Page 69 of Firecracker

“He kept things from you. He lied to you. You’re not a fool.”

“I should have known. We should have been partners in our marriage. I should have pushed harder for that. I should have contributed something.”

He made a low, rough sound in his throat. “You can spout out shoulda woulda couldas forever and a day. They don’t change anything, and it’s just beating yourself up about things you can’t change. And it doesn’t let him off the hook.Hewas the one who didn’t make you a partner. He didn’t tell you the truth about what was going on.”

“I had my head in the sand, and don’t try to tell me I didn’t because it’s true. There were a lot of reasons I liked our life. But deep down inside…I wasn’t really happy. Michael was…different than the guy I fell in love with in college.”

“Oh fuck no, don’t tell me he cheated on you too.”

“I don’t think so. But he changed. We used to have fun together. When he first got signed and we moved to Phoenix, we were both just laughing all the time at the crazy money they paid him and how we ended up in that kind of life. But he got really into that world. After he couldn’t play anymore, it seemed like the money and the lifestyle were more important to him than I was. He worked long hours. Actually it turned out he was busy gambling, desperately trying to make back some money, I presume. I found out about that afterward too, from some friends who let it slip.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “Too bad they didn’t care enough to tell mebeforehe committed suicide, when maybe there’d been a chance of getting him some help. But that was another thing I discovered…our friends weren’t really ‘friends.’ They all disappeared pretty quick.”

He made a growling sound.

“Michael and I had grown apart. He loved the good life…the fancy restaurants and parties, hanging out with rich, famous people, driving expensive cars, living in a beautiful house. He wanted me to look the part too, so he never minded that I shopped for clothes and shoes, and decorated the house, and went for lunches, manicures and pedicures. I went shopping with friends and belonged to a gym where all the other players’ wives went. It all felt silly and frivolous sometimes, but then…” She closed her eyes. “That was how I filled the emptiness in my life. It was all I had. Michael and I didn’t talk, and that’s partly my fault too. It was awful when he died, of course. There are no words…I was in shock. Numb. In denial. But…” She lifted her head and met Tyler’s eyes. “I didn’t love him anymore.”

Chapter Fourteen

Tyler’s heart banged against his ribs. Dismay tightened his gut at the terrible story Arden had just told him. And yet…

I didn’t love him.

It was fucking bizarre how happy he was to hear that.

He wasn’t competing with a dead guy. That was something. If she was still in love with her husband, he would have to back the fuck off, and he was so goddamn glad he didn’t have to do that.

Whatever else was making her hesitate, much as he fucking hated what she’d gone through—he could deal with it.

He was also struck by how strong she was to have dealt with all that. Sure, he teased her about being a princess, and she admitted she’d been a little spoiled and sheltered. But being lied to and betrayed by her husband, who then took his own life rather than deal with the consequences of what he’d done, had to have been devastating for her. Then she’d been the one left to clean up the mess that hadn’t been her making. The mess that had left her homeless and pretty much broke.

It sure as hell didn’t seem fair. But she wasn’t crying and whining about it. She hadn’t run home to her parents and asked them to bail her out. She hadn’t asked her brother, who had a fuck-ton of money and could easily have helped. Other than she’d taken his offer to live in this apartment that was a fucking mess. And now she was working as a goddamn waitress without a complaint, happy to have a job and go to work every day.

This all gave him a weird ache in his chest, along with a fierce desire to take care of her and make things better for her.

“I’m sorry, Arden. So damn sorry. You’ve been through hell.” He stroked her hair.

“I’m okay. I know I’m kind of taking advantage of Jamie by living here rent-free, but Iamgoing to pay him rent. I have a job now.”

He didn’t want to tell her that the money she made from her waitressing job probably wouldn’t cover the rent Jamie should charge for an apartment like this. She didn’t need that kind of reality check right now. She was trying to make a life for herself.

“This is why it’s so important for me to do this on my own.” She lifted her head and gazed at him, her eyes bright. “I need to prove I can do it. That I can be a grown-up and handle my own life and not screw it up.”

He wanted to assure her that she was definitely a grown-up and that he knew she could do it. But somehow he knew whatever he said would sound patronizing to her. And he got why she was pushing back at his attempt to help her. He could see how important it was to her.

“And I’m definitely not looking for a relationship.” She bit her lip.

Right. That was how they’d gotten into this discussion. She’d said they shouldn’t be doing this. But at least now he knew it wasn’t because she was still in love with her husband.

He smiled.

Her eyes widened.

“That’s great,” he said casually. “Neither am I. And since we agree that this has nothing to do with Jamie…” He bent his head and found her mouth again.

She made a little noise, but she kissed him back. The blanket slid off her shoulders, and he set his hands on her skin there, so soft, so warm. She lifted her arms and twined them around his neck as he deepened the kiss, that heat between them flaring up again.

She was here, in his arms, practically on his lap, and he was kissing her. Arden.

Fuck yeah.

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