Page 128 of Firecracker

“Oh.”

“He’s worried about you. You’re not answering his texts.”

“Did you tell him I’m fine?”

“No, dear.” Mom’s tone was dry. “Because you’re not. Please. You have to talk to me. We’re all worried about you.”

A tear trickled from one eye and slid down her face and into her ear. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Jamie says you and Tyler have been seeing each other.”

“Seeing each other.” She gave a short laugh. “Yes. It was hard to avoid seeing each other, living across the hall from each other. And when he was renovating the apartment I was living in.”

“You know what I mean. And what do you mean the apartment youwereliving in? Are you not planning on going back?”

Shit. “I can’t.”

“What happened, sweetie? Something with Tyler?” Mom’s voice sharpened. “I know you were devastated by what Michael did…Tyler hasn’t…hurt you, has he?”

“No.” The word came out on a sob.

“Good. Because if any other man hurts you again, I’ll have to kick his ass.”

She sniffled out a laugh. “Thanks, Mom. But he didn’t. It was me. I’m the one who was an asshole.”

After a beat, Mom said quietly, “How so?”

“After what happened with Michael, I didn’t want to get involved with someone again.”

“I guess I can understand that you’d need time for that. And that you might be afraid of getting hurt again.”

“It’s not that I’m afraid of getting hurt again. I mean, maybe I am, a little, but…I trust Tyler.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“He shouldn’t trustme. I don’t trust myself.”

Mom’s eyebrows knitted and she waited patiently for Arden to go on.

“I never realized how unhappy Michael was.” She twisted her fingers together and stared at them. “He must have been so miserable. So desperate. We were married, and I never even noticed how unhappy he was.”

Mom closed her eyes briefly, her lips thinning.

Arden pulled in a slow breath. “I should have known. I should have known how bad things were. I should have made him talk to me and tell me what was going on. I could have helped him, and I could have stopped him…from…” Her throat closed up.

“You don’t know that, Arden.” Mom’s low, steady voice eased her tension. A little. “You can never really know what’s going on in someone’s head. You can’t take responsibility for what happened.”

“But I do! I let him down! I should have been there for him, and I wasn’t. And now I hurt Tyler too. I was just letting things go on, not even realizing he was falling in love with me. Iama spoiled, selfish princess, just like he said.”

Mom’s eyebrows flew up. “He said that?”

“No.Isaid that. I mean, he did call me princess, but in a nice way. I’m the one who felt spoiled and selfish. When Michael died, I lost everything. And I realized I just coasted through life, letting other people look after me. I didn’t even have a job. I felt like I was…nobody.”

“Oh, sweetie.”

“I wanted to take charge of my life. I wanted to prove I could do it. Be a grown-up. And…and I failed.” Her voice cracked.

“I didn’t realize how much you were blaming yourself,” Mom said quietly.

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