs to walk me out.
It’s the first time we’ve properly had a minute alone all evening – even though I can hear his mum on the phone in the living room to somebody, and his dad pottering around in the kitchen, both home from work by now.
‘Thanks for the watch-party,’ I tell Jake. ‘I had a nice time.’
‘Good. Told you you’d like it, didn’t I?’
He waggles his eyebrows and nudges me with hiselbow until I laugh, and say, ‘Yes, yes, alright, you’re right, you always know best.’
‘And Max is pretty cool, too, isn’t he? Don’t you think?’
‘He’s … cool, yeah.’Frosty, at any rate …
Jake bounces a little on the balls of his feet, his eyes warm and bright, and my heart swells in my aching chest; it’s so important to him that we get on, it’d hurt him so badly if he thought we didn’t.
So, attempting a more sincere tone, I tell him, ‘Max seems great. I’ll see you both next week.’
While I’m pulling my shoes on and getting my coat, Jake asks me a bit more softly, ‘How’s things going with your mum and dad?’
I can’t repress a groan. Jake knows all the gory details – or enough of them, at least – that I don’t bother pretending with him, even if things have felt a bit off between us lately.
‘Weird. Mum’s got all these plans with friends suddenly but that just feels like some guise so Dad has an excuse to see me, and we had this reallyweirdfamily dinner on the weekend where they were all smiles and nicey-nice … It was like they’d had a full personality transplant.Andthey’re seeing the couples’ counsellor again. It’s just … I thought things werefinally calming down, you know? Dust settling, and whatever. But it’s almost like they’re trying to gobackto how things were – and they were never that good in the first place … Honestly?’ I pause for breath; this is the first chance I’ve had to voice any of this out loud, and the weight off my shoulders is so abrupt, I feel like my knees might give way. ‘Honestly, it makes me feel sick. I hate it.’
‘Oh, Cer.’ Jake’s eyes are shining with sympathy, and when he gives my arm a squeeze, it’s suddenly all I can do not to burst into tears.
Jake pulls me into an embrace that’s less of his usual rough-and-ready bear hug and more like a proper, comforting cwtch, squeezing me tight, his arms wrapping all the way round and his head tucking next to mine. I breathe him in, a familiar scent of bergamot, and instead of worrying about whether this is the kind of hug that’s the start of a potential romance, I cling tight to him, glad for my best friend – even if it’s only for these brief snatches of time lately.
‘Well, remember,’ he says, when we finally part. I’m blinking my eyes dry before I really do start crying, and Jake has his usual broad smile in place, which makes me feel a bit better already. ‘You can always move in here. Not sure what Mum and Dad would say about an extra lodger, or how Gin would feel if you stole herbedroom while she’s at uni, but I’ve watched enough OWAR to know how to deal with them.’
He leaps back a step to wield an imaginary sword, lunging right and swinging left, and a wobbly laugh spills out of me.
‘I can be your Devon, defending the fair maiden – even if she’s strong enough to fight her own battles most of the time.’
Warmth blooms in my chest, and I say, only half a joke, ‘Until the end?’
He gives me another quick hug. ‘Until the end.’
GIRLIE POPS!
Daphne has added Cerys to the group chat
Daphne
Cerys omg we’re all here like ‘why hasn’t she text us to let us know how it’s gone?!?!?!’ when I realized I FORGOT TO ADD YOU TO THE GROUP CHAT
Nikita
It’s because she secretly hates you.
Evie