Page 76 of Firecracker

“You and me both.” Mila stared at her sundae.

“Wait, what? What about Garth?” Arden gazed at Mila in concern.

“We haven’t had sex in weeks.” The corners of Mila’s mouth drooped. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Arden met Emma’s eyes, which were also concerned.

“Have you talked to him?” Arden asked.

“No. I hardly ever see him. We both work long hours, but lately it seems like he’s always busy. And when we do get together, he’s tired, or distracted…” She sighed.

“Do you think…he’s seeing someone else?” Emma asked carefully.

Mila shrugged. “I don’t know. It makes me wonder. But why would he do that? Why not just tell me?”

“Good question.”

“Well, I’m probably not the one to give advice…seeing as my own marriage was a total failure…but if I learned anything, it’s better to speak up if you’re worried about something than to ignore it or pretend there’s nothing wrong.”

Mila lifted her head to meet her eyes. “Your marriage was a total failure?”

Arden spooned more ice cream into her mouth and nodded. “Yeah. It was. And it was partly my fault.”

Even though Tyler had tried to convince her that Michael was the one responsible for his actions, she knew she had responsibility too. Sure, she wasn’t responsible for Michael’s actions, but maybe if she’d handled things differently instead of floating obliviously along Denial, which wasn’t just a river in Egypt, it wouldn’t have turned out the way it did.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Emma said quietly. “I’ve told you that many times.”

Clearly Mila wanted to know what had happened, and Arden wanted to include her. She hadn’t known Mila long, but the three of them had bonded over pole dancing and the Kardashians. And now homemade hot fudge sauce.

So she gave Mila a condensed version, with Emma contributing additional helpful information such as “he was such a douche dick” and “what a jack hole.”

Arden hadn’t wanted everyone to know that when she’d moved back to Chicago. She’d wanted to leave that behind. She’d wanted to pretend that her life had been perfect and beautiful, other than the fact she was a widow at twenty-eight. But real connections weren’t made with people over fake perfection—connections were made over shared struggles, with honesty. And since Mila had been honest about the problems she and Garth were having, it felt right to open up and admit that her perfect life had been a sham.

“I’m so sorry.” Mila’s eyes filled with compassion. “I can’t even imagine.”

“Thanks.”

“And not to speak ill of the dead, but yeah, he was a knobhead.”

Arden huffed. “I’ll never understand what happened with him. It makes me feel like I never really knew him. He got so into the money, the lifestyle…the prestige. And then he couldn’t…do without it, I guess. He must have been so messed up. Losing his football career was so traumatic for him. That was his whole identity, and when he didn’t have that, he must have been lost. And then when his new career wasn’t doing well, he must have been so desperate to try to make it seem like it was…” She shook her head.I should have known.

“You’re amazingly understanding,” Emma said quietly. “But I still think a real man would have been honest with you.”

“Well, my whole point in the story is to say that I was oblivious to what was going on, mostly, but when he started to get distant and pull away from me, I…didn’t do anything. It worried me a little…I shouldn’t have ignored it. I should have confronted him and made him talk to me. So you should talk to Garth.” She gave Mila a stern look.

Mila scrunched up her face. “Yeah. You’re right. I will.” She sighed. “You know, I’m trying to tick off all the boxes—good job, fabulous apartment, lots of friends, great boyfriend. I thought I was finally getting there. I got this great job at Jamie’s company, and the beautiful apartment. But this is, like, the eighth job I’ve had since college. Garth is the sixth boyfriend. I’ve had five roommates. Some of my friends have disappeared, and I’m still paying off student loans. Now I’m going to lose the great boyfriend.”

“Well, maybe he’s not so great,” Emma said carefully. “Not that I’ve ever met him.”

“I haven’t either.” Arden frowned. “And that’s not right. I want a chance to judge him on whether he’s good enough for you.”

Mila laughed. “You know what? I think I love both of you.”

Arden’s heart expanded hot in her chest. “I think I love you too.” She pointed her spoon at Emma. “Youalready know I love you.”

“Back atcha, babe.” Emma winked. “Mila, we’re here for you, whatever happens.”

“Thanks, bishes. You’re gonna make me cry.”

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