Page 23 of Omen's Bombshell

“What was your mom’s name?” I ask her, knowing it would mean something to her if our daughter was named after her mom.

“Her middle name was Amanda. What about Amanda Marie for both of our moms?” she asks me, wonder filling her voice as our baby starts to move in her arms and I have a feeling she’ll be waking up to eat.

“I love it. What about her last name? Do you want her to have yours?” I ask, not wanting to hope that she’ll have my last name but wanting that more than anything.

It truly takes seconds to change your entire life and today I’ve realized the fear holding me back doesn’t even begin to compete against the love I have for these girls. I’m not in love with Oaklynn yet, but I’m already halfway there and that’s just from seeing her around the clubhouse and watching her interact with everyone. Now I need to pull my head out of my ass and hope she gives me a chance to be in their lives on a daily basis.

“Amanda Marie Calhoun sounds pretty good to me,” Oaklynn finally says, a tear rolling down her cheek and falling free to land on Amanda’s little hand that’s wiggled free from the blanket wrapped tightly around her little body.

“Thank you, Oaklynn. You’ve given me the best gift a man can get today and even if you don’t remember it, you didn’t push me away and called out for me when you woke up. That means more to me than you’ll ever know,” I say as a knock sounds on her door before it’s pushed open.

A nurse walks in the room as Amanda continues to stir and slowly wake up.

“It’s good to see you up already,” she says, a smile on her face as her complete attention remains on my girls while she ignores me as she should be doing. “When the baby wakes up, are you ready to try breastfeeding? I saw in your chart that you want to breastfeed if possible.”

“Yes, please,” Oaklynn answers as the first whimpers come from Amanda as she squirms in Oaklynn’s arms.

The nurse helps Oaklynn expose her chest and hold our daughter properly so she has the easiest time latching on to her nipple. I sit back in my chair and watch as our daughter feeds from Oaklynn for the first time. The nurse leaves the room after letting us know to call if we need anything. Neither one of us talk as we focus on Amanda as she feeds. I watch Oaklynn know what to do as she burps her and then switches sides to continue feeding our girl. It’s natural and amazing and I know how lucky I am to witness this miracle take place. Relaxing back in my chair, I wait for Oaklynn to be done so I can change Amanda’s diaper and get her back to sleep once again. I might not be able to do as much as Oaklynn for our baby girl, but I’ll do whatever I can to help her out.

Chapter Fourteen

Oaklynn

BECOMING A MOM is oneof the best, most rewarding things in my life I’ve ever done. However, it’s also the hardest thing. It’s been two weeks since I had my daughter and every day is full of tears and seeing what a miracle our daughter is. Amanda is a hungry girl and wants to eat every hour and a half or so. I try to sleep when she does as Marie and Melissa have told me, but it doesn’t work. This week alone has been so damn hard. Even though I’m not alone much throughout the day, I’m still having such a hard time. I’ve barely slept and every single time I try to take a shower to scrub the grime from my body, Amanda cries and I have to feed her once again. I’ve literally only had the time to take quick sponge baths to ensure my body is clean when she breastfeeds. I’ve been pumping my breastmilk when I can so Marie and Melissa can feed her so I can try to take a nap, but my girl doesn’t like eating from a bottle right now. So, I’m exhausted and dirty as hell. However, I wouldn’t change having my daughter for anything in this world.

My biggest fear was that Amanda was going to have complications or something wrong with her after the way she was brought into this world. Her doctors have assured me she’s perfectly healthy and won’t have any lasting effects from her traumatic birth. They monitored her when she was in the hospital a few different times and she passed all the testing they do to newborn babies. It’s just my fear coming out and every little thing I worry about. Marie has assured me it’s completely normal and that I wouldn’t be a new mom if I didn’t worry as much as I am.

Omen is here every single day. We still haven’t had the talk we desperately need to have about what’s going to happen moving forward, but we’ve both been preoccupied with Amanda and being there for her every day. I love watching Omen with our daughter. He holds her like she’s the most precious angel in the world and loves anything he gets to do with her. After two weeks, he’s already a champion when it comes to changing her diaper. Nothing phases the man. Even when she had a blowout and pooped up and down her back, he didn’t hesitate to not only change her but bathe her so she was clean. Omen picked out an outfit and dressed her while I was dealing with her soiled clothing and bedding. It all had to be thrown out and I had to change her crib. Omen has tried to get me to take a nap when he’s here with her since Amanda will actually take a bottle from him every once in a while. I just can’t seem to get myself to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine the worst happening to her despite her being safe with her dad.

Rooster has been over here almost every single day. He stops over on his way to the clubhouse from the garage and spends at least an hour with his granddaughter. To watch the big MC President turn to a pile of mush for Amanda is a sight to witness. Rooster will sit on the couch and hold Amanda and not let anyone else here get near him. He tells us all it’s his ‘Papa time’ so he can bond with his granddaughter and no one will interrupt him. Rooster won’t even answer his phone and has told everyone to send all club business to Carbon since he’s the Vice President of the club. He’s a proud grandpa and has several pictures of our girl on his phone to show anyone who gets close enough to talk to him. I love watching him and his son get wrapped around the little finger of my daughter. She can’t even talk and has both men thoroughly enamored with her. I know both of them will do anything it takes to make her happy and they’ll shower her in love every single day.

Jace has also been coming over on a regular basis to see Amanda and help me out with her when no one else can be here for me. Omen and him have worked something out so he’s still working at Calhoun’s, but is still able to come over to the house on his lunch break or something. I don’t know all the details, but I’m happy to have one of my best friends here to spend time with me. There’s no way in hell I want to leave the house with my daughter for any reason. It sucks because she does have a doctor’s appointment coming up to check on her. Omen and Jace will be going with me to that appointment. For some reason no one in the club wants me to leave the house with the baby on my own. There is to be at least two guys with me if they’re members and more if it’s Prospects of the club. I don’t ask questions since I know I won’t get any answers as it is.

Today I’ve been all alone with Amanda and we’ve both had a few breakdowns. I’ve cried more tears in the last few hours than any other day since bringing her home. I want to call Omen and see if he can come over to help me, but I refuse to drag him from the important build he has going on for the fire department. He got the final approval from the fire chief about the design and the guys have all been putting in extra hours to start the build so they can tear it down to get the bike painted or chromed to put it all back together once again. I’ve listened to him talk about the build every day he’s here and it interests me because this is something Omen loves to do. He becomes completely animated when he talks about the bike they’re building and I can see who he is deep down. Omen isn’t a hard guy to understand if you pay attention to him for even a few minutes of the time you’re lucky enough to be with him.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when Amanda starts crying from the bassinet I have for her in the living room. I’ve chosen not to have the baby shower Marie, Melissa, and Kimber were going to throw me. There’s no point in having it since our girl is already here. Plus, everyone in the club already brought over a ton of gifts for our daughter and I don’t need anything more from anyone because we have way more than Amanda will ever use. Especially diapers. We got so many boxes of them that I don’t foresee having to buy any until she’s almost out of them. Yes, I’m kidding because I know diapers are used quicker than anyone anticipates.

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