Page 96 of Firecracker

“And what about your mom? Is she still working?”

“Yeah. She’s still at the hospital.” He paused. “She wants to fix me up with her friend’s daughter.”

Arden blinked. “Oh.”

He shrugged. “I told Mom I’m not interested in her.”

“So she wants you to be an accountant, and she wants you to get married.”

He rolled his eyes. “Pretty much, yeah. And don’t forget the grandchildren. Jesus. I’m not ready for that.”

“But some day you want kids.”

He shrugged. “Sure. Some day.”

She nodded. “She wants a lot for you.”

“I guess all parents do, but…for her it’s hard because she was supposed to have two kids to pin all her hopes on. Now it’s just me.” He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant even though this topic made his insides clench. “I’ve tried, but I can’t be everything to her.”

She stared across the table at him, her eyes warm. “You put way too much pressure on yourself.”

He frowned. It wasn’t him putting pressure on himself. It had been his parents, now just his mom, putting pressure on him…wasn’t it?

“No child can be everything to his or her parents. If your mom really wants that, then that’s just wrong. You need to be your own person and live the life you want to live.”

He didn’t answer right away, letting her words sink in. “But I’m disappointing her. Don’t you want your parents to be proud of you? Oh wait, I forgot I’m talking to the prom queen who could do no wrong.”

She tilted her head to one side, studying him. Her scrutiny made him shift in his chair and drop his gaze. She seemed to recognize that this time the prom queen reference came out as more envious than teasing. And to recognize that it really bothered him that he’d disappointed his parents.

“You don’t thinkI’vefelt like I let my parents down over the last few years?” she asked softly. “Living in a marriage that was a sham, letting myself get into such a huge financial mess, letting my husband down to the point that he felt helpless and took his own life?”

“Thatwasn’t your fault.” He’d already told her that.

“I know,” she said quietly. “I do. But still…I feel like a huge failure at life. I know they’ve been worried about me, and I hate that.”

They had something in common there. Even though he’d found what he wanted to do, even though Arden hadn’t figured it all out yet, they both felt like they were letting people down.

He reached across the table and closed his fingers around her hand. She met his eyes, and he gave her hand a squeeze. “Maybe we both need to ease up on ourselves.”

She curled her fingers around his, holding his gaze. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

They managed to keep the conversation off sex, mostly, during their delicious dinner, but even so, having Arden sitting across from him in this romantic setting looking so goddamn gorgeous kept his dick at half-mast most of the time.

He had to say, though, he was having fun. Even talking about nonsexual topics with Arden was entertaining…discovering they shared political views, had similar feelings about the importance of community and giving back, and both hated when people talked about everything wrong in the world being because of millennials, and stereotypes about them.

“We’re not all the same,” Arden said with an eye roll. “Some of us actually do want secure jobs we can stay at for the rest of our lives.”

“Like me.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that what you want?”

She huffed. “I don’t know what I want. But I’m envious of you.”

Once again, he had that fierce protective instinct, a feeling of wanting to look after her. Which he knew was not the way to go with her while she was finding her way. So he kept quiet about that, while vowing to do anything he could to make life easier for her and keep her safe.

He signed off on the credit card slip for their meal, adding a tip, then slipped his card into his wallet. They’d finished the bottle of wine and that arousal was still a low-grade buzz inside him.

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